


ashen squall • wonwoo x junhui • hybrid au

by abnegative



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hybrids, M/M, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2020-01-23 07:16:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 36
Words: 55,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18544903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abnegative/pseuds/abnegative
Summary: hybrid auwonwoo x junhui - ongoingAnd as people stared, laughed, pointed and giggled, the fox went further and further into his mind. The place where there weren’t glass walls and dirty newspaper. The place where his damp earthen home surrounded him with rich loamy smells and soft furry comforts.The place gone but not forgotten. The life before he was taken.18/04/2019 - ongoingupdates every Sundaysmut / angst / fluff / romance





	1. Chapter 1

Prologue - Taken

 

_“Run!”_

_It was the last time he saw her. It was the last time he saw any of them. He didn’t know how many of them were alive, captured, dead or free._

_All he knew was that he had been taken._

_The man with the angry smile had been overjoyed. “This one’s real pretty,” he’d leered at the grey fox hybrid. He was just a kit. Like all hybrids he was growing and maturing fast but his long skinny arms and legs gave away his young age. He was almost as tall as his captor but not nearly as strong._

_“S-stay away from me...” he stammered as his rounded ears flattened back against his skull. He pressed himself as far back against the mesh of the cage as he could but, to his relief, the man didn’t try to touch him. “Put this on,” he said as he tossed a loose rough smock towards the frightened hybrid._

_Hybrids were common enough as pets and a kind of modern day house slave in a more palatable form for the bourgeoisie. Dog hybrids, cat hybrids, mouse hybrids, rabbit hybrids. But, as always in society, those with money and power wanted something a little extra. Something wild and exotic, that their friends didn’t have, something to be paraded and coveted above a domestic hybrid pet._

_And this was how the young fox found himself stolen from the forest, separated from his family, caged like the wild animal he never wanted to be._

_The first stop was rough. He was penned besides many other rare and exotic creatures. An unusually large monkey hybrid who was terrified of his own shadow. A magnificent peacock hybrid who was so stressed he was slowly pulling out the feathers of his colourful tail. A parrot hybrid, delicate and dainty, with her wings maimed on purpose so she could never fly again. And him, the tall and painfully thin grey fox with his sharp eyes and angular features, his adorable rounded ears and full fluffy brush tail._

_The others broke slowly, one by one, but not the fox. They beat him, starved him, taunted him, threw cold water on him. He never broke. He never failed to try to bite the hand that fed him when the food did eventually come._

_Finally they came with the shock collar and finally he had to cave. He had no choice. Obey or shock were the only choices and the hybrid began to find a place inside him where no one could get to him. A quiet place of damp leaves and earthen beds, of moonlight and winter and sunflower filled fields. Of bodies piled against each other, brushy tails and snuffly noses, of warmth and family and love. And when the shock collar sent his body into rigid fits of pain his mind went to this quiet place where he only knew youth and happiness._

_His first home didn’t last long. They had a daughter. She was five and wanted him to walk on a jewelled pink leash and sleep in a pink teepee in the corner of her room. After four days of her pulling roughly at his ears he bit her and was back in the hybrid dealers shed being beaten and shocked. The fox didn’t remember what they looked like or what name they gave him. All he could remember was the pain rippling through his sensitive ears._

_His next home was worse. The spoilt nineteen year old son leered all over him and asked the dealer if the fox had ever gone into heat. His parents feigned indifference to their sons proclivity and the fox was soon back in the shed with more than a few bite marks that would probably scar. But he’d fought him off and won._

_The next home lasted a little longer. The fox was smart and he learned quickly how to fetch and carry, do the housework, clean and mop and tidy all day for the rich and childless middle aged couple. He worked himself into exhaustion every day, falling half starved into bed every night, until his hunger got the better of him._

_He thought he was silent but he was caught taking an apple from the kitchen without asking permission and was severely beaten. He snapped, he lashed out with his teeth and claws, and was back in the shed with new stripes of shiny pink scar tissue streaking his soft white skin._

_Other hybrids came and went, broken and bent, trained to be compliant. The only thing that worked on the fox was the collar that was the bane of his existence. Until the final indignity that could ever be imposed was slapped on him. “I’ve sold you to a pet store,” one of the hybrid dealers said with his hand in his rapidly greying hair. “For almost nothing as well. You’ve been nothing but a pain in the ass for almost two years now. I’ve had enough.”_

_The pet store wasn’t so bad. He huddled up the back of the brightly lit glass cage, surrounded by the newspaper they deemed enough to keep him warm, his bowl filled with a little dry dog food and a slice of apple. It wasn’t much but at least here he could eat. The dog food was dry and tasteless but it filled a little of the gnawing hole in his stomach. He was too scared, too scarred, to touch the apple._

_He tried to hide in the newspaper as best he could but people came past all day. Not to buy. Just to stare. The sign that said not to put fingers into the cage, combined with the electric shock collar and the ever present sneer of viciousness on the hybrids face, weren’t exactly selling points. And as people stared, laughed, pointed and giggled, the fox went further and further into his mind. The place where there weren’t glass walls and dirty newspaper. The place where his damp earthen home surrounded him with rich loamy smells and soft furry comforts._

_The place gone but not forgotten. The life before he was taken._


	2. Discovery

 

 

He was late. He grabbed his work bag, filled with his tools, and tossed a cap onto his head. It was emblazoned with the logo of his friends family communications company. And while his friend, Xu Minghao, was working his way up the ladder of his family’s successful business Wen Junhui was just glad to have the job.

 

He fixed the hat and smoothed down the coveralls he’d tossed on without ironing. No one would notice. Within half an hour he’d be up a ladder and crawling around in the roof of some business premesis anyway. He didn’t go to work to look good. He went to work to pay for the below average 2 bedroom cottage he’d taken a lease on as he tried to make it work in Korea. He didn’t want to have to go back to China.

 

When he’d arrived a few years ago with a small stack of cash and a big dream in his heart he never imagined this would be where he’d end up. His parents, strict and overbearing, told him he’d never make it as a singer. He didn’t want to have to go home and confess they were right. Instead he’d taken bar jobs and cleaning jobs and, after meeting Minghao at an open mic night, this job laying cables for XUCOM. It at least paid the bills.

 

He almost ran out the door without his lunch and quickly doubled back to the refrigerator and grabbed the prepacked meal he’d made the night before. No way was he spending his cash on cheap and greasy street food everyday. The only thing Junhui loved more than cooking and eating was singing and dancing.

 

Finally, after going back for the lunch, then his safety glasses he’d forgotten, then one last time for his phone the absentminded man walked out his front door. “Hey,” he said as he swung his bag into the back of Minghao’s work van among rolls and rolls of blue coated cabling. “You gonna go back and lock your house up?” Minghao sighed from the front seat in that way that demonstrated both his infinite patience and utter exasperation with his scatterbrained friend.

 

Junhui just laughed and went back up the porch stairs to close and lock the door. He then checked his pockets and grinned when he found his keys in the front one. He’d climbed in through the window countless times when he’d locked his keys inside.

 

“What’s the go for today?” He smiled brightly at his younger but infinitely more capable supervisor who indicated and pulled the van away from the curb. “We’re laying a whole new system for this big pet store over in the Pacific Beach Mall.” Junhui’s eyes instantly lit up. “P-pet Store!” His eyes began to flicker unnervingly from side to side as he clapped his hands together. “I love pet stores.” “You won’t like this one,” Minghao said as he gripped the steering wheel tighter. “This is a hybrid pet store.”

 

In China the hybrid trade was nothing but a prostitution racket. Hybrids were bought and sold, traded like they were nothing, and always at a young age. They were used and abused until they could no longer work in the semi legal brothels or breed for their private masters. Most lived a mercifully short life. Here in Korea things were only marginally better. Anyone who had money had a hybrid. They were a strange kind of status symbol to be paraded around like a cross between a pet and a maid. Junhui found the whole thing repulsive. So did Minghao, as did many of their generation, but society changed slower than the shift of seasons.

 

“We’ll just get the job done. Okay? We can do the roof work today and then go in tomorrow afternoon and work the floor and walls after hours. Then on Wednesday we’ll set up the modems and software and stuff and it will be all over.” Minghao’s lips set into a thin line as he drove towards the mall. He didn’t like it any more than Junhui did but this was his families business and reputation on the line and he was determined to get the job done as he would with any other.

 

They parked the van and got out in the blinding sun of the car park. Minghao collected his bag filled with plans and schemes and Junhui grabbed a big roll of cable and put it on the trolly. It slipped at the last minute and almost got away from him but he grabbed it just in time. “That shits expensive. You let it roll away and dad will kill me. Then I’ll have to kill you.” Minghao’s face was all business now the clients store was in sight and Junhui just nodded and double checked the roll was secured as he swung his bag onto his back, swung the ladder under his arm, and followed Minghao into the mall.

 

They could smell it before they heard it. It didn’t smell overtly bad. It just had that mix of straw and fur and urine in the air that all pet shops seemed to exude. Junhui immediately felt uncomfortable and crept closer to Minghao. For the first time ever he couldn’t wait to get the ladder out and get up inside the roof.

 

Minghao stood off to the side and confirmed logistics with the owner, a smart looking woman in her middle age, all sleek hair and overly made up smile. Junhui stood around awkwardly, trying not to look at the two cat hybrids half his size blinking at him from heir glass enclosure. They were tiny and Junhui tried not to wonder where their parents were, who was going to buy them, what their future held. He stared at the floor and scuffed the toe of his work boot against the white tiles until Minghao was done.

 

“You can take breaks around there,” the woman pointed towards a corner concealing what Junhui assumed was a staff room. “And you can use the staff toilet.” Minghao nodded and bowed his thanks and they headed towards the indicated manhole in the roof.

 

He’d done this a million times. Junhui climbed up into the roof and pulled and cut cables with ease. Minghao worked one side and he worked the other as they pulled and cut and dragged the blue wires into line according to the plan. “What’s all this for anyway?” Junhui asked and wished he hadn’t. “They’re setting the store up with an online auction website where people can bid for the hybrids. They want touchscreens on all the enclosures linked to the hybrids auction listing.”

 

Minghao couldn’t meet Junhui’s eyes as he felt the sorrow steaming from the older man. He was goofy and disorganised and very weird but his friend was a good man and kind hearted to a fault. “It’s just another job Junhui,” Minghao said softly. “I know,” Junhui replied as he turned his focus back onto the cables and cut and ran the next line.

 

The work made the time pass and soon it was lunch. The two men swung down from the roof and back onto their ladder and began to rummage in their bags they’d left in the owners office for safekeeping. Minghao pulled out a container of cold leftover fried chicken and Junhui rolled his eyes. “No wonder you’re so skinny,” he smirked as Minghao eyed Junhui’s assortment of home cooked chicken breast and freshly cut fruit. “You need proper nutrition.” “Nothing wrong with a bit of leftover KFC Jun-gē,” Minghao giggled in his endearing way as they walked out and back towards the area they’d been shown. Junhui tried to ignore the group of middle school girls giggling over a particularly handsome dog hybrid, the middle aged man showing way too much interest in the pair of kittens near the front entrance, the couple paying for a large collar and leash set at the counter. It all made him feel so uncomfortable.

 

They made their way around a corner and found a bench flush against a wall. Minghao indicated it with his eyes and Junhui followed him. He sat down next to him and peered around to see another corridor leading to a seperate area. “That must be where they keep the fish,” Minghao said, remembering a visit to one of his Dads business associates a few years back. It had been the trend at the time to have big aquariums and Minghao remembered standing fascinated in front of a glass walled aquarium containing two goldfish hybrids with the bodies of young men and tails of glittering orange fire. 

 

“You ever seen a goldfish hybrid Gegē?” he asked and Junhui shook his head. He picked out a slice of chicken and brought it to his mouth, chewing slowly, enjoying the taste of the spices he’d coated it in. He smiled and picked a strawberry, dropping it in surprise when he heard a pained whimper, coming from around the hidden corner.

 

“What’s that?” he asked and Minghao shrugged. He _knew_ he shouldn’t. He _knew_ he would regret it. But he got up anyway and walked over to the doorway. When he walked through to the other room his breath caught in his chest at the shock.

 

Imprisoned behind a glass wall was the most pitifully beautiful thing Junhui had ever seen. He knew straight away that this was no ordinary hybrid. He had fluffy ears and a long tail but he was no dog or cat. Everything about his facial features, the wildness of his inherent nature, the savagely raw fierceness of his demeanour screamed wild animal. This was no domesticated house pet. This was a fox.

 

His hair was dark and rumpled, more than a little too long, slightly curled from the humidity of the back room. He was clad in only a loose smock of some kind, a stark contrast to the cute dandy outfits worn by the hybrids on display our the front. The way it had been torn and freyed made Junhui wonder exactly how long ago someone deemed this poor creature no longer worthy of proper clothing.

 

His face was dirty and his hands were too. And thin, he was so worryingly thin, his prominent collarbones visible through the askew neckline of his smock. Junhui’s eyes flicked over the thick collar around his neck, the warning sign on the front of his cage, the odd makeshift den crafted from dirty and damp newspaper. And then he saw the source of the creatures mewles of pain.

 

A few scattered pieces of, to Junhui’s disgust - dog kibble, laid just outside the cage. It was out of reach of the poor fox hybrid who was curled up trying to reach them with his long fingers angling out of a ventilation grate. Junhui’s stomach churned and he wanted to throw up. This creature, this poor frightened starving creature, was both stunning in his beauty and terrifying in his raw animal nature. But Junhui couldn’t stop himself from moving closer. He was hungry.

 

Junhui bent down to pick up the hard lumps of dog food before his stomach churned again. Dog food? This ethereal gift to the earth, this wildly beautiful man-fox, being fed dog food? It made Junhui feel beyond sick.

 

“Hungry?” he crooned softly and the creature seemed to see him for the first time. His hand snapped back and before Junhui knew what was happening the fox had hidden himself inside the pile of newspapers in the corner.

 

Newspaper? No blanket? No cozy soft pillow, not even a dog bed, not even some fucking straw? He began to seethe silently as he dealt with what was in front of him. He turned on his heel and retreated back to the other room. 

 

“What’s in there Jun?” Minghao asked with curiosity as he chewed on a cold chicken finger. “The most beautiful thing I’ve ever see. Hao. And he’s hungry,” Junhui said as he grabbed his lunchbox.


	3. Hunger - the overriding sensation - the gnawing emptiness

 

 

The fox was so hungry he didn’t notice the man until he spoke. He’d been so fixated on trying to claw back the few scraps of dog kibble that had spilled out when he’d accidentally knocked his food bowl. 

 

He was lying on the floor desperately trying to reach them when he heard a voice. It was soothing with an unusual accent, an almost melodic lilt, and a slow and gentle cadence. The man only spoke one word but it was the word that represented so much of the fox’s short and pitiful life so far. 

 

“Hungry?”

 

“ _Of course I’m fucking hungry, I’ve barely eaten since they locked me up,”_ is what the fox wanted to tell him. Hunger was all he knew, besides cold, damp, sad, discomfort, and fear. Hunger was always the overriding sensation. Instead he scattered and hid, his newspaper flurrying, the den almost collapsing as he buried himself inside. He didn’t like when people tried to talk to him. Usually they were just laughing at him anyway. 

 

To his surprise the man came back. The fox could see him walk into view and sit down near the glass wall by the air vent. He eyed him suspiciously from inside his burrowed nest of damp papers. He didn’t look much like any of the other people who came into the pet store. The people who came in to gawk at him, mostly just out of curiosity, were usually young and vapid and stupid. Those who came to buy were rich and rude. This man seemed to be none of those things. 

 

He was very handsome, the fox thought to himself, his face finely crafted with perfect proportions. His hair was rumpled and his clothes were weird. He was wearing one garment but it wasn’t loose like the fox’s smock he’d been in for months. It was similar but it was pants. But this man was definitely not a hybrid. So he was definitely not to be trusted.

 

“You can come out. I won’t hurt you, I can’t anyway, you’re safe behind the glass.”

 

The fox liked the sound of the man’s voice. It’s strange accent made it different from all the scary voices he’d heard in the past that had yelled at him, laughed at him, leered at him. But he didn’t move from his makeshift den. He just watched.

 

“I know you’re hungry. I am too,” the man said and the fox heard a click of plastic. The scent which wafted into his flared nostrils was like heaven. He could smell meat, bird meat, his favourite kind. A long time ago, in another life, his mother used to bring home bird for him and the rest of the litter. The fox remembered fighting with his brothers and sisters for a piece of the leg which was the best part. 

 

His mouth began to slaver as he inhaled the scent. Sometimes the cruel man who ran the hybrid dealership would eat his food in front of them but even that never smelled as wonderful as this. His eyes peeped out from the entrance of his den as he saw the man move closer.

 

“Here,” he said and poked a small piece through the gap. It fell to the floor beside the glass wall as the fox felt his instincts fight each other. Stay in the safety of the den but hunger for the food or take a risk? In the end hunger, as it always did, won.

 

The fox slinked cautiously out of his den and crawled across the floor. A short lifetime of confined spaces had given him an odd way of moving, more animal than human, unlike most hybrids. Most could walk and run like any other bipedal creature but the fox had learned to stay low to the ground. He moved as quickly as he could, snatched the chicken with a dirty and scuffled back into his den. Saliva ran freely from the corners of his mouth as he chewed the tiny piece of chicken faster than he wanted to. He’d wanted to enjoy it, savouring the treat the way it deserved, but he was just so hungry.

 

He peeped out again and to his surprise the man was watching him with an indiscernible expression somewhere between anguish and disgust. The fox didn’t care. He didn’t care for reading human emotions. He _did_ care for the second piece of chicken the man was jamming through the vent. He moved quickly across the floor and grabbed it and began to nibble at the meat. It had a salty taste, slightly citrus, and was so juicy it filled his mouth with watery saliva.

 

“You like it?” the man asked casually as if he was talking to just anyone. “It’s a bit too salty I think but the lemon juice on the skin is nice.” “It’s yummy,” the fox whispered and the man’s eyes widened ever so slightly but he recovered his composure quickly. “I would have brought more if I had known I’d be sharing.”

 

The fox crouched near the vent sniffing the air, trying to hide his excitement, as he watched the man pick the rest of the chicken and poke the tiny pieces through the gap and into his prison. All thoughts of caution had gone out the window as the fox enjoyed the best meal he’d had since his capture. “When was the last time you had chicken?” The man asked him and the fox shook his head. He didn’t really understand the word chicken but he knew the man was referring to the white slivers of cooked bird. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever had it before.

 

By the time he’d finished he had chicken grease and saliva all over his chin and the man watched with amusement as he rolled on a piece of paper and rubbed his chin against it to try and clean himself. “Do you eat fruit?” The man asked and the fox shrugged. He knew fruit was what earned him the scars down his back but it had been worth it at the time. His stomach rumbled and churned with the sudden onslaught of fullness but he still moved back over to the vent as he watched the man pull out a small slice of red fruit. 

 

“Ever had a strawberry?” He whispered softly and the fox shook his head. The tart sweet fruit made every single tastebud in his mouth come to life and he closed his eyes in bliss while he chewed. “You ate all my food!” The man laughed loudly and suddenly sending the fox scuttling across the floor back into his nest.

 

“Sorry!” The man said and the fox peeped out and watched him pack up his lunchbox. “I’m coming again tomorrow. I’ll bring more chicken,” he said as he got up and left the room.

The fox shivered inside his damp and dank den and wondered if he was telling the truth. Humans never told the truth. They always lied and made things up and never, ever, said what they really meant. But as he curled up around his aching stomach and drifted off into a food coma the fox felt warm. No one had ever shown him such kindness. He wasn’t sure how to feel about the man with the ‘chicken’ but he knew that he felt better with real food in his stomach.


	4. scent and scents (and sense)

 

 

Junhui couldn’t sleep. All he could think about as he tossed and turned inside his humble little house was the ethereal creature that had captured his attention. He couldn’t stop wondering how soft his ears were, how his face would look with a smile on it instead of raw fear, how his voice would sound with laughter coaxed gently from his throat.

 

How could he lay in his warm, albeit old and kind of small, bed knowing the fox was cold and damp sleeping in newspapers.

 

 _Newspapers_.

 

It disgusted him. The newspapers, the dog food, the dirty worn out smock. It was so dehumanising. He’d tried to mask the repulse on his face as he watched the poor starving creature slaver over the chicken but he couldn’t help it. The pet store made him feel sick.

 

“You’ll get us in trouble,” Minghao hissed at him when he realised his employee had fed the hybrid his lunch. “No one here gives a shit about him,” Junhui had replied. Minghao didn’t like it any more than Junhui but he had a family corporation and reputation on the line. Junhui had nothing to lose but his job.

 

In the end he got out of bed at 5am and began making a packed dinner. He searched his kitchen for things that would be super nutritious and small enough to poke through the vent. In the end he  roasted a chicken and shredded the meat from the thigh and, on a whim, he kept the bone. He mixed some peanut butter in a bowl with chopped walnuts and dried cranberries and rolled the mix into little balls. It was an odd lunch for a fox but he hoped it would be enough.

 

Junhui tried to fill his day with anything that involved avoiding thoughts of the fox. Eventually the time passed enough to shower and get ready. He ironed his coveralls neatly and made sure he was clean shaven and combed his hair up off his face in a neat style. He searched his bathroom cupboard for some old styling wax leftover from the last time he had a date and ran a little through his hair to keep it in place.

 

“Nice,” he smiled and gave himself the thumbs up in the mirror before grabbing the lunchbox and waiting outside for Minghao.

 

 

 

When he climbed into the van Minghao began to laugh. “What the fuck?” He giggled uncontrollably as he eyed Junhui’s hair and the lunchbox he was clutching. “Are you...” he couldn’t even get the words out. “Are you courting the fox?” It was a while before he recovered enough to start driving as Junhui sat embarrassed in the passenger seat. “I’m just going to feed him again,” he whispered and Minghao groaned. “What are you doing? Please don’t fuck this job up for me,” he turned the vehicle into the mall carpark and they disembarked with their supplies.

 

They worked in the roof for three hours until it was dinner time and the store was closed. As soon as he grabbed his lunchbox Junhui’s eyes lit up and Minghao just shook his head. “Go on then,” he said and folllowed Junhui out of curiosity. He hadn’t wanted to see the object of Junhui’s sudden affection but inquisitiveness had gotten the better of him. He gasped in shock as Junhui moved slowly towards the glass and the skinny creature crawled out of the newspaper pile.

 

“Oh God,” Minghao whispered as he saw the state of the hybrid. He also saw what had Junhui so addicted. The creature, while dirty and thin and absolutely wild, was exquisitely and exotically beautiful. When he spoke the creature noticed him and quickly skidded back into the safety of his makeshift den making Junhui frown. Minghao silently walked out leaving them alone.

 

 

“He’s gone,” Junhui whispered as he saw glowing amber eyes blinking at him from inside the den. “Come out please. I brought more chicken.”

 

 _Chicken_...

 

The fox followed the scent back over to the vent where they had shared a meal the day before. His stomach growled audibly and, to Junhui’s surprise, he made a soft yipping sound as he crouched low to the ground. “I, ah, made this just for you. Yesterday I brought chicken breast but I really think the leg is the tastiest part...”

 

The fox felt his mind swim with a thousand conflicting feelings. No one had ever spoken to him so gently, so kindly and so reverently, and no one had ever come back. He kept low and submissive, afraid to mess up, his throat yipping softly as he anticipated the delicious meal.

 

The man was right. The leg was the best part of the bird. This time there was no lemony taste, not too much salt, definitely flavours and spices he couldn’t identify. He was further from starvation than he was yesterday so this time he was able to sit cross-legged in front of the vent and enjoy the meat slower. When he was done and he saw the man produce the bone he felt like a kit again. He spun around and onto his feet and whined in excited delight knowing he’d feel the embarrassment later. He didn’t care. In that moment he was running on pure instinct.

 

Junhui poked the bone through the hole. “Save it,” he said but the fox didn’t listen. He shoved the thigh bone between his lips and sucked it like a child sucked a sweet lollipop with the same enthusiasm. Eyes closed, saliva running down his chin, happy little yips and whines escaping the fox’s throat. Junhui suddenly felt hot as he realised why so many likes to have the hybrids around. The fox was attractive and sensual in the most raw and wild way Junhui had ever seen. He couldn’t ever remember feeling as attracted to someone as he did watching the fox suck on the chicken bone.

 

He shifted uncomfortably at the sudden and swollen heat in his pants and forced himself to look away. When he heard a crunching noise he looked back to see the fox chomping down on the bone shattering it into splinters with his strong jaw. Junhui shuddered. A minute ago he’d been so heated by the fox slavering the bone and now all he could think of was how easily he could shatter his fingers.

 

The fox was in heaven with the sharp shards of bone crunching in his mouth. It was a tactile sensation that took him back to a time before he was stolen from his life. When he belonged to himself and a pile of snuffly noses and brush tails and a mother who provided den and bird and warmth in the night. He eyed the man who seemed genuinely caring and kind. The fox had a keen nose for intention and he could smell the honesty on the man. He could smell his arousal and his virility but it was heavily tempered by kindness and empathy and innocence.

 

The man began to drop little balls of something the fox had never tried into the glass cage and he tried to listen as the man talked about ‘peanut butter’ and ‘craisins’ but he was too far gone in a haze of rich sweet bliss. “Save some for later,” the man implored him, “in case I can’t come back anymore.”

 

This made the fox stop. He _wanted_ the man to come back. He wanted the man to bring more of his delicious bird and his fatty sweet peanut butter and his rich masculine scent heavy with fertility and nurture. He’d never lost the ability to trust men. He’d never ever had a reason to start in the first place. But this one smelled of comfort and food and security. It was unsettling and made the fox cower a little as he dealt with his instincts.

 

“I’ll come again tomorrow,” the man said as he brushed his hair back from his perfectly crafted face. His eyes sparkled with soft delight when he saw the fox gather the remaining peanut butter balls and secret them away in his den. He watched the man from inside his shelter as he packed up the remains of the food and he was just about to leave when the fox came out again.

 

“Do you need something else?” He asked as the fox looked at him quizzically for a moment before beckoning him closer to the vent. “Can I scent you?” the fox asked and Junhui took a moment to realise what he was asking for. He moved closer to the ground and held his hand out towards the vent and watched the fox press his nose against it and inhale deeply. He sniffed a few times and inhaled again and his face softened a little from the hard scowl he always seemed to wear.

 

The hot breath on his hand made Junhui feel strange again and his voice broke a little as he stuttered out the words. “C-can I know your name little fox?” He asked and the fox thought for a minute. “No one’s ever kept me long enough to name me,” he said as his dark eyes blazed with the remnants of his past trials.

 

“Who were you before you were caged?” Junhui asked and this made the fox scowl again. Who was he? Before he was caged, captured, he was cool breezes in rumpled hair and midnight runs along the banks of a river. He was midday naps in a sunflower field and warm nights in a pile of siblings. He was sky and sun, earth and rain, he was wind and fire and freedom.

 

“They used to call me Wonwoo,” he whispered as he moved towards the vent again and Junhui held out his hand. He let the fox sniff him again before he had to go. “I’ll come again tomorrow,” he said as he gathered up the food mess. “Wonwoo is a beautiful name.”


	5. the surprise of potential freedom

 

“I don’t know what to do,” Junhui said the next morning as he stretched in the grey light of early morning. He had an affinity for the dawn and meeting Soonyoung at the gym had introduced him to a kindred spirit. They had started running in the mornings as the sun crested the horizon and it was Junhui’s favourite part of the day.

 

“There’s only two things you can do. Either buy it or forget about it.” Soonyoung laced his runners tighter and stood up, stretching out his back, his lean body reaching up to the cold grey sky. Before Junhui could answer Soonyoung was off at a brisk jog and Junhui had to keep up.

 

They ran in silence, down the road, past the woods behind the town. They ran along the dirt path by the creek and over the little wooden bridge and back across the empty blocks of land that couldn’t sell. Junhui couldn’t afford to live any closer to the city than he did now but he liked it out here on the very edge of suburbia anyway. 

 

Buying the hybrid had never crossed his mind. He thought Soonyoung would suggest some kind of social media protest or covert delivery of food to the pet store daily. He never expected the stark and honest advice his friend had just given him.

 

What would he do with the hybrid? Could be even keep a hybrid in his tiny two bedroom? This wild creature, full of vitriol and agitation and grief. How would he care for it? Would it hurt him? He didn’t know.

 

By the time they’d run past the high school and back down the block to Junhui’s house he had an idea. It was probably the worst idea he’d ever had in his life but he couldn’t forget about the sad creature trapped in the glass cage.

 

“I want to buy him and set him free.”

 

Soonyoung frowned before his face broke into an adorable bright smile. “Great idea! You can bring him home and let him stay for a while and then take him back to where they captured him.” Junhui nodded slowly. He didn’t know how much they wanted for the fox but he didn’t care. It was just money. It would be worth it to be able to sleep at night knowing the beautiful creature was free from the torment of his prison.

 

 

He showered and dressed and waited for Minghao. He knew the fox liked chicken but today he’d packed some rich flakes of salmon as well as peanut butter balls and fresh fruit. He decided to feed the fox again and then ask him if he would like to be bought and freed.

 

The shock collar scared him, the warning signs scared him, the bone shattering power of the fox’s jaw scared him. A part of his brain told him he couldn’t handle this. That he was putting himself into danger. But he pushed that part of his common sense deep down where he could ignore it. He had to do something.

 

 

“Another day of trying to get a date with a fox?” Minghao smirked in amusement when he saw Junhui’s neat styled hair and tightly-clutched lunch box. “No I’m going to ask him if I can buy him,” Junhui said and Minghao almost ran the van off the road. “You’re going to buy a hybrid Gē?” he said, voice full of incredulity, his hair flopping as he shook his head. “He’s dangerous. The sign even says so. He’s wearing a shock collar for goodness sake....” Everyone, not just hybrid owners, knew the collars were a last resort. It was in a domestic hybrids nature to be submissive and eager to please but the wild fox wasn’t a domestic housepet. His nature was fight or flight.

 

“I’m going to ask him first. And then I’m going to free him.” Junhui was steadfast in his resolve. He had to do something and this was all he could think of. “If you let him go and they catch him they might kill him,” Minghao said and tears filled Junhui’s eyes. “He’s so unhappy Minghao. He’d probably prefer to die over a life in that cage. At least I can offer him a choice. A chance.” Minghao knew he wasn’t going to talk him out of this. He’d only known Junhui a few years but he could be stubborn when he wanted to be and by the look on his face he’d already made up his mind.

 

 

 

 

 

Junhui managed to focus on his work. This wasn’t his area of expertise but he couldn’t get distracted. Minghao set up all the connections and installed all the software as a Junhui stood ready to climb into the roof and fix any missed wires or plugs. But their installation was flawless as per usual and they took their lunch break as they waited for the programs to install on the computers and touchscreens. “Go,” Minghao’s eyes indicated the doorway and Junhui went straight in to find the fox.

 

This time he came straight out at the scent of Junhui’s approach. Junhui saw the fox wrinkle his nose a little and almost cooed aloud at how cute he looked. The warnings of the fox’s danger were forgotten when the creature approached in a low crouch, small yips escaping his throat, his ears facing forward in happy submission. “I brought food again,” Junhui said and when he opened the lunchbox his stomach sank. The fox immediately retched and disappeared into his damp newspaper den and Junhui scowled at the flakes of salmon. “Stupid idiot,” he admonished himself as he frowned at the offending fish. He prepared what he thought was a nutritious lunch without even considering if foxes ate fish. Judging by the molten amber eyes blinking at him from the den he guessed they didn’t. This one definitely didn’t.

 

“I’m sorry,” Junhui whispered as he closed the lid and pushed the food away. “I fucked up,” he laughed nervously and ran a hand through his hair and the fox began to slink back out towards him. “You didn’t know,” he said softly as he cowered at the man behind the glass. “I still have some of the peanut butter anyway.”

 

Junhui got out the fruit and began to poke it through the vent, strawberries and grapes going straight in the foxes mouth, noticing the apple slices were disregarded. Fish and apples, Junhui committed it to memory, things the fox didn’t like. 

 

“I want to ask you something Wonwoo,” Junhui said, not missing the reaction of the fox to his name. He watched him yip a little and move closer, his crouch low to the ground and his eyes wide but free from fear. “I-I want to ask you if I can buy you and get you out of here. You could stay with me for a while and when you feel strong enough I’ll take you back where you came from. I’ll set you free.”

 

The fox widened his eyes as he took in what Junhui was saying. No one had ever asked his permission or opinion on anything ever. He wa taken, he was beaten, he was owned and sold and controlled. He was suspicious and skeptical without even knowing what those concepts were. But he’d head something that was irresistible and he couldn’t ignore its lure.

 

“I’ll set you free...”

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

 

“ _I’ll set you free...”_

 

The fox went over and over the words in his mind. No one had ever suggested freedom. It might be a ruse, a carefully constructed lie to win his trust, but why? Man didn’t need to win the trust of hybrid. They purchased them, owned them, used them as they wanted, discarded them if they didn’t. The man smelled of food and comfort, virility and security, and most of all he smelled of warm kindness. Wonwoo somehow knew he wouldn’t hurt him on purpose.

 

“You have to trust me though,” the man said as he eyed the fox crouched low to the ground. “I’m... kind of scared of you. If I take you home with me I can’t bear to see you wear that collar. But you have to promise you won’t hurt me.”

 

Wonwoo began to shake as he realised what the man was saying. This human was afraid of the skinny little fox, frightened of the stories of what his past had made him, afraid of being attacked in his own home. The fox cleared his throat and hoped it didn’t sound too much like a growl. “I’ve only ever hurt man in self defence,” he said as he tried to make himself seem smaller, somehow more submissive, his instinct driving him to cower to the beautiful smiling man.

 

He seemed happy with that answer and it was as if it was all he needed. “I’ll come back for you,” he said and held his hand out towards the vent. Wonwoo yipped a little as he eagerly scented the skin even thought he couldn’t nose at it. A part of him was skeptical and didn’t think the man was coming back. A bigger part of him was hopeful that this was his way out of this nightmare he was trapped in.

 

He gathered the balls of peanut butter the man had poked in though the vent and scurried inside his makeshift den. As he curled up and shivered he hoped this would be his last day stuck in this cold damp hell. 

 

 

 

“Two thousand,” she said, her face uncrackable, her stance stoic. “No way,” Minghao said as he scrolled his phone. “One at the most.” “The creature is a very rare and sought after exotic,” her lipsticked lips curled at the corners as she eyed the workers curiously. “And he’s been here for a year,” Minghao said gently. “Take it or leave it. You won’t get another offer this good.” Minghao was smart and thought with his head when Junhui only thought with his heart. Minghao knew that a fox hybrid was with up to ten thousand dollars but that was a top price for a top specimen. The fox hidden in the back of the pet store had a long record on his legally mandated disclosure report. 

 

“Disobedient, aggressive, untrainable....” Minghao read over the report. “It’s damaged. No one else wants it.” Junhui shuddered at the way they were talking about the ethereal grey fox that haunted his every thought. But he stood silent and let Minghao negotiate for him and before he knew it papers were being put in front of him. “You can collect it first thing tomorrow. I’ll have it ready for pickup by 10am. I’m only agreeing to this price on a strict no refund clause,” she said as she ticked boxes on the forms. “If you can’t handle him you’ll have to contact Hybrid Management and have him euthanised. He’s have it recorded on his microchip as well. If he escapes Hybrid Management will euthanise him on sight.”

 

Junhui shuddered but signed the papers and handed over his bank card. He took the pamphlets on hybrid regulations and followed Minghao out the door before breaking into a smile. “Thanks,” he threw an arm around Minghao and hugged the younger. “I want to say you’re welcome but I’m still not sure,” Minghao rolled his eyes. “Euthanise on sight? How are you going to free him?” “I’ll take him somewhere Hybrid Management will never find him,” Junhui smiled as he climbed into the van. It would be fine. He could manage this, he just knew it, and he felt lighter than air as they drove away.

 

 

The fox awakened to bright lights and loud noises. “It’s your lucky day,” the woman grinned at him from behind way too much red lipstick. “For some reason you’re been bought, lucky too, I was going to hand you over to Hybrid Management. Anyway this is your last chance. He can’t return you and if he can’t handle you they’ll put you in your grave.”

 

Wonwoo cowered in the back of his enclosure. No matter what he wouldn’t go willingly until he saw him. She said he’d been bought but he didn’t know who by. Nothing was certain in his short and painful life but hunger and pain and loneliness. But she was one step ahead of him. When she opened the door a man stepped in from behind her and the last thing Wonwoo saw as his world went black was a dreamlike vision of the food man’s kind and gentle eyes blinking at him. As he drifted away into a tranquilised abyss he hoped that when he woke this was all a nightmare he could finally be free from.

 

 

 

 

 

Junhui had barely slept. The transaction the day before had left him barely any savings and it was only on the way to pick up the fox that he realised he didn’t have anything. What did the hybrid need? He hated all the dandy pastel collars and food bowls and beds in the pet store. “What are you thinking about?” Minghao asked as he drove the van towards the mall. “Not much,” Junhui said as he stared out the window. “Just about how ill equipped I am to be a hybrid owner.” Minghao began to giggle in his endearing way that made him seem younger than his true age. “You’re only just realising this?” His eyes sparkled with mirth at his friends sudden and slow self awareness.

 

But Junhui just shrugged. “He doesn’t need all that pet store stuff anyway. He’s not a fucking animal even thought they treat him like one.” He felt it deep down. Even though he couldn’t predict the future, he didn’t know for sure that the fox wouldn’t hurt him, he was compelled to open his heart to him. 

 

He would open his heart, feed him and clothe him, provide him with warmth and shelter and time to regain his strength. And when the time was right he would ask Minghao to drive them deep into the remote forest and watch the fox run wild and beautiful and free.

 

He could think of nothing more beautiful or perfect than the fox escaping his prison of domestication.

 

 

 


	7. Pain relieved and uncertain threats assuaged and the promise of something better

 

He thought he was prepared but nothing could have prepared him. Junhui walked in to the pet store to find the smiling woman waiting for him with a plastic crate sealed shut. “Here’s your purchase. And here’s your receipt,” she said as she handed over the piece of paper. “I-is he okay?” Junhui stammered out as he approached the tiny plastic crate. It had wheels on the bottom and a handle at the front. It looked way too small to contain the fox who Junhui had guessed to be at least 5ft 4. “Of course,” she said with a curious look. “We had to sedate it for our own safety and yours. I suggest you get it home and secured before the sedation wears off. Here’s the trigger for the shock collar.” She handed the button and key over before she passed a cursory glance at an expensive looking watch and back up to Junhui’s face. “I think you have about an hour.”

Junhui began to shake and Minghao moved in closer. “Let’s just go,” he whispered furtively as he pushed Junhui towards the crate. Junhui snapped out of his fast forming rage and grabbed the handle at the front. It weighed barely nothing as Junhui dragged it on its tiny wheels away from the pet store and the awful woman forever. “What now?” Minghao asked as he helped Junhui push the crate into the back of the work van. “I guess you just take us home,” Junhui replied.

Minghao helped him again as they moved the crate inside Junhui’s home. They dragged it into the spare room sparsely furnished with a single bed and a bedside table. Junhui opened the locks and lifted the top of the crate free and gasped with shock. The fox was almost folded in half he was so crammed into the tiny plastic crate. “Help me get him out,” he said and grabbed him under the arms as Minghao lifted him behind the knees and they moved the featherweight creature to the bed.

 

“I think you should go,” Junhui said softly as he stared at the fox just starting to shift in his drug-induced sleep. “If this goes bad it’s on me. I don’t want you caught up in it.” Minghao was just about to argue when he saw the look in his friend’s eye and acquiesced. “Okay man,” he said patting Junhui on the shoulder. “If you die it was nice knowing you.” And Junhui found himself alone with the fox.

 

He sat on the edge of the bed and eyed the creature up close for the first time. His hair was almost as black as night and just as thick. It curled slightly on the ends where it was too long and it was obvious he had never had a real haircut before by the haphazard style it was worn in. His ears were grey with tufts of orange and black stipples around the base where fur blended in with hair seamlessly and they twitched every time Junhui moved. This was a creature who didn’t know relaxation, who was always aware, always on defence even when asleep. His eyes were sharply shaped and heavily lashed and his nose was fine and regal. He looked like he was crafted by the hands of a master artisan who’d been charged with making the perfect hybrid. Junhui’s eyes scanned his thin neck and prominent collarbones escaping the dirty smock. His arms were wiry and his hands, so fine and thin but veined in the most masculine way, his fingers so long and delicate. This creature, wildly beautiful and painfully skinny, was no doubt a man in his eyes more than anything else.

He couldn’t help but wrinkle his nose at the smell. He didn’t know when the fox had last had a bath but it was going to be the first thing he needed. Junhui got up to find something the fox could wear and suddenly worried all his clothes would be too big. He was so small and delicate that Junhui’s sweaters and track pants would probably drown him. It was only then that he considered the purpose of the smock. The fox’s long tail hung freely from the bottom, topped with grey and tipped with black, and Junhui wondered how you put pants on a hybrid. He shrugged as he decided to cross that bridge when he came to it and for the time being he went to his room and found some cosy old track pants that were well worn in and a t-shirt he hoped wouldn’t be too big.

When he poked his head back in the spare room, the fox hadn’t moved. So he went to the bathroom and began to run the water, as hot as he could stand it, finding shampoo and washcloths and a nice clean towel. He hoped human shampoo and soaps would be fine to use as he didn’t have any of the candy scented toiletries most liked to use on their pets. His lack of preparation suddenly sank into his mind but it wasn’t so worrying. He would make do with whatever he had.

He left the bath to fill and fetched some water before he went back in to check on the fox just in time to see his eyelids flutter and then open. “W-www” he began to stutter and Junhui stopped him. “Don’t try to talk. They drugged you,” he said as he picked up the bottle of water. “Drink,” he said softly as he held the bottle to the fox’s lips. It spilled and ran down his neck as he tried to drink but he was still hazy from the drugs in his system. But it was enough to wet his dry throat and tongue. 

 

“Where am I?” he asked as he sat up and tried to look around at the sparse and humble spare bedroom in Junhui’s tiny house. “Home. My home. Your home too until you’re strong enough,” Junhui said. He didn’t feel afraid. The fox was weak and submissive and drained. He didn’t seem like he would be able to hurt Junhui even if he tried. The memory of his strong jaw crunching chicken bones like chalk was fading into a world of soft skin and fuzzy ears as Junhui eyed the creature lying back down on the bed.

“I’m going to take this off,” Junhui said as he leaned over the weak fox’s prostrate form, “please don’t hurt me.” He turned the collar in his fingers and saw the scars and rubbed raw skin beneath it. It was heavy leather and plastic and looked painful enough to wear without the added shock from the electrodes implanted in the bottom. Junhui turned the little key in the lock and the collar popped open and the fox’s eyes widened in response. His hand flew up to his neck and rubbed at the sore skin as he tried to sit again. The collar was left behind, discarded on the bed, as Wonwoo itched and clawed at the wounds it had left behind. “Don’t,” Junhui said as he clutched the creature’s hands. “You’ll make it worse. I’ll put something on it after you have a bath and it will make it feel better. I promise.”

This was all so strange to the fox. Words that held meaning, words he didn’t understand, words he knew should make him feel something. Bath, better, promise. They didn’t make sense but they settled in his mind and gave him a warm feeling inside. The haze of his sedation was just clearing and he shrank his knees up to his chest as he revelled in the comfort of the collar being gone. “You need a bath,” the man said to him and, once again, he didn’t understand that word. But if the man wanted him to bath then he would bath. He would do anything the man wanted him to do. He reached out and grabbed for the man’s hand and nosed gently at it as he enjoyed the scent of his skin. He smelled of strong lemony soap and fresh food, not unlike the chicken he had brought that day, and kindness seeped from his skin. The fox felt a few little yips of happiness escape as he nosed the skin and curled his tail around himself.

“I won’t hurt you,” the fox said to the man as he looked up in his sweet caring eyes, “I promise.”


	8. The benefits of bathtime and other newly discovered sensations

 

 

 

Junhui led the fox to the bathroom and shut off the water. The tub was filled almost to the brim and he’d added some bodywash to make a kind of half hearted bubble bath. He loved citrus scented toiletries and hoped all of this was okay.

 

He looked to the fox but he wore only confusion on his regal face. “Do you know how to take a bath?” he asked gently. “Take it where?” The fox furrowed his brow and Junhui sighed. “How did you get clean before?” The fox thought as he processed what Junhui was asking him. “Hose,” he said with finality and a subconscious shiver of painful memory. “Okay, take your smock off and get in the water,” Junhui indicated the steaming tub, “wash your hair and when you’re done come out and I’ll give you clean clothes.”

 

The fox looked from the water back to Junhui with an indecipherable expression. He took a step towards the bath and his knees buckled a little as he suffered the sedatives after effects. “Did you understand any of what I said?” Junhui asked gently as he caught the stumbling fox by the arm and the hybrid shook his head. Junhui realised he was going to have to bathe him.

 

“Ok...” he said slowly as he grabbed the fox by the other arm and stared down at the cowering creature. “I’m going to have to help you.”

 

He let go and tugged at the hybrids filthy smock. He began to lift it up and the hybrid pulled away from him on wobbly legs with fear all over his face. “A-are you going to touch me?” He stuttered as he stumbled backwards and Junhui gasped in shock. “No! No, not at all, I’m just trying to get you washed. I’m not going to hurt you.” He pointed at the water and the hybrid seemed to understand. “Okay,” the fox whispered and Junhui moved closer again. 

 

“I’m going to lift this off. Please don’t be embarrassed. I’ll try not to look.” Junhui said as he clutched at the dirty fabric again. “I don’t really mind if you see me,” the fox whispered as he stared off in the distance with a glazed look in his eye. Junhui knew he’d go crazy if he wondered too much about what had been done to Wonwoo in the past.

 

He pulled the smock off and tossed it to the floor. The fox wore nothing else. He was naked and thin and so very dirty under the threadbare fabric and shivered a little at the sudden rush of cold. “Climb over,” Junhui said as he guided the fox into the bathtub and he couldn’t help but look as the fox swung an ungracious leg over and into the soapy water.

 

He hissed and clutched at Junhui’s arm when his leg landed in the water. “Too hot?” Junhui asked and the fox just shivered as goosebumps sprang up all over his skin and he swung his other leg over. His whole body disappeared into the orange scented water and finally the twisted tension left his face. “It’s so warm,” he said and closed his eyes and Junhui wanted to cry.

 

No one moved. Junhui crouched by the tub in silence as the fox sank deeper into the hot water and the fox seemed to drift away into dreamland. 

 

The heat of the water had seeped into his bones making him feel more alive than he had ever felt before. The last time he felt so warm and relaxed he was in a pile of wriggling bodies underground.

 

When he was shot with the dart and his world went black all he remembered was hope. He’d hoped to wake up to the beautiful face of the man who smelled of kindness and chicken and had been overjoyed when his wish came true. For the first time ever in his short hard life hope had prevailed.

And then something he’d never dared to hope for. He’d been relieved beyond words when the heavy collar was removed. It was a symbol of the separation between animal and man, owner and pet, master and slave. And no one had ever valued, or trusted, him enough to break down that wall. And Junhui had done it without question or reservation.

 

He’d been so confused about this whole ‘bath’ thing. The fox had rarely been washed, he’d been hosed down a few times in past homes, and before he’d been allowed into the hybrid store he’d endured the indignity of a flea and tick bath. He felt almost ashamed for thinking the man might try and touch him like the angry teenager had a year ago. But he meant what he said. He was used to being looked at. He saw no reason to hide his naked body. It was just skin and flesh and bone.

 

As long as he wasn’t touched in his soft places. The places where he was most vulnerable.

 

Wonwoo allowed himself the luxury of closed eyes as he experienced the calming sensation of warm water. He’d swum in the river when he was a kit but that was cold and exhilarating and this was warm and relaxing. He felt weak and dizzy and the water was cooling fast and then he felt something incredible. A sensation he’d never ever felt before.

 

“Keep your eyes closed,” Junhui whispered softly as he leaned over with a jug, “I’m going to wash your hair.” He poured the warm water over the hybrids head and let it run down his neck. He poured out some shampoo into his hand and began to rub it into the lacklustre dark locks now heavy with water. He let his fingers work hard at the hair, pulling grease and sweat and dirt from the strands, before he spoke again. “Is it okay to touch your ears very gently? Just to wash them?” His voice was tentative and the fox hesitated before nodding carefully.

 

Junhui let his fingers travel around the base of one ear before bringing it up to gently message the fur. His fingers were light, almost afraid of the sensation, and he was worried he might accidentally hurt the fox. But then he heard a soft whine of pleasure and let the other hand wander to work the other ear clean. As he gently massaged the tips of both ears he closed his eyes so he didn’t have to see the pleasure twisting the hybrids face. Having the naked and beautiful creature in front of him, writhing under his fingertips, it was all Junhui could do to not get aroused.

 

“I’m going to rinse,” he said and held a washcloth over the fox’s eyes as he poured clean water from the jug. The lather was brown and dirty as it ran into the bath water which was also turning an unsettling shade of mud.

 

Junhui knew bathtime was over and he wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing.

 

“Come on,” he said and held his hands out to the fox who took them and stood up. The water rushed away to reveal his whole body in all its naked glory and Junhui’s eyes washed over the whole vision in front of him. His shoulders were broad and his waist narrow enough to wrap hands around it. His skin was white and flawless until he turned a little and Junhui saw the shiny pink stripes of scar tissue down the whole length of his back. Emotions caught in his chest at the sight and he wondered if the fox would ever spill his secrets and talk about it.

 

His eyes moved on quickly to take in the sight of thin legs, soft white thighs and the smooth slight curve of his ass. Arousal mixed with guilt as Junhui admired the sensuality of the wet naked hybrid clutching at his arms. His eyes followed the trail of black hair from below his bellybutton down even further where it tangled around the top of the fox’s cock hanging limp between his legs.

 

But more than the distraction of his naked body was the shock when he helped him out. Junhui helped the fox to climb out of the bathtub and when he stepped onto the bathmat he turned to grab the towel. When he turned back he almost staggered at the sight of the hybrid eye to eye. Junhui was an even six foot and the hybrid, clean and relaxed, and free from his shock collar had pulled himself up to his full height. He stood a perfect match for the man’s height as they stared at each other’s faces inches away from each other.

 


	9. sorry, status, social order and sexuality. and sincerity.

 

 

The tshirt had been a perfect fit. The pants were as well once Junhui took to them with a sharp pair of scissors and made a hole for the brush of Wonwoo’s tail to escape. His hair was drying into a mess of tangled black waves and Junhui wanted to brush it. But, as always, first he had to ask.

 

“C-can I dry and brush your hair?” He asked nervously as Wonwoo stood in the middle of the spare bedroom. “Why are you asking me?” The fox furrowed his brow but he nodded agreement as he turned to stare at the man. He didn’t understand. Even though the man was kind and gentle he was still a man and the fox was a hybrid. The social order and status had assigned them the roles of master and slave, owner and pet, man and animal. He didn’t have the right to refuse. He knew that. It had been instilled in him along with the stripes of pain from the leather belt to his back, the scars around his neck, the starvation that racked his body.

 

Suddenly worried at asking the question the fox cowered towards the man. He shrank and whined a little and tried to make himself seem smaller and weaker. Submission was a survival tactic he’d learned far too late. But Junhui just took his hand and led him out and into his own bedroom. 

 

Wonwoo felt whole body tremble as he entered the man’s most private sanctuary. Everything in here smelled like Junhui, he could smell his sweat and skin on the sheets of the bed, his exhaled breath in the air. Every dream of lust and homesickness and happiness and longing lingered in the atmosphere making the hybrid overwhelmed. Junhui radiated grace and strength and fertility and beauty and Wonwoo couldn’t help but react to it. 

 

 

Junhui sat on the bed and pulled the fox close to sit on the floor between his legs. “This will be noisy but it won’t hurt. Okay?” Again with the asking. It was so foreign to Wonwoo but it gave him a sense of security he’d never had before. If Junhui said it wouldn’t hurt then it wouldn’t hurt.

 

Was this how the concept of trust was formed? An unspoken agreement that no matter what happened the truth would be told and the actions would match the words? A natural inclination drawing souls together, comforted in unison, instincts driving them to be gentle and careful with each other?

 

Wonwoo didn’t know. But he didn’t know how else to explain the warm feeling fluttering in his achingly empty stomach.

 

 

He settled comfortably and leaned back as Junhui began to carefully brush his hair. He tackled a section at a time, gently pulling the brush through the matts and tangles, diligently avoiding his sensitive ears. As he relaxed into the feeling he began to enjoy it so much. No one had ever groomed him before and he began to understand why some hybrids liked to be owned. To be petted and coddled and fussed. But he didn’t know how long it would last. It wouldn’t be forever. Wonwoo wanted to be free.

 

When Junhui turned the hairdryer on Wonwoo jumped a little. His nerves were skittish but Junhui had assured him it wouldn’t hurt and it didn’t. The warm air caressed his scalp as Junhui’s fingers carded through the long strands, pulling gently, rubbing the base and tips of his ears. It felt wonderful and Wonwoo felt a stirring inside him he’d never felt before.

 

He’d not yet experienced his heat. He was still young but he should have matured by now. It was probably delayed by his lack of nutrition combined with his low body fat, and the constant stress of captivity, and in his eyes it had been nothing but a blessing. He didn’t want to mature and feel the urges pulling him towards things his mind didn’t want. He wasn’t ready for his brain and body to be in conflict.

 

But as he sat between Junhui’s thighs, the scent of the man all around him, and pleasure rippling though his scalp he felt a warmth pool below his bellybutton that he’d never felt before.  A soft whine escaped his lips and Junhui stopped. “Am I hurting you?” he asked and Wonwoo shook his head. “No, it feels really nice, I’ve never been groomed before.”

 

Finally clean and dressed and dry it was time to look around. “This is your home, you can do whatever you want.” Junhui showed Wonwoo the couch where he could sit or lie down. He showed him the kitchen and how to get water from the tap. “You can have this cup,” he smiled and pulled a tall acrylic cup from the cupboard with pink roses printed on the sides. Wonwoo watched Junhui get a gold marker out of a drawer and write ‘Wonwoo’s’ around the side in beautifully cursive script between the pink petals and verdant winding stems. 

 

“My own?” Wonwoo couldn’t believe it. He’d never owned anything before besides the smock and the shock collar. He grabbed it and turned it between his long fingers, examining and admiring every inch of it, before turning the tap and filling it up. He sipped at the cool liquid and then smiled at Junhui who felt his heart flutter inside his chest. 

 

The water threatened to come back up and he gagged a little. “Are you okay?” Junhui looked panicked but Wonwoo just shrugged. “Always happens. When I’m hungry and I have no food I drink too much water.” Junhui immediately began to shake. “I’m so sorry,” he said as huge slow tears began to drip down his smooth cheeks. He turned away from the fox in shame as he began to search the fridge for food. He knew he was starving and he’d put him through the bath and brushing before feeding the poor creature.

 

“I’m so sorry,” tears rolled down his cheeks as he grabbed chicken from the fridge. “I’m so bad at this, I’m a horrible person, I just wasn’t thinking....” His sudden outburst of shame and sadness hung thick in the air making the fox afraid. In just a few days the man had become his rock and he relied on him so much already. He had made him upset and he crouched low as he approached him to try and make it right. “I’m sorry,” the fox whispered as he nosed at the man’s neck before he bit gently at his jawline. 

 

“Don’t be...” Junhui said but he stood still and let the hybrid bite gently at his jaw. He overreacted but the strangely animalistic apology from the fox was too wonderful to pass up on. He let him nose at his neck and taste the tears from his jaw before clutching at his shoulders with a smile. “Enough,” he said with a wry smile. “It’s not your fault. I was just mad at myself.” 

 

 

As midnight eyes drew him in deep in their gratitude and sincerity Junhui suddenly felt afraid. Not of the fox, despite his raw animal nature, but of himself. He was falling deeper into feelings he knew he shouldn’t have. He’d promised him his freedom and he was going to have to let him go.


	10. Sunshine and servitude and soil and the intricacies of the soul

 

 

 

_Happy Junhui Day_

_to the moonlight illuminating the sable night sky of my soul_

_thank you for being born and being you_

 

 

The fox watched the man intently as he moved around the kitchen. Smells began to fill the room and saliva began to run from his lips. He could smell meat and root and leaf and something sweet he thought he knew but couldn’t pin down. 

 

He sat cross legged in the corner and let the warmth and the sensations fill his starved senses. He began to whine as he got more and more excited and his brushy tail curled up in excitement. “Here,” Junhui finally turned around with two plates in his hands and put them on the small round table. 

 

The fox stared from his place on the floor. Hybrids ate on the floor. They didn’t eat seated at tables with man beside them. He knew his place and he waited as patiently he could with saliva pouring from his jaws. Junhui stared at him before pulling the other chair out. “Come on,” he said as he indicated the place at the table but the fox shook with fear. He didn’t dare.

 

Junhui read the terror in his eyes and floundered for a second. He was so bad at this. He looked at the starving fox on the floor and back to the carefully crafted late lunch, before sighing with resignation. “Fine,” he said and put the plate on the floor in front of the fox. But the hybrids eyes widened as Junhui grabbed his own and sat cross legged opposite him on the floor.

 

“Eat,” he said and the fox recovered his senses enough to take in the meal. Strips of tender looking beef and slices of carrot and onions and cabbage swum in a thick dark sauce. There was rice on the side and a pair of chopsticks resting on the plate. Junhui was proud of his cooking and lifted a slice of beef to his lips as he watched the fox hesitate. 

 

“You can use your hands,” Junhui said gently and he saw the fox relax. The ecstasy on his face as he sucked the honey and soy sauce from a strip of beef made Junhui feel an increasingly familiar stirring again. He was so beautiful, so pale and fragile, but strong. Stronger than he realised. He had to be, to have endured what he’d been through, and to still be able to learn and listen and trust. He could feel a trust forming between them already and it felt wonderfully warm in Junhui’s stomach.

 

 

Junhui ate his meal slowly as he watched the fox do the same. “There’s more,” he said as he watched him smell each morsel of food before chewing it slowly, “I just didn’t want you to get sick.” “What’s this?” The Hybrid asked as the meat and vegetables disappeared leaving only the pile of white rice behind. “Rice,” Junhui said. “Can you eat rice?” Wonwoo shrugged and took a bite before pushing the plate away. “I’m sorry,” he said as he cowered again and Junhui grabbed the plate. “It’s okay to not like it.” 

 

He removed the plates and scraped the mess into the bins. Wonwoo immediately jumped up as his past came rushing back. “T-the hybrid cleans...” he stuttered as he tried to move quicker to start cleaning the kitchen and Junhui gripped the plates tighter. “No way. You don’t work for me Wonwoo.” At the sound of his name the fox stilled and stopped. Junhui put the dirty plates into the sink and the leftover food into the fridge. “You can help me later. I thought you might want to go outside.”

 

 

_Outside..._

 

 

The fox yipped and whined as he spun in a circle. His brushy tail flailed behind him as he cowered towards the man in front of him. Please... his eyes begged as he nipped at Junhui’s chin again and the man giggled this time and gently pushed him away. “Okay okay!” He had to laugh at the hybrids immediate excitement as he took his hand and led him to the door that led to the backyard.

 

“Now I’m not going to lock you in. You can go outside whenever you want but I can only keep you safe if you stay in the yard. Okay?” Junhui opened the door and the fox was gone like a shot.

 

The humble two bedroom was old and, like so many of the little turn of the century cottages in the area, blessed with a block of land way too big. A huge expanse of grass filled most of the yard. Healthy rains meant the lawn was lush and green and the earth heavy and rich. Junhui wasn’t much of a gardener but he had some herbs in pots and had managed to keep the flowers in the flowerbeds alive. A patch of flowering clover was taking over the middle of the lawn and that was where Junhui found the fox. 

 

 

He was on his back, wriggling, whining to himself in joy. The white tshirt Junhui had given him was covered in grass stains and his hair was dotted with blades of grass. Junhui stood back and let the hybrid have a moment of peaceful privacy as he watched him sit up and shake his head, ears flopping freely, grass sprinkling from his thick dark locks. He watched the fox sniff at the clover and then dart over to the flowerbed sniffing each plant over there in turn. Junhui smiled as a deep inhale by a lavender bush made the fox sneeze and he looked so cute. “Achoo...” he sneezed again as he climbed up into the flowerbed and dug into the rich loamy earth with his bare hands.

 

Tears filled his eyes and he suddenly had to turn away. Junhui was confronted with the image of a baby, a kit stolen from his childhood, a creature who had almost forgotten the simple pleasures in life. They had all been ripped away from him so unfairly. And yet he was wonderful, Junhui could feel the warmth in his heart, the gentleness and joy hidden inside the hybrids soul. Locked inside, ready to break out, just waiting for the key.

 

He went inside and found a picnic rug and a book and collected the container of strawberries and watermelon he’d already cut. When he walked back outside the fox was sniffing the base of every tree lining the back fence line and he sighed with relief. He hadn’t run away.

 

He stretched the rug out and lay down in the sun with his book discarded by his side. He closed his eyes and when he opened them the fox was looking down on him. “Having fun?” Junhui said as he blocked the sun from his eyes and Wonwoo nodded and smiled widely. Afternoon sun surrounded him from behind giving him an unearthly glowing halo and Junhui weakened a little at how beautiful he looked. 

 

“You need another bath now,” he said at the sight of the dirty fox and Wonwoo just nodded. “I like bath,” he said and his nose tested the air. Junhui read his mind and opened the container. “Have some fruit,” he said and rolled into his side so he could watch the fox enjoy the sweet treat. Fruit juice ran down his chin as he filled his belly again and Junhui was pleased to see the food and the sun had greatly improved his constitution. His pale cheeks glowed pink from the sun and the activity and his eyes sparkled at the taste of the watermelon.

 

Food, sun, sleep. All the things the fox needed to grow strong and healthy enough to be free. Junhui could provide all those things. There was something else he needed too, something he’d been lacking, and as the fox whined and rubbed his dirty face against Junhui’s shoulder he knew he could provide this too.

 

Love. The little fox needed to be loved.

 

“Can we nap?” The fox asked carefully and Junhui nodded. He shifted on the rug and made room for the fox to curl his body up beside him as they relaxed and enjoyed the late afternoon sun.


	11. There’s nothing like a place of your own

 

 

_This wasn’t going to work._

 

He’d helped him take another bath and this time, after the revitalising sun and fresh air, the fox looked truly clean. He’d dressed him in a pair of his own pyjamas, a hole cut in the back, and sat with him on the floor while they ate dinner. 

 

After dinner Junhui had closed the house to the dark night and let the fox help him wash the dishes. The way he’d yawned made Junhui melt, he was just so cute, and he’d insisted the fox go to bed. He could see how tired the day had made him.

 

But now he had a new problem. When he’d directed the fox to bed he’d immediately scuttled underneath the tiny single bed in the spare room. “What are you doing?” Junhui said curiously as he leaned down and saw molten amber eyes glowing from the dusty darkness.

 

“Achoo...” the fox sneezed. “Come out from under there,” Junhui admonished gently and the fox crawled out. When Junhui watched him pull the comforter from the bed and try to drape it over the little bedside cupboard he finally clicked. _Den_. The fox needed to sleep in a den.

 

 

 

“Hey Hao,” he said brightly into the phone even though it was Saturday night and he knew Minghao was probably getting ready to go clubbing. “You didn’t die!” Minghao laughed into the phone. “What’s up?” “Remember last year when we went camping on the beach and slept in that little dome tent? Do you still have it?” Minghao groaned on the other end but he hadn’t started pre drinks yet.

 

Twenty minutes later the van pulled up in the driveway and Junhui opened the front door. “You owe me. Again.” Minghao scowled from under the heavy layer of eyeliner he was already wearing as he helped Junhui carry the tent into the house and into the spare room. The fox had hidden himself behind the couch at the sight of the other Chinese boy who was almost unrecognisable in his sparkly mesh shirt and many layers of jewellery.

 

“Can you help me move the bed now?” Junhui asked as they dropped the tent onto the floor and Minghao rolled his eyes so far into the back of his head Junhui thought they might fall out. But he helped him carry the single bed out through the back door as they left it on the little paved area that could hardly be called a patio.

 

“Thanks man. I really do owe you,” Junhui said and Minghao smiled. “Yeah, you do,” he said and leaned in for a hug. A low growl from behind the couch scared the shit out of them and Minghao jumped back. “He really fucking hates me,” Minghao eyed the fox warily as he peeped over the back of the couch. “Maybe he just hates that shirt,” Junhui joked as he pushed his friend towards the door.

 

The fox stayed hidden until Minghao was gone. He’d grown comfortable quickly with Junhui’s gentle presence but he was still afraid of the world outside the two of them. He hid behind the couch as he watched Junhui drag the bedside table into the corner of the little room and unzip the long blue bag they’d carried in from the van.

 

His eyes watched intently as Junhui pulled out the flexible poles and quickly set the dome tent up inside the bedroom. He crept closer until he was almost in the doorway watching on as the man unzipped the entrance and began to toss the sheets and blankets and comforter and pillow from the bed inside the little blue tent.

 

“What do you think?” Junhui asked nervously as he stood back and let the little fox into the room. The doorway of the tent was almost in the doorway of the bedroom. The entrance was zipped back and Wonwoo crawled towards it, submissive, tentative and careful. 

 

Yips of joy escaped his throat as he scratched around in the soft bedding. His very own den, so closed in and warm, dry and filled with the most lovely things for him to curl up in. He scratched and kicked at the bedding, turning around in circles, pushing the pillow to the side and piling the comforter into the middle.

 

“I like this den,” the fox said as his eyes sparkled in the darkness. He held his hand out for Junhui’s and gently nosed at the skin when the man reached into the den.

 

He didn’t go inside. 

 

After everything he’d been through the fox deserved a little privacy. A safe space all his own where no one would intrude and where he could hide himself away and relax.

 

Junhui went into the kitchen, filled two cups with water, leaving the rose patterned one outside the tent. “I left the light on for you,” Junhui said as he crouched by the door. “Good night little fox.”

 

And the fox curled his brushy tail around his body as he drifted away into dreamland. He dreamed of snuffly noses, of running wild and free by the river, of bird and den and sweetly tart fruit. 

 

He dreamed of the smell that used to frighten him so much, that used to awaken agitation and anger in his mind, the smell which now meant food and warmth and comfort.

 

The smell of man. One man.

 

The scent of Junhui.

 

 

 

It had taken a long time for Junhui to fall asleep. His ears had strained in the silence listening for anything to indicate the fox was scared, lonely, or – worst case scenario – escaping the house. But nothing was audible and eventually tiredness overtook anxiety and he drifted away into a fitful sleep.

 

When he opened his eyes he laid on the bed and listened. He could hear nothing. A heavy silence, no rustling or movement, no TV or kettle or microwave oven. Nothing but the chirping of birds outside his window. He got up, stretched, and went immediately to the spare room. He had to stop thinking of it that way. It was Wonwoo’s room now, his own den, and he would have to help him make it his own.

 

He saw the rose patterned cup still outside the tent and he sat cross-legged in front of the door. “Wonwoo,” he called out softly, “are you awake?” There was movement and the flap covering the door was pulled back carefully. “How long have you been awake?” he asked and the fox shook his head and shrugged. “I wake with the sun,” he whispered and Junhui turned around to look at the clock on the wall. It was 9am.

 

“Why didn’t you come out?” Junhui asked as he held a hand out and the fox nosed at it gently. “I was waiting for you to say I could,” the fox’s voice was dry and deep as his cold nose trailed across the back of Junhui’s hand. The memory of chicken bones crunching into shards was long buried below this soft feeling of a bond forming between man and fox.

 

“Here,” Junhui said as he passed the cup into the tent, “you must be thirsty. I left your cup out here in case you wanted water in the night.” Wonwoo’s eyes blinked in the dimly lit tent as he took the water and sipped at it. He had barely remembered his mother, his home, his family. However, the warm memories of feeling cared for came flooding back with the early morning light.


	12. Left alone

 

 

“So you still didn’t die,” Minghao smiled at his friend as he climbed into the work van. “No but you look like you might,” Junhui smirked at the remnants of Minghao’s eyeliner still circling his eyes. Minghao had often tried to get Junhui to come clubbing with him but he’d always refused. Minghao’s nights out frequently became mornings out which turned into afternoons waking up in a stranger’s bed and hangovers which lasted longer than his relationships.

They drove towards the school in silence. Junhui’s thoughts were miles away. He’d left the back door unlocked and food out on the bench. The hybrid who now shared his home wouldn’t move, eat or speak without some kind of permission. Far from being the aggressive and nasty creature, he’d been portrayed as. He was sweet, gentle and careful beyond reproach. Junhui had spent the entire day before teaching him how to get himself water, how to turn on the TV, even how to brush his own teeth. The fact that he didn’t seem to have any tooth decay was only due to his limited diet. Junhui was sure of that sad fact.

He hoped the fox would manage alone during the day. He really had no other option. He had cancelled his morning run with Soonyoung but he couldn’t cancel work. He had to work to live and there was no way he could take time off now he’d blown most of his savings on the little fox’s freedom. He’d told him not to open the door to anyone and he was sure the fox would comply. He was afraid of his own shadow so the chances of him opening the door to a stranger were minimal at most. His biggest worry was that he would come home to find he had already run away. Hybrid Management would catch him if he was out on the loose within the city limits and he wasn’t strong enough yet to live without help.

Junhui wondered if he would even survive after he regained his strength. The realisation washed over him that he was taken so young and never had a chance to learn how to hunt and forage, how to dig his own den and escape from predators, how to find a mate. How would he learn? Maybe his instinct would be enough to survive. He was inexperienced but smart, Junhui knew that for sure, and his ability to learn was incredible.

“You’re quiet,” Minghao said as he turned the van off the highway and towards the school they’d been scheduled for. Minghao’s company had secured a big government contract and it meant work and income for a year without having to chase outside businesses. No more pet stores to both their relief. They’d be laying cables in schools all over the city on a tight schedule for the next twelve months. If all went well Minghao would be moved into the corporate headquarters to start learning the business side and Junhui might be able to move up to supervisor. If he could learn the technical side of things.

“I was just thinking…” he trailed off as soft fur filled his mind. “You seem to be doing a lot of that lately. So how is it going anyway?” “It’s going so well. He’s not at all like I thought he would be. He’s so cute. I feel awful but I can really see the appeal now. You know, why people have them, he’s really just wonderful,” Junhui’s eyes sparkled with excitement when he spoke of the hybrid. He’d never thought of himself as a lonely person. He had Minghao during the week and whenever he needed him for company, he had Soonyoung for runs in the morning and weekend lunches at this weird vegan restaurant he liked, and he had his family just a phone call away. But now he had something to share his little home, to share meals cross legged on the floor, and Sunday afternoons on a picnic rug in the sun. It was comforting.

“You can’t keep him,” Minghao said as he parked the van. He could see the look on Junhui’s face and he could smell trouble a mile away. This was what had worried him all along. “You’ve promised him his freedom and he’s a wild animal Jun-Ge. You have to keep your promise.” Junhui nodded. He knew. He knew if he even mentioned the idea of the fox staying cooped up forever it was just throwing him inside another cage. He knew the fox would either flight, running off into the city to the mercy of Hybrid Management, or fight straight back into the shock collar or worse. He couldn’t call Hybrid Management on him himself. He couldn’t be responsible for the hybrid’s destruction.

“When he leaves I think I might get a cat,’ Junhui said as he began to drag the roll of blue cabling into the office of the school. He’d never considered getting a pet before but now he didn’t know if he could go home to an empty house. It felt so warm and full with companionship.

By the time Minghao dropped Junhui off out the front of his ramshackle cottage it was almost dark. The sun had already began to drop behind the horizon throwing gold and pink and purple across the sky as far as he could see with the last warm rays fighting the cold approach of night. He unlocked the front door and listened but all he could hear was silence.

He tossed his backpack onto the floor and strained his ears but there was nothing to register. Not even shuffling or movement or a lightly whispered breath.

“Wonwoo?’ he called out to no response. He wasn’t inside the den or on the couch and Junhui couldn’t find him in the bathroom or the kitchen. A cold dread filled Junhui from his head to his toes as he began to worry about where he was. He searched the whole house before going out to the backyard and scanning the expanse of grass. He couldn’t see him anywhere.

He couldn’t have escaped. Surely he knew he wasn’t strong enough, it was too dangerous, he wouldn’t survive. But just as he became frantic Junhui stepped out of the door and onto the patio and that’s where he found him. Curled up on the bed he’d moved outside with Minghao, the last rays of the sun dappling across his face, his eyes closed as he napped peacefully with his brush curled around him.

Breathtaking.

He was so unearthly beautiful. His hair, still too long, was now shiny from brushing and sat like a fluffy halo with his soft grey ears nestled into it. His skin had a colour to it that was fresh and warm from the sun. His body, so long and lean, was curled up impossibly small on the bare mattress. Junhui didn’t want to disturb him but he would get cold when the sun dropped.

“Wonwoo,” he whispered and the fox flinched and opened his eyes with a start. When he saw it was Junhui sitting beside him he sat up and whined a little and nuzzled Junhui’s chin with his nose before mouthing at the man’s jaw and chin. “Hungry?” Junhui asked as the fox nodded enthusiastically making his ears flop a little on the tips. Junhui had only had him for thirty-six hours but he’d already mastered the basics of the fox’s little non verbal language.

“Come on,” he said as he sat up and held his hand out. “Let’s go inside before you get cold.”


	13. Windows into the past and doors opening into the future

 

 

The fox didn’t know how to feel most of the time. His emotions were churning inside him constantly as his brain fought hard against the need to unlearn everything he’d learned about humans in the past.

When he’d seen the heavy shock collar go outside into the bin he couldn’t believe it was true. The symbol of his fight, his oppression and his anger, the rift between himself and humanity gone just like that. With an offering of trust and a click of a key, the collar was gone.

He’d been so confused by the term ‘bath’ and any connection it had to how he’d been cleaned in the past. The only home he’d stayed in long enough to warrant cleaning was the home where the middle-aged couple, rich and lazy and mean, had all the money in the world and beat him over an apple. The fox had only ever had two experiences of washing and grooming and they were both as bad as each other.

 •••

_He was tired. He was tired of the cage and the starvation, the casual beatings and the horrors he’d seen, he was sick of the hybrid dealership and the cold damp shed. When he’d been given a pile of straw in the garage of the mansion it had been the best thing he’d had in a long time. The pittance of food and the indignity of the smock were welcomed by the sad little fox who was just absolutely exhausted. He decided this time he was going to submit. He was going to give it a try._

_He quickly learned to clean and carry, wash and fold, the days were long but no one tried to touch him and that was all that mattered. He still hadn’t had a heat even though he’d been expecting it for months. He wondered if he was normal with no reference as to what that meant for him. He lay awake at night wondering if his brothers and sisters were running free in the forest, finding mates and living their lives, their bellies full of rodent and rabbit and bird and their dens full of warmth and kits._

_“It stinks,” she wrinkled her nose as she looked down it at the frightened fox. He didn’t meet her gaze. The next thing he knew he was chained to a tree in the backyard while the maid sprayed him down with cold water from a garden hose. Smock and all. She sprayed him from top to toe, his hair and his face and his tail, and left him to shiver in the sun to dry. It was awful._

_Three days later his stomach was rumbling and a craving for something sweet and tart filled his mouth. He knew it was his body willing itself towards the essential nutrients missing from his diet. The dry kibble wasn’t enough and it made him want to cry every night when it was his job to empty the bins from the kitchen into the big bin outside and he saw bird and bone and green leafy delights going to waste while his stomach grumbled for relief._

_There were so many in the bowl. No way would they notice._

_The tart taste was heaven as the juices ran down his chin. The sharp sting of the belt across his back made him want to die. But he didn’t die. His instinct fought for survival but he couldn’t fight against a grown human man. He didn’t have the strength in his starved body or shattered mind._

_He woke up the next day, shock collared and dazed, no idea how he came to be in the pet store’s loading area. The woman in charge wrinkled her nose at him and an employee grabbed him by the arms and dragged him over to a low metal trough. “Don’t even try to fight me,” the man sneered under his breath, “I won’t hesitate to test that collar out.”_

_The acrid stink of chemicals invaded the nose of the sensitive fox. It was overpowering and made him feel sick. He didn’t want it. He struggled but the man pressed the dreaded button and the fox knew it was coming for a brief moment before it hit him full force. His back arched as his jaw clenched and the electricity burned through his body. It only lasted for a second or two but it served its purpose. He was exhausted. He collapsed into a pile of barely coherent skin and bone and the man tossed him into the cold water. It was milky and stung his eyes and his nose, it invaded his ears and his mouth, it burned every sensitive part of his body._

_He was blown dry with a cold fan and given a clean smock and this was how he remained until the day his life changed._

 •••

And now he was clean and warm and dry all the time. His belly was full of whatever it needed. He was still too scared to touch the food that wasn’t specifically left out for him. But every morning the man named Junhui took a little pink plastic plate with a cartoon bunny on it and filled it with food and left it out on the counter. Wonwoo knew that was his plate. Junhui had written his name on the back with a gold marker. He also had his own cup, it was pretty with flowers and also had his name, and it was Wonwoo’s favourite thing in the world. He loved the cup because he loved flowers.

He loved the cup because Junhui gave it to him and it was the first thing he’d ever owned. The first thing someone gave him and told him it was his to own and keep.

Now he had plate and cup, den and bedding, and he even had pants. As Junhui continued to cut holes in the back of his own clothes he chuckled every time and said ‘I guess this is yours now,’ with soft eyes that told the fox he didn’t really mind. And the fox didn’t either.

He didn’t mind Junhui’s kind eyes or gentle hands on him when he helped him bathe every night. He had come to enjoy the fingers working lather into his hair as Junhui made sure his hair and ears were washed. He didn’t even mind his ears being carefully and gently cleaned, their sensitive skin and cartilage twitching under Junhui’s soft touches, and soon he realised he enjoyed it.

He never imagined he would long all day for the voice of the human, that he would make sure to roll himself in the backyard so he was definitely dirty when the man came home from ‘work’ (whatever that was), that he couldn’t wait for the warm water to surround his body when the sun went down.

The man was so aware and so careful of physical affection. He had an idea of Wonwoo’s painful past and definitely didn’t want to upset him. And for the first few days, the fox was grateful. No one would touch him here, no one would pull harshly at his sensitive ears or the soft bones of his brush, no one would try to get at the delicate place between his legs where he didn’t want to be touched. But soon enough fear gave way to trust and vitriol was replaced with warm affection. And the fox began to wonder what it would feel like to snuggle against the man’s chest, to lose himself in his virile scent, to enjoy the sensuality of skin on skin in a warm safe embrace. He wondered what it would feel like to give in to his instinct.

 

His instinct that was driving him closer towards Junhui every day. He just didn’t understand it yet.

 


	14. The stakes rise and the steaks are eaten in silence

 

 

Wonwoo enjoyed the days alone at first. He filled them with solitude in the garden, relearning what it felt like to sleep in the sun, to scent his territory, to chase bird and rodent and even a few errant bugs. His favourite thing to do was to hide in the flowerbed and dig his fingers into the damp rich earth until the soil and pollen made him sneeze. He didn’t even know what he was hiding from but hiding was fun. It just felt good. He hid in the flowers, he hid in the tree, he hid under the rainwater tank and behind the fence and inside his den and behind the couch. Wonwoo loved to hide and there were so many wonderful hiding places here in his new home.

 

He discovered the television when it rained one afternoon. Junhui had told him he could touch whatever he wanted but he was still nervous. He had turned over book after book in his fingers, being careful to put them back exactly where he found them, but if they didn’t have pictures then they were no good to him. The fox couldn’t read. But in a fit of boredom, trapped inside the warmth of the house by a greying sky, he pressed the big red button that Junhui had showed him on the remote control and spent the whole day on the couch watching nature documentaries.

After almost a week of being alone during the day he realised he missed Junhui. That he began to crave for his company, to hunger for his voice as he called out a greeting, to covet the moment when the man would come home to share food with him and then fill the bath full of warm water. He had no sense of time or how to read a clock but he could read the sun and he knew when it dipped below a certain point he could get excited that Junhui was almost home.

He didn’t know what ‘work’ meant or where Junhui went all day. It had a vague connection in his mind with his mother leaving and coming back with food for him and his siblings. Junhui came back every day with food but smelling like that other man that the fox didn’t like. He was suspicious of the man called Minghao. There was too much of his smell around Junhui all the time and he had a laughing, mocking undertone in his voice which made the fox nervous.

It was ‘Friday’ today which, according to Junhui’s constant chatter, was the best night of the week. There would be no ‘work’ tomorrow and they would have two whole days to themselves to lay in the sun and enjoy the quiet. It sounded like heaven. Wonwoo ran to the back door and checked the sky, excitement building in his stomach, his chest fluttering with anticipation. The sun had dropped just enough for it to be time.

He circled near the front door a few times and a whine of joy slipped free from his throat as he heard the now-familiar sound of the work van pull up in the driveway. He could sense the footsteps of Junhui in his heavy work boots coming towards the front door and suddenly it was open. He was here. His scent filled the entrance and the fox whined again and leaped towards the man in excitement, nosing at his neck, biting gently at his chin and jaw. “Hey,” the man admonished him gently, his voice chiding but soft, as he pushed the fox down a little. And then he saw him.

_Him..._

The other man, the one who lingered his scent all over Junhui, the one who took him away every day to this ‘work’. The one who frightened Wonwoo for reasons he didn’t even fully understand yet.

 

The fox barked sharply and vanished into his den. He scratched around inside the den, tossing his pillow and blanket to the side before burying himself underneath them. He blinked through a gap in the pile when he saw the door of the tent pull back and Junhui’s face appeared with a frown.

 

Junhui had a feeling this was going to happen but he wanted them to know each other. Minghao was his best friend and he wanted to prove to him how absolutely lovely the fox was now he was clean and fed and comfortable.

 

“Come out,” he said softly as he held out his hand. “Minghao won’t hurt you. I promise.” He let the fox crawl towards him and nose at the skin of his hand, nuzzling gently at his fingers, the exchange of hot breath and warm scent making Junhui feel strange. “I asked him here to have dinner with us,” he said gently and calmly, “so you can see that he’s nice.”

 

“You can trust me.”

 

_Trust_...

 

Wonwoo did trust Junhui. Despite the past traumas he’d been subject to he had already developed a fragile trust for the man who smelled of comfort and kindness. If Junhui said it was okay then it must be okay.

 

He moved slowly to the front of the tent and then came out. He was dressed in a pair of Junhui’s tracksuit pants, black with a hole cut into the back, and a black tshirt which hung too loose around his neck. His tail swung free, fluffy and shiny from all the bathing, and his ears were flattened against his hair in submission.

 

“I’m scared,” he whispered to Junhui. The man didn’t dismiss his fear. He knew that to him Minghao was a friend but to the fox he was a stranger intruding on his territory. “It will be fine,” he said and held his hand out again. This time the fox didn’t nose at it. He clutched it tightly with his own as they walked back out into the living area.

 

“This is Minghao,” Junhui said gently as the fox hid behind his back. “He won’t hurt you. And look, I’ve brought something special, a real treat!” Junhui proudly held up the tray with three big T-bone steaks and Wonwoo’s eyes flashed with excitement.

 

 

 

Minghao sat back on the dining chair and watched on. The dynamic was odd and he felt uneasy as he observed them together. They had been together for a week and they already operated in a strange kind of symbiosis, a dance of expressions and gestures, a series of non verbal cues. Minghao was not just an observer he was an intruder in their silent relationship.

 

Every step Junhui took was shadowed by the fox. As he moved around the kitchen and the house Wonwoo stalked him, followed him, whining every now and then for attention which the man willingly gave. And when the steaks were fried to perfection, medium rare and tender, and put onto plates the fox was almost hysterical. He whined and cowered, he licked and bit at Junhui’s chin and jaw, he nosed excitedly at Junhui’s neck and cling to his clothes as the man tried to carry the plates. Junhui giggled and his eyes sparkled as the fox lavished attention on him and Minghao had to look away. It felt too intimate. Like he was intruding on a private moment.

 

 

To Minghao’s curiosity Junhui carried the plates into the living room. “Steaks on the couch?” he asked quietly but Junhui looked over at the fox settling himself on the floor and smiled. “Yeah he won’t sit at the table. He’s too scared.” It seemed like enough explanation and Minghao accepted it. He picked up a knife and fork and pulled the coffee table closer so he could cut his steak. Junhui sat beside him and the fox whined in excitement at his plate on the floor before consuming the steak in about five seconds using just his hands.

He curled up on the rug with the bone and made happy noises in his throat as he enjoyed the meaty treat. Minghao and Junhui ate in silence as the fox sucked the meat from his bone and then gnawed away at it on the floor. He chewed and crunched and by the time the other two had finished the bone was nothing but a few shards on the floor that had escaped the fox’s jaw. “Eat your vegetables,” Junhui said and the fox smiled as he sniffed at the carrots and zucchini on the plate. He ate one slice of the carrot and one of the zucchini and promptly deposited himself on Junhui’s feet. Junhui tried to ignore the clutch of the fox’s meaty hands at his work clothes as Wonwoo mouthed at his chin and neck and whined until Junhui gave in and handed him the bone from his plate as well.

“He’s…. a lot tamer than I expected…” Minghao said carefully as Junhui walked him to the door. The fox was still slavering happily over the second bone and Junhui had waved away Minghao’s offer to help with the dishes. He knew his friend was itching for the excitement of the most popular nightclubs and he was itching to be alone with the fox. “He’s really so gentle. He’s still afraid of everything, he barely remembers his life before he was taken, he’s hardly had time to grow up.” Tears filled Junhui’s eyes as he looked over at the fox. He was sprawled contentedly on his back, one hand clutching the bone planted firmly between his lips, the other scratching lazily at his belly exposed under the hem of his t-shirt.

“Just be careful,” Minghao said and Junhui cut him off immediately. “I am being careful. I won’t let anything happen to him or me. But I trust him.”

As Minghao drove away his heart felt heavy. It wasn’t a physical threat that made him concerned for his best friend. The fox could hurt him in so many other ways.


	15. collars and crowns and curiosity

 

 

Junhui woke with the dawn. He wondered what Wonwoo was doing before he even got out of bed. He was surprised to sit up and hear the tv going and he got slowly out of bed. He leaned back in a long lithe stretch with his arms over his head and his eyes closed and when he opened his eyes again he jumped a little to see the fox standing in the doorway. “Is everything okay?” Junhui asked and the fox nodded. “I made your coffee. I hope I did it right.”

The fox was a master of observation. He was always alert, always watching. Junhui knew this. He was just surprised the fox had gained enough confidence to attempt to make his coffee and it made him inexplicably happy inside. He grinned widely and followed the fox into the lounge room where two steaming mugs of white coffee sat on the table. Junhui only ever drank instant, with a big spoon of sugar, and the fox had decided to try it as well.

Junhui sank onto the couch and lifted the mug to his lips and hummed in delight when the sweet milky liquid revived his dry mouth and throat. He looked over to the hopefully dark eyes of the fox waiting on the floor and nodded. “It’s great,” he said and beckoned for Wonwoo to join him. The fox looked around out of habit, still nervous about his rightful place, and was quickly and gently chided. “Wonwoo,” Junhui said softly. “This is your home. You can sit on the couch or a chair or wherever you want. It’s okay.” He barely had time to react when the fox took him literally and curled up on the couch with his head in Junhui’s lap. Junhui took slow easy breaths as the fox rubbed his head on his thighs and everything went fuzzy for just a minute.

“Try your coffee,” he said as he willed the fox to move away from his crotch. He just couldn’t trust it to behave. The little grey fox, with his soft hair and his warm wet mouth and his gentle breathing, was making him feel things he didn’t know he could feel.

He watched the fox tentatively sip at the mug of hot coffee and watched his eyes widen in surprise at the taste. “Do you like it?” Junhui asked and the fox nodded. He’d never experienced the luxury of a hot drink before. He’d never tasted a drink besides water. He slurped a little as his mouth tried to work out the intricacies of the mug but he made a happy little whine in his throat.

Coffee sloshed a bit when Junhui’s phone buzzed and the fox jumped in fright. “It’s just the phone,” Junhui said as he read the text from Soonyoung. “I usually go running with my friend in the mornings but I haven’t been because I didn’t want to leave you alone too much..” Junhui said. “Friend?’ Wonwoo asked as he put the empty mug down. “Minghao?” Junhui shook his head. “Another friend.” He watched Wonwoo shrink a little. He knew he was scared of strangers and he watched the internal conflict crawl across his beautiful features. “I like to run,” he said eventually and Junhui nodded. “I’d like you to come. But there’s a big problem Wonwoo. If I take you out of the house you need to be collared.”

There were laws about hybrids displaying their registration when out of their owner’s houses. If Wonwoo was caught on the street un-collared he would be scanned for his chip and then they’d know he was to be euthanized on sight. It would be a breach and Junhui would be powerless. “It wouldn’t be like the shock collar,” he said as he stared at the table. He couldn’t look at the soft but sharp features of the fox as he listened to his silent contemplation. He hated this societal imposition of ownership and control. But when he put the mug down besides the phone he saw the conflict wash away. “I want to run,” the fox said as he smiled a little. “I’ll wear a collar. I trust you.”

 

 

Junhui had somehow fallen asleep. The sun was so warm and his book was only half interesting and he’d lost sight of the fox after watching him vanish into the branches of a huge tree. He’d been only slightly surprised to see the agile fox scamper easily up the trunk and guessed he liked to hide in the leafy verdant canopy. One thing he’d learned for sure about the fox was he loved to hide. So he’d closed his eyes and lost track of time and woke up in a start when a shadow crossed his face.

Wonwoo was leaning over him with his hands filled with flowers. “I made this for you,” he said shyly as Junhui sat up and let the fox put the flower crown onto his hair. It was mixed daisies and clover artfully woven and tied in a ring the perfect size of the man’s head and he felt his chest swell at the gesture. The little fox, devoid of any possessions, had used the only resource available to make something beautiful  for him. Something personal and precious and the most meaningful gift he’d ever received.

“I love it,” he said as he smiled in the sun at the fox wearing expectation and satisfaction all over his precious little face.  “Is it bath time now?” the fox asked as he nuzzled the man’s chin and he nodded. In that moment he would have given him anything he wanted.

 

He turned the oven on to reheat a frozen lasagne while he bathed the fox. The fox had learned to wash dishes, make coffee, use the tv and make a flower crown. But every night his eyes sparkled with expectation as he asked for his bath and unashamedly shed his clothing in front of the man who’d saved him in every way possible.

 

Every night he grabbed the shampoo bottle and shoved it into Junhui’s willing hands and sank into the water as Junhui’s fingers lovingly massaged his scalp. And every night Junhui’s eyes tried to stay chaste as the wet naked fox writhed under his gentle touch.

 

This night, the eighth one of their time together, something changed. “Go lay on the couch,” Junhui said when he’d dressed the fox in warm dry sweats and a pair of fuzzy socks with little cats on them. “I’ll have a shower and then I’ll get dinner out of the oven.” 

 

Wonwoo curled on the couch with his brush around him. He was nervous about the comfy places when Junhui was around but he kept telling him it was fine and he trusted him. Something deep inside his gut told him Junhui would never hit or hurt or even scold him for finding comfort on the couch.

 

 

Something deep inside was awakening, fed by trust and fuelled by faith, beginning to burn bright and strong. He heard the water running but it didn’t sound like the bath that Wonwoo was used to. He’d never considered how Junhui took his bath until now, never paid attention, never even wondered. He got up from the couch and slinked silently over to the bathroom and listened by the door. He heard water running like pounding rain and curiosity buoyed his bravery.

 

He cracked the door open just enough to peek inside and held his breath. Junhui was long and lean and golden in his beautiful naked form. His flawless skin and taut muscular body sent shivers down the fox’s spine as he watched him stand under the running water. As he reached over for the soap Junhui turned towards the door a little and the fox panicked. He dashed away and hid himself inside his cozy den, tossing and scratching, restlessly flicking his bedding to the side. Frustration and tension coiled in his lower stomach as a strange sensation flooded his nervous system. He’d never been aroused before and didn’t understand what was happening to him. One thing he did understand was he liked watching Junhui in the shower and he wanted to watch him again.


	16. wonwoo’s baby

 

 

Nerves churned in his stomach as he got out of bed. He’d done something the day before he never ever wanted to do.

 

===

 

The bright lights made everything look somehow more insulting. He walked up and down rows of lacy frilled outfits, diamanté studded water bowls, taupe cuddle blankets and oversized padded baskets. Junhui shuddered at the ostentatiousness of it all and cringed when he looked at a few price tags. He thought of Wonwoo, so happy with his little blue tent and pink bunny plate, and wondered if any of this would make him happier. No, he shook his head as he picked up a comforter with a rabbit head and put it back, Wonwoo would hate all of this stuff.

“It’s you,” she said, eyeing him up and down as her tongue sucked over her teeth. “How are things going?” “Good,” Junhui responded as he held the thin strip of leather in his hand. It was overpriced and came with a matching leash and he hated it. But they needed it or Wonwoo would be confined to the house for the duration of his stay.

“Thought you might be coming back to tell me he’s been euthanized,” her lipsticked lips smacked together and rings flashed on her fingers as she rang up his purchase. “Good choice, it will fit nicely next to the shock collar, although the leash will attach to that. You don’t need this.”

He paid and took the collar and leash concealed in the garish pink bag. He didn’t look back as he walked as quickly as he could to Minghao waiting in the work van. “Get what you needed?” he asked as he started the engine and Junhui nodded as they drove away. He took it out of the bag and inspected it. It was quite pretty, all things considered, and the black leather was soft and supple. It was lightweight and delicate and lined with velvet and studded with tiny crystals which glinted in the light from the window.

“He’s really going to let you put that on him?” Minghao asked curiously but Junhui shrugged and put it back in the bag. “I told him about running in the morning with Soonyoung and he wants to come. He wants to run and he knows this is the only way.”

Junhui knew the fox was wild. Unlike a common house pet, a hybrid evolved from years of selective breeding for docility and submission, he needed to run. He needed to expend energy and feel the wind in his hair as he ran for the fun of it. It was the same as his cutely curious habit of hiding. His instincts drove him to enjoy the strangest things. Junhui had shunned the balls and the chew toys, all the trappings of the typical hybrid toy box, thinking they wouldn’t hold a lot of appeal. The fox seemed happy enough with dirt and sun, sky and trees, and freedom. Junhui had watched him spend an hour examining the intricacies of a particularly appealing stick, chase a moth from one end of the house to the other, dig in the soft earth only to scratch the dirt back in and start all over again. He dismissed the toys as frivolous things which wouldn’t make the fox happy.

 

===

 

The next morning, early on a Tuesday, with the dawn light just peeking out over the horizon the fox whined in agitation. He was going stir crazy, the promise of freedom dangling so tantalisingly in front of him, his legs itching to stretch and run. He hadn’t run since he was a kit bolting besides the rushing river in the middle of the night with his siblings on his heels. Wonwoo wasn’t the strongest one of the litter, he definitely wasn’t the most aggressive, but his siblings couldn’t best him at a race. He was fast.

“Are you ready?” Junhui asked him and he took a deep breath. The collar had been out on the table since yesterday, making its presence known in their life, a symbol of their imbalanced relationship. Wonwoo had plenty of time to inspect it, to let his fingers trace the inside of the velvety soft fabric lining, to test the weight in his hands. Now it was time to put it around his neck and become a chained creature again. It was the price of freedom.

Junhui’s hands trembled as he fastened the collar. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, the buttery soft black leather complimented the fox’s white skin stunningly, the glint of crystal adornment matching the dark sparkle of his eyes. He buckled it and turned the collar so the identification disc was at the front and it was done. Wonwoo was collared again.

“How is it?” he asked softly and the fox nodded. “It’s…. strange,” he said as he focused on the barely there sensation. This was nothing like the shock collar. It felt light and soft, strangely comforting, and most of all exciting. This was the symbol of his new freedom. The front door was opening. A car pulled up and Wonwoo dived behind the couch with a low growl. The sound was strange. He hadn’t heard it before. “That’s just Soonyoung,” Junhui said as he lured the fox out with an outstretched hand. “I know you’ll like him. A lot.”

Soonyoung was the sort of guy who could smile at a baby he didn’t know, who would have his cheeks pinched by random old ladies, who would have a strange stray cat winding around his legs. Living creatures, young and old, human or otherwise, were drawn to Soonyoung’s expressive kindness and Junhui knew Wonwoo would be no exception. He opened the door and found a smiling Soonyoung waiting ready with his running gear on. “Hi Jun,” he smiled brightly and held a hand out to the shy little fox hiding behind his human. “You must be Wonwoo. It’s so nice to finally meet you.” He bowed a little and the fox trembled as he took his hand. No one had ever introduced themselves to him before. He’d never been considered worthy of meeting but this man stood in front of him, slightly shorter with wildly red dyed hair and chubby cheeks, shaking his hand as if he was human.

“Hi,” the fox whispered as he moved out from behind Junhui. “Ready to run?” Soonyoung grinned and the fox nodded and soon all three were making their way down the road slowly to warm up. As soon as they left the street and began to jog besides the open land, the fox took off barefoot and at breakneck speed leaving the two men in his wake. “Wow,” Soonyoung breathed through his chest, “he’s fast.” Junhui silently wondered if he was ever coming back.

When they reached the school oval the fox was nowhere to be seen. Junhui began to panic as he looked everywhere for a sign of Wonwoo but to no avail. He couldn’t see him anywhere. He couldn’t escape, not here, it wasn’t safe and he wasn’t ready. Just as fear overtook panic he heard a loud yip. When he stepped under the bower of a particularly large tree he heard it again  and found himself dragged to the ground. A warm weight landed on top of him and when he managed to focus he was met with the delighted eyes of a fox who’d hidden in the leaves. “I scared you,” Wonwoo said as he stared down at the man trapped beneath him with a flush and a colour to his cheek that Junhui had never seen. “Yeah, you got me,” he said as the fox rolled off and began to sniff around the base of the trees while Soonyoung watched on in amusement.

“Hey Wonwoo,” he called out as he slipped a hand into his pocket. “Want to play?” Clutched in his hand was a red rubber ball and Junhui cringed. This was it, the end of their morning runs before they’d even really started, and he waited for the anger or embarrassed of the fox’s reaction. He’d tried so hard to avoid being patronising and when Soonyoung had introduced himself to the fox so politely and so humanely he’d been overjoyed. Now it was all about to be outdone.

He was distracted from his melodramatic musings by a flash of red and then dark hair and a long brush. His jaw hung open as the fox scampered across the school oval after the red ball bringing it back to Soonyoung with his hair wild and his cheeks flushed with warmth and happiness. “Chasing is fun,” he said simply as he dropped the ball into Soonyoung’s hands and poised for the next throw, the tightly wound tension in his body exploding as soon as the ball moved, his legs moving faster than Junhui ever could have imagined.

Guilt gnawed away at him as he watched the fox play happily with Soonyoung in the cold grey sunlight. He’d been so fixated on coddling him he’d been depriving him of exercise and fun. He’d never seen the fox look so happy as when he raced across the field of grass after the red rubber ball. Until they returned to the house and Soonyoung leaned into the backseat of his car. He had one more surprise.

“Come here,” he beckoned to the fox who walked towards him. When Soonyoung revealed his surprise, Junhui wanted to crawl in a hole. He was so stupid.

When Wonwoo saw the stuffed dog, his eyes lit up like stars. He tentatively held his hands out, almost afraid to touch it, still unsure of this strange new world he was a part of. “Take it,” Soonyoung grinned as he thrust the toy against Wonwoo’s chest. “I bought it for you. It’s a kind of ‘welcome to the family’ gift.” He grinned with satisfaction when the fox took the toy and buried his nose in its fluffy brown fur. “I know you’re here all day by yourself and everyone needs a stuffy buddy!” The despair in Junhui’s stomach only churned tighter when he watched the fox whine and mouth carefully at Soonyoung’s chin in gratitude making the man blush.

He’d been so torn between treating Wonwoo right and taking care of him, not indulging in his differences, he’d ended up neglecting all sides of the hybrid. Was he a man? A fox? A child? He knew the answer was all three. And he’d ended up forming a sterile surrounding for him, which soothed and appealed a little of each side but without satisfaction. He watched the fox clutch the toy dog to his chest and tears filled his eyes. He was really terrible at this.

When they walked inside to the sound of Soonyoung driving away Junhui kept his eyes downcast. He could feel the warmth and joy radiating from the fox all due to Soonyoung. He never even considered how much fun and life a few toys could bring to the fox. He was too wound up trying not to own him that he was neglecting him. A tear rolled down his cheek and the fox turned to him immediately and thumbed it away. “Why are you sad?” he asked and Junhui sniffed. “I’m sorry. I guess I never thought of giving you things like this….” He wiped his cheek with a sleeve as he and the fox stood eye to eye.

 

“I didn’t want to make you feel like a pet. I don’t want to own you Wonwoo but I do want to take care of you. For as long as I have you.”

 

The man’s tears made the fox feel strange. His stomach twisted and clenched and he wanted it to stop. He felt his own tears spill as the scent of jealousy and cold regret filled the room. The fox didn’t understand a lot of human emotions but he did understand jealousy. It was the feeling that made his chest hurt when Junhui came home smelling like Minghao. It was the empty loneliness of being home all day wondering what they were doing together without him. It was the savage protectiveness that quietly boiled when he saw Minghao hug Junhui, touch his arm, lean too close. 

 

Jealousy wasn’t a mystery to the fox.

 

“Please don’t cry,” he pleaded again and mouthed at Junhui’s jaw. He nosed his neck and rubbed his face under Junhui’s chin and into his chest. He pushed the toy dog between them as he made his instinctive apology. And to his delight it worked when Junhui stopped crying and gave in, reached out to the fox at last, drawing him into his arms. 

 

The fox caged and beaten, the child without a childhood, the man not yet grown. Junhui realised he needed to embrace all three. “What’s his name?” He asked as he broke the embrace, took the dog and rubbed the soft fur against Wonwoo’s face making him shiver into the sensation. “Baby,” Wonwoo replied as he took the toy back and wrapped his arms around it. “Wonwoo’s Baby.” 

 

Now it smelled of Junhui and he liked it even more.


	17. the inevitable and the unpredictable

 

***

Happy Wonwoo Day

 

I wrote some terribly cliched and cheesy poetry in honour of Wonwoo’s special day - if you want to check it out go to my Twitter - it’s @abnegwrites

 

***

 

Wonwoo had become accustomed to being home alone during the day. Now he had Baby to keep him company anyway. The soft brown dog was his most prized possession, his treasure, almost an obsession. He carried the dog everywhere, tucked under his arm tightly, never letting it far out of his sight unless he was running. Every morning he would run while they jogged, hard and fast, and Soonyoung would throw the ball for him on the school oval. The explosive energy would drain him for most of the morning and as soon as Junhui left for work his secret routine began.

First he would take Baby and hide him in Junhui’s bed. The man was always so neat with his bedding, pulling it and tucking it in a way that fascinated the fox, the comfort of a flat bed beyond his comprehension. He would take his toy dog and hide it where Junhui slept and the sheets were still warm. He would then go to the kitchen, use his cup to get water, and admire the food left out for him on his pink bunny plate. He never looked in the cupboards. He knew the food on the pink plate was his and he wasn’t scared to eat it.

He would take some of his food into the living room and settle comfortably on the couch. He knew now how to work the TV and Junhui always left it set to National Geographic for him anyway. He would press the big red button, watch cheetahs running across the grasslands of Africa or lyrebirds parading in the rainforest, and fill his belly with whatever meats and fruits Junhui had left him. Then, after a big run and a small meal, he would feel tired. He would slip back into Junhui’s room and take Baby out from the bed and inhale the addictive warm scent of Junhui. 

 

Once the bed was fixed and any telltale sign smoothed away Wonwoo would take Baby into his den. He would scratch around and toss his bedding, settle on top of it or under it, depending how cold he was. With his Baby nestled in his arms, his nose rubbing into the fur, the scent of Junhui’s sleepiness overwhelmed him. It would send him into a gentle sleep lasting until the afternoon.

 

Afternoons were for sun and soil, digging and scratching, rolling and climbing. Wonwoo always made himself extra dirty so he would definitely get his bath. The dip and drop of the sun in the sky told him when to get ready for Junhui to arrive and his routine drove him to wait by the door. Every day he would shift and fidget and when the work van pulled up he would whine with excitement.

 

“Hi little fox,” Junhui would croon as his eyes lit up at the sight. The fox would circle him, sniffing and whining, learning all the places he’d been that day. The second best part of the day was when Junhui would hold his arms out and take the little fox against his chest while he licked and bit under his chin in adoration. 

 

The first best was when Junhui would ruffle his hair and laugh at the grass bits and leaves tangled in it. “You need a bath,” he’d say and go straight into the bathroom and fill the tub with warm water and the fox would whine in excitement. Every night he shed his clothing and climbed into the water and handed Junhui bottles of shampoo and shower gel to rub all over his hair and body. It felt wonderful and he couldn’t get enough.

 

Warm and clean, belly full of dinner and Baby in his arms, Wonwoo would curl up on the couch with his head in Junhui’s lap. He knew that when Junhui became engrossed in his dramas his hands would wander into the fox’s hair. He wrapped his arms tightly around his Baby and rocked his body gently as Junhui rubbed his ears and stroked his hair down to the nape of his neck.

 

He felt warm and safe, the touch of another living creature breathing new life into his tired body, his soul craving the hands of Junhui on his skin. When it all got too much he would sit up and nose at Junhui’s neck and bite at his jaw. Junhui would giggle but he would let him. He always let Wonwoo do whatever he wanted.

 

On the thirteenth night Wonwoo crawled into his den after another cozy night on the couch. Winter was coming, he could smell it in the air, and for the first time in his life winter wasn’t something to be afraid of. He knew, here in his new home with den and food and Junhui, he’d always be warm.

 

He snuggled his Baby to his nose and inhaled the scent of Junhui’s sweat and virility. He felt restless although his night had been relaxing and he tossed his bedding from side to side before rolling in its unsatisfying shape.

 

He felt weird, hot and cold, itchy and irritated. A strange feeling filled his belly and a craving filled his nostrils. He sat up and crawled out of his den and padded on silent feet into the bathroom. Instinct drove him to rummage through the dirty washing until he found his prize. 

 

He snatched out the tshirt Junhui had worn running that morning. He held it against his face and breathed in deep as the rich musk of Junhui’s sweat filled his nose making his body tingle all over. Wonwoo smiled to himself as he sneaked back into his den with the tshirt tight in his grasp and curled up in his bedding again.

 

Wonwoo knew he was late to mature but he didn’t really understand what that meant. He knew from being locked in the dealership with the other hybrids that when he matured he would go into heat, he would be warm and wet, desperate to mate and have his belly filled with seed and swollen with kits of his own. Not his pretend Baby, real babies, squirming and growing inside him.

 

No one warned him that he would be confused, that his body would do things that scared him, that he would be unable to control his urges. No one warned him that his mind would be filled with nothing but a need to scent Junhui, to luxuriate in his perspiration, to bury his face in the smell of man while he rutted his hips into a pillow. 

 

No one warned him that his burgeoning maturity would bring a wave of hormones making his mind cloudy with a haze of sexual desire. As he curled up in his den with his erection in his hand Wonwoo breathed heavily silent words of need and desperation. He whined and panted and stroked himself to orgasm and when he came for the first time ever he could think of no one and nothing but the man he trusted. He licked his hands clean and cuddled his Baby to his chest and a fitful sleep finally came over him with one name in his dreams.

 

Junhui.

 


	18. oblivion and flying blind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone enjoying this story - it’s my favourite thing to write.

 

A month had passed in the blink of an eye and Junhui had never been happier. Every day was just a means to an end, each workday just mindless time until he could be with him again. The precious time with Wonwoo was the highlight of his day.

 

The fox had gradually opened up, slowly and tentatively, and after a month of warmth and food he was an absolute joy. His eyes sparkled with life and his hair shone with the constant attention of Junhui’s grooming and his ears no longer twitched incessantly at every sound. Junhui just wished he could put on some weight. The fox was still painfully thin.

 

“Hey,” Minghao laughed as they pulled in at the supermarket carpark. “Earth to Junhui!” Junhui shook his head and cleared his mind. “No need to ask what you’re thinking about,” Minghao smirked as they got out and walked towards the doors. “Or more like who...” he wiggled his ears and Junhui burst out laughing. Minghao’s stoicism rarely cracked into mischief but when it did it was magical and joyful and nothing made Junhui laugh louder.

 

They shared a cart as they wandered the aisles. Junhui added chicken breasts, fruits and vegetables, rice and eggs. Minghao added bags of corn chips, four bottles of wine, condoms and ibuprofen. “That’s a lot of food Jun-gē,” Minghao said as he watched Junhui choose between Lebanese bread and Turkish bread for tomorrow’s Saturday lunch. “Well, Soonyoung is coming over tomorrow, and...” he sighed heavily as he pushed the cart into the bakery aisle. “I’m worried about Wonwoo. He’s been with me for a month and, I know he looks much better, healthy and energetic....” He picked up a couple of boxes of cake mix and stared at them. 

 

“Minghao I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I was hoping he’d put on some weight. He’s so thin and I’m worried that when he, you know, leaves me or whatever...” Even saying it was painful. He’d become so attached to the gentle little fox he was already starting to dread the day he came home to an empty house.

 

Minghao eyed him cautiously as he watched Junhui agonise over vanilla or red velvet cupcake mix and eventually just put them both in the cart. “He is eating though. Isn’t he?” He waited as Junhui took a deep breath. “How is he going to eat out in the wild? I’d like him to have some body fat to fall back on. I’d hate for him to starve.” Junhui pushed the cart down to the end of the aisle and over to the refrigerated section where he added butter and cream and cheese. He picked up a strawberry yoghurt and added that too as Minghao trailed patiently behind. Wonwoo liked strawberry. It was his favorite.

 

“I mean, I just thought he’d be hungrier,” Junhui said as they headed for the checkouts. “He eats what I leave out for his lunch, always eats it, but he never snacks. And at dinner he is the same. He eats his meal and never asks for more.” “Would he though?” Minghao wondered aloud and Junhui froze in his tracks. “What do you mean?” he said but a sick feeling crept into his body as he already knew the answer. “I mean, from what I’ve seen, he’s still pretty timid. I think he could be starving and he’d never dare look though the cupboards.”

 

Junhui knew Minghao was right. He knew Wonwoo carried some serious trauma that was food related and he knew it somehow related to the striped scars that ran the length of his back. He felt like throwing up as a sick feeling burned his stomach and bile rose in his throat. This whole time he was hungry, possibly starving even, and Junhui was too stupid to realise it. Of course he wouldn’t ask for food. He wouldn’t ask for anything.

 

“I’m terrible....” Junhui groaned as he lined up with the shopping cart full of food at the checkouts. “I should just give him to Soonyoung. He’d take better care of him than me...” Minghao frowned as he watched Junhui mutter softly, admonishing himself for his stupidity, before a brightness returned to his eyes.

 

“Start putting my stuff up please?” Junhui said as he took off back down the aisle where he quickly browsed the selection of kids plates and bowls. He picked out a white plastic plate with pink flowers and a bright yellow one with a puppy. He grabbed a few bowls and ran back to the checkout and added them to the pile of groceries Minghao had already started lining up on the conveyer belt.

 

Junhui only winced a little at the total of his grocery bill and then loaded it all into the back of the work van. By the time they pulled up in the driveway the pain of the empty wallet had been replaced by the soft sound of the fox whining behind the door. “Hello Petal,” Junhui crooned as the fox dived into his open arms. 

 

“Wait, I have to get the shopping,” Junhui giggled as Wonwoo wrapped his skinny arms around his neck and began to mouth at his jaw. “I know you’re hungry,” he said as he tried to extract himself from the embrace of the wriggling fox. “You have to let me go so I can get the groceries inside.”

 

Wonwoo let go and when he turned around he saw Minghao grabbing bags from the back of the van. He hissed out a little growl as all the hairs on his ears stood up and Junhui laughed loudly. “Wonwoo,” Junhui chided him gently. “Minghao’s just helping. He’s not stealing our food.” 

 

 

It wasn’t the food Wonwoo was worried about.

 

 

When the food was inside and they were finally alone Junhui was ready to fix it. The fox watched him with wide innocent eyes as Junhui took a marker from the drawer and wrote ‘Wonwoo’ on both new plates. He wrote the fox’s name on the new bowls as well and began to fill one with walnuts and almonds and dried cranberries. He took a second and covered it with grapes and strawberries which were the little fox’s favourite fruits.

 

He wanted to fill a plate with cheese, Wonwoo loved cheese, but he knew the fox wouldn’t open the fridge. A sudden idea came to him and Junhui rummaged through the drawer before finding a stack of post it notes. He wrote ‘Wonwoo’ on one and ripped it off the stack and pasted it to the front of the fridge with a flourish.

 

“Wonwoo, I don’t expect you to ever tell me what happened to you, maybe you won’t ever share your secrets. But you have to know that everything in here is for you. Anything you want you can take.” Junhui filled the plate with different cheeses, crumby cheddar and soft Camembert and little balls of bocconcini, and covered it with plastic before putting it in the fridge.

 

“I want you to know that it’s okay to take what you want. And if you’re too scared to just take then all you have to do is ask. Okay? Wonwoo I’ll give you whatever you want.”

 

The innocence in Wonwoo’s eyes fuelled the fire burning in Junhui’s chest exacerbated when the fox began to yip. The happy little sounds in his throat made Junhui weak and warm. He stood still and let the fox press their bodies together as he nuzzled into Junhui’s neck and chin. Hot breath ghosted a trail down his neck and fuzzy ears tickled his chin and Junhui wondered how he was ever going to be alone again. How could he ever face a home without the little fox waiting patiently for him behind the door? Would it even be his home without Wonwoo in it?

 

He was shaken from his melancholic musings by the fox pulling away. “I-I want to ask for something...” the fox stuttered nervously and Junhui smiled warmly at him indicating it was okay. 

 

“I want to ask for my bath please,” the fox said as he blushed and stared at the ground and Junhui was only too willing to indulge him.

 


	19. Cupcakes and anguish in the cold winter sun AKA: Wonwoo loves cupcakes and Junhui loves Wonwoo

 

 

“Soonyoung!” The fox flew out of the door as soon as he heard the car pull up and into the shorter man’s open arms. “Wonwoo!” Soonyoung squealed with excitement as he lifted the fox off the ground into an excited embrace and swung him around. The toy dog was trapped between them and Soonyoung didn’t leave him out of the excitement. “Hi Baby,” he said as he patted the toy on the head and Wonwoo beamed with pride. 

 

“What do you want to do today?” Soonyoung smiled at the little fox who clutched tightly to his hand. “Junhui said we are going to make ‘cupcakes’ which I’ve never had and then maybe we can go for a drive to the beach!” “That all sounds amazing!” Soonyoung grinned. “Does Baby want to come to the beach too?” Soonyoung smiled as Wonwoo nodded and bounced on his heels excitedly.

 

Junhui had bowls out on the cupboard, measuring cups and eggs ready, and the oven heating up. “Cupcakes?” Soonyoung smirked as he walked in and Junhui tried to ignore their tightly wound fingers and cozy proximity. “Yeah, Wonwoo’s never had cupcakes before, and why not?” He tried to pretend he didn’t see the excited gleam in Wonwoo’s eyes whenever he looked at Soonyoung.

 

Junhui began to measure out the cake mix, butter and eggs and milk, pouring it all into his shiny mixer. He flicked the switch and cringed when Wonwoo yelped and disappeared out of the room. “Shit,” Junhui swore as he turned the mixer off but by the time he made it into the living room Soonyoung was already comforting a shaking Wonwoo. Junhui tried to ignore the clenching of his heart when he saw Wonwoo curled in Soonyoung’s arms for comfort.

 

This day wasn’t going as he’d hoped.

 

 

“It’s just the mixer petal,” Junhui said softly as he watched Wonwoo curl a fist into Soonyoung’s tshirt. “It won’t hurt you. It’s just loud.” “Just loud?” He echoed as he stared, eyes wide and glistening, at Soonyoung who nodded and stroked his hair. “It will be fine. It’s just loud.”

 

When they all returned to the kitchen Junhui finished mixing the cupcakes and divided the batter into brightly coloured paper pans. Soonyoung dipped a finger into the batter and licked it off to the dismay of Junhui. “Stop that!” He swatted out at his friend with a dishcloth and Soonyoung jumped out of the way. “It’s the best! Try it Wonwoo!” Soonyoung stuck his finger in the batter again and held it out towards the fox’s face. Junhui watched the fox sniff it before his soft pink tongue crept warily from his mouth and lapped at Soonyoung’s finger. Junhui pretended he didn’t want to punch his friend right in the face when he saw Wonwoo’s lips curl around Soonyoung delicately as he sucked the batter from his finger.

 

 

He’d wanted to spoil Wonwoo a little, make him a picnic, walk along the beach with him and maybe even get ice cream or browse the shops along the beach road. Instead he stood alone in the kitchen washing dishes while he listened to the happy chirping of Soonyoung and Wonwoo playing around in the other room.The room was just filling with the scent of vanilla, and Junhui’s chest burning with jealousy, when he turned around to find Wonwoo by his side.

 

“Are you okay?” Wonwoo exuded innocence as he stared at Junhui. “I’m fine,” Junhui said as he picked up the dishcloth to dry the bowls. “You don’t smell fine. You smell weird and it’s scaring me,” Wonwoo’s eyes flickered with nervousness as his nose tested the air. He moved a little closer and scented Junhui, hot breath running the length of his neck, the man standing as still as he could. “Why are you mad at me Junhui?” Wonwoo mumbled as he wrapped his arms around Junhui’s waist and nosed softly at his jaw.

 

Junhui closed his eyes and willed his feelings under control. He was used to Wonwoo’s biting and mouthing and could read his signals well but this was different. This was gentler, less animal and more man, more human than Wonwoo had ever acted. This was closer to a kiss than his usual mouthing and Junhui wasn’t sure he could handle it. He stood still and terrified as the fox’s lips moved gently against his neck, goosebumps flaring like wildfire in the wake of his breath, his whole body driving him down a dark path of lust and destruction and reckless want.

 

“I’m not mad,” Junhui protested as he tried to push the fox away from his body. His hands were gentle but he could see the rejection on Wonwoo’s face. How could he ever explain to him the stress and worry Junhui felt, his fear of falling in any deeper, of letting himself love something just to let it go? How would he explain the gnawing aching jealousy that twisted his insides when he saw the easy way the fox had warmed to Soonyoung? How could he show him that he was only trying to save him from his own reckless and sick human desires?

 

“You are mad. I can feel it,” Wonwoo looked up at Junhui from behind thick dark lashes and the man felt suddenly vulnerable, almost naked, as if Wonwoo could sense every emotion inside him. “I’m not mad at you petal,” Junhui said and drew the fox back into his arms just as the alarm on his phone sounded. The cupcakes were done.

 

 

 

 

 

“Are you excited?” Soonyoung said as Wonwoo, collared but barefoot, was helped into the car by Junhui. “I’m excited,” he said as he let Junhui lean over and buckle his seatbelt. “This keeps you safe,” Junhui said as he clicked it and Wonwoo blinked at him with wide innocent eyes. “And Baby,” he said with so much earnestness that Junhui couldn’t refuse him. He went around to the other side and buckled the toy dog as well.

 

As soon as the car began to back out of the driveway Wonwoo began to whine. By the time they got to the end of the street he was shaking, his whole body pressed against the seat, his ears flattened to his head in fear. “Wonwoo, its just the car, you’re safe...” Junhui said but he couldn’t bear the terror on the little fox’s face. “Pull over,” He said to Soonyoung and when he climbed across to the backseat the fox clung desperately to him.

 

“Do you want to go home?” Junhui asked and Wonwoo shook his head. “No, I want to see the beach,” he said but he couldn’t stop shaking. In the end Soonyoung drove while Junhui sat on the backseat and ran his fingers through Wonwoo’s hair the whole way. He stroked his hair and his ears, whispered soothing words to the fox, but he still shivered the whole way. Despite his fear he endured and after what felt like hours they arrived at the beach. It had actually only been about twenty minutes.

 

“It’s wonderful,” Wonwoo breathed softly as he looked around. “This is only the carpark!” Soonyoung laughed as he grabbed for Wonwoo’s hand. “Come on!” He said as he pulled the fox towards the beach. Junhui trailed behind them, loaded down with the picnic basket, a big blanket, a ball and Baby. He struggled up over the crest of grass and his heart sank at the sight of Wonwoo, totally captivated, arms wrapped around Soonyoung with his head on his shoulder. 

 

He wanted it to be him standing stoic as Wonwoo’s safety. He wanted to be his rock, his shield, the one he came too for comfort and attention. He wanted it so bad that his stomach churned and he felt like he might throw up. It was him who took Wonwoo in, fed him and clothed him and bathed him, it should be him the little fox wanted.

 

He walked past them silently towards the sand and spread the blanket. He couldn’t help the morose mood as he sat down and began to unpack the picnic he’d prepared with so much love and excitement and anticipation. And now all he could taste was the sour envy when he watched Soonyoung leading Wonwoo by the hand towards the picnic.

 

“Ready to try your first cupcake?” Soonyoung beamed at the fox and reached out and Junhui swatted his hand away. Confusion crossed his face but Junhui’s was painted with a fiercely possessive fury and Soonyoung was struck with the feeling he’d done something terribly wrong.

 

Junhui didn’t care. He didn’t spend all morning baking them to watch Soonyoung get the glory. He selected the biggest cupcake, vanilla with buttercream icing and rainbow sprinkles, and shifted closer to the tentative fox. He was a little shaken from the tense atmosphere but he still opened his mouth and let Junhui feed him the cupcake. His eyes fluttered closed as his face twisted with delight and he chewed the cake and quickly swallowed it. “More,” he whispered as he wriggled onto Junhui’s lap and Junhui was quick to oblige.

 

 

“You’re acting really weird today,” Soonyoung said. The lunch was eaten and the papers from about twelve cupcakes were scattered around them on the blanket. “Sorry,” Junhui said as he stared at the fox. Wonwoo was crouched in the mud about ten metres away. He was digging happily in the damp sand, stopping every now and again to scent the wet salty ground, or just stare out at the water. 

 

“You shouldn’t be ashamed,” Soonyoung said as he watched Junhui watch the fox. “He needs love more than anything.” “How can you...” Junhui started but stopped. He knew his feelings were barely contained below the surface and Soonyoung was great at reading people so he didn’t even try to deny it.

 

“It’s just so hard, you know, watching the two of you together,” Junhui admitted and Soonyoung just grinned at him. “You’re jealous!” He began to laugh as he watched Junhui get awkward and start packing the lunch mess away. “Look,” Soonyoung said as he started to help Junhui pick up the cupcake mess, “first of all you’re being stupid. He loves you more than anything. Remember how skeptical you were about even being able to look after him? And now look at him. He loves his life.” “But it’s not his life. It’s just a temporary situation and I-I c...” 

 

He couldn’t even say it. How could he let himself develop these feelings knowing it was all just going to come to an end? The weather had grown chilly and he was still stick thin but once winter was over he would have to let him go.

 

Soonyoung could read every thought written and wrought across Junhui’s face. “You’re holding back Junhui and its not fair on him. He can tell but he doesn’t understand why.” Soonyoung watched Junhui staring at the fox who’d stopped digging and was rolling lazily on his back in the sun. “You know it’s going to end Jun. Why not just enjoy him as much as you can until then?”

 

Soonyoung was right. Wonwoo didn’t prefer Soonyoung, he just didn’t push him away like Junhui did, always keeping his affection at arms length. Afraid to give in and give the little fox what he really needed. Warm, attentive, reverent and gentle love. It was more vital to him than sun and water, food and shelter, warmth and safety.

 

Junhui stared off into the horizon. The sun was blinding but the air was still cool and he wondered if Wonwoo would still be with him when the weather turned warm. He’d like to swim with him in the ocean on a hot summer day with nothing but the faraway squalls of gulls to disturb them.

 

“I’m not going to take him away,” Soonyoung said gently as he broke Junhui from his silent reverie. The stuttering breath he inhaled settled his nerves a little and Junhui stretched as he got up and walked towards the fox. When he looked up and saw Junhui walking towards him he shifted in his crouch, ears perking up cutely, his brush waving slowly from side to side. 

 

Junhui’s instinct screamed at him to open his arms, to open up his heart, to let the little fox in. His eyes were so full of hope and expectation and, for the first time, Junhui let him in.

 

He opened his arms wide and Wonwoo jumped up into them and when he mouthed at his jawline Junhui didn’t push him away. He stood still and let the fox bite at his jaw, nose his neck, rub his hair under Junhui’s chin. It felt wonderful and the man let a laugh loose as the fox mouthed and whined against his jawline. “You can’t be hungry again?” he said softly and Wonwoo whined a little more urgently as Junhui began to lead him back to the picnic blanket.

 

“More cake?” Junhui asked as he reached into the picnic basket and Wonwoo began to whine again. When he saw the red velvet cupcake, generously topped with rich cream cheese frosting, he crawled into Junhui’s lap and began to bite at his chin again.

 

“I’m going to grab some cold drinks,” Soonyoung said as he walked up the hill but Junhui barely heard him. He was too consumed with the wriggling fox in his lap, furry ears tickling his chin, dark eyes gazing adoringly at him as he fed the fox tiny bites of the sweet cake.

 

When the cake was gone Junhui expected Wonwoo to get up. Instead he just leaned over and grabbed his Baby and leaned back into Junhui’s lap. The sun was sinking and the sky was alive with the beginnings of a beautiful sunset in shades of orange and gold and indigo. Junhui let his hands wander through Wonwoo’s hair, tentatively at first, becoming bold enough to stroke at the grey fuzzy ears twitching under his chin.

 

He was barely touching them, his fingertips light and gentle, his breath holding as steady as he could manage. The feeling of acceptance was making his chest hurt as he enjoyed the weight of Wonwoo in his lap. But it was a beautiful pain, exquisite in its intensity, and Junhui knew Soonyoung was right. It would be worth it to have him, as much as he could, and just enjoy it until their inevitable separation.

 

He leaned down and inhaled gently, allowing himself the luxury of the scent of the fox’s hair, salty from the wind and fruity from shampoo and tinged with a hint of something unidentifiable. It had a quality that was all Wonwoo and Junhui thought it smelled like heaven. He pressed a kiss into the fox’s hair and pulled him closer into his arms as the fox snuggled his Baby and stared out at the water.

 

“Do you want anything?” Junhui asked softly and Wonwoo turned to him with wet eyes laden with hope and expectation. “Can we go home please?” He asked so meekly it made Junhui’s heart bleed for him. “You want to go already?” He said and Wonwoo nodded gently at his chin before biting along his jawline the way he did when he wanted something. “Yes please. I want my bath,” he said and Junhui smiled. He wanted to go home too.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	20. changing dynamics and alluring innocence

 

 

Wonwoo was luxuriating in a warm orange scented heaven. His limbs were askew in the hot water and every time he moved a little water sloshed over the edge making the floor wet. 

 

He looked down at his body and admired the slight changes. He had more bowls now, filled with treats of all kinds, and while Junhui was at work he would eat and sleep all day. A soft fine layer of muscle and fat was just beginning to cover his body and he smiled at the welcome sight. He’d always just been bones and skin and he was proud of how healthy he looked.

 

He rolled a little in the water and caught Junhui staring at him. It made him feel hot inside, not unwelcome, the heat pooling low in his abdomen in that new way he was getting used to. He’d never really been bothered by people looking at him before but something about Junhui’s eyes when they washed over his bare skin made him feel shivery and he liked it. He liked Junhui looking at him.

 

Fridays were the best. Junhui was insistent on expanding Wonwoo’s palate and Friday nights had become a time of baking and cooking, the man making endless varieties of sweets and savouries, all to tempt Wonwoo to eat more. He now enjoyed pasta and bread, cakes and ice cream, rice and soup. He still had a distaste for fish but his mouth was watering at the thought of the rabbits braising on the stove Junhui had brought home as a special treat. 

 

He rolled again as he grabbed for the shampoo and passed it to Junhui. He could feel eyes on his skin, Junhui’s gaze raking over his thighs and his ass and his brush, he could smell the heady scent of the man’s shame and arousal. He didn’t know what he had to feel ashamed about. Junhui was always gentle with him, even with his eyes.

 

He knew Junhui was shy, careful to pretend he wasn’t looking at the naked fox in the tub, and it gave Wonwoo a confidence he’d never felt before. A feeling of assurance and safety and calm. And that’s when it dawned on him and he sat up straight with his eyes flashing in the brightly lit bathroom.

 

Wonwoo trusted him.

 

He’d never trusted a man before and it had only taken about six weeks with Junhui for him to completely erode all his barriers. Every wrong that had been done to him, every harsh word and cruel taunt, all washed away with the warm comforting bath water. And with his new self awareness came another realisation. He _wanted_ Junhui to look at him. He wanted Junhui to caress his bare skin with his fond warm gaze. He wanted Junhui to enjoy the sight of Wonwoo’s naked skin glistening with water. He wanted more than just Junhui’s eyes on his body, he wanted warm hands on his arms and legs, he wanted gentle feather light touches on the soft parts of him he’d always defended vehemently with teeth and claw.

 

When Junhui’s hands began to lather his head goosebumps sprang up all over the fox’s body. He whined a little as he enjoyed the sensation of gentle fingers massaging his scalp and ears but this time it wasn’t enough.

 

_“I want you to know that it’s okay to take what you want. And if you’re too scared to just take then all you have to do is ask. Okay? Wonwoo I’ll give you whatever you want.”_

 

 

“Junhui,” the fox said quietly, almost reluctantly, as he closed his eyes and let the man rinse his hair. “Yes petal?” Junhui replied and when Wonwoo opened his eyes the smile on the man’s face was dazzling. “I want you to wash me,” the fox said shyly and when Junhui picked up a washcloth he shook his head. “With your hands. Please?”

 

He stood in the water, the goosebumps all over him resulting from the cold air or the touch, neither of them knew. He stood still as Junhui lathered orange blossom shower gel all over Wonwoo’s back and arms, chest and stomach, down his white legs. It was heaven to the fox who relished the touch and made soft sounds of happiness in his throat. It felt wonderful.

 

When he was wrapped in a thick fluffy towel Junhui left him alone. A huge hoodie had been left out for him to put on, along with warm sweatpants and thick socks. Junhui had a fire roaring in the fireplace but he still didn’t want the fox to be cold.  Wonwoo pulled the hoodie on and smiled when he saw it hung halfway down his thighs. He sat on the floor outside his den and pulled the fuzzy socks onto his feet but he disregarded the pants. He wanted to feel Junhui’s eyes on him again and the freedom of his tail hanging unhindered was just a bonus. An unquantifiable instinct rising to the surface was driving Wonwoo to attract Junhui’s attention, to display his body, to show bare skin and revel in the attention. To hunger for Junhui’s reaction.

 

 

“Is the fire too warm?” Junhui asked, noticing his bare legs, as Wonwoo joined him in the kitchen. The fox shook his head. The smell of the braised rabbit was overwhelming and the fox felt like a kit again as he circled the room in excitement. He whined and pressed his body against Junhui, mouthing at his jaw, happy little yips building in his throat. “Okay, okay,” Junhui laughed but he didn’t push him back. He didn’t push the little fox away any more. “I know you’re hungry but I can’t serve it up with you in my way.” His chiding was gentle and Wonwoo resorted to gripping the back of Junhui’s sweater and trailing him as the man moved around the kitchen.

 

The bowl in front of Wonwoo was full to the brim. Rich rabbit meat sat in a hot thick broth with carrots and celery and potatoes. Junhui had scraped the meat into his plate but had left the bones in for the fox and he was happy to see him using a spoon to get the vegetables and broth into his mouth. He was learning so fast that sometimes Junhui forgot about his ears and tail and saw him as more man than animal. When his bowl was empty and he was curled in front of the fire sucking and crunching the rabbit bones he was an animal again.

 

Junhui watched the fox curl and stretch his lithe body in front of the fire. The rabbit was a hit and he was warm inside from Wonwoo’s gratitude. Whenever the little fox mouthed at his jaw Junhui knew he was hungry and couldn’t wait to see the blissed out expression on his face when his belly was full. Junhui was proud of his cooking and smiled happily as the fox unfurled his brush and sucked on the leg bone of a rabbit. 

 

Wonwoo rolled on his side and stretched a certain way and the hoodie rose up exposing more thigh than Junhui could handle. He gulped and looked away, his cheeks ablaze with the flush of embarrassment, his eyes trying desperately to avert. But he just couldn’t resist. He tried to hide the hunger and admiration in his eyes as he watched the fox roll onto his stomach and pick up another bone. The hoodie was dangerously high now, only barely hiding Wonwoo’s naked ass, his brush swinging lazily side to side as he kicked his legs around in the air.

 

He scolded himself and tried to look away, but when Wonwoo shifted again to roll on his side Junhui saw his eyes flicker. They were sparkling and bright and definitely watching him and Junhui got the feeling Wonwoo was checking to see if he was looking at him.

 

He turned his eyes back to the tv briefly before the fox stretched lazily, arms reaching out, hoodie stretching to the limits of what it could cover. The way he was moving had taken on a new quality, his mannerisms strangely and suddenly sensual, and Junhui felt hot as he watched the fox crawl across the floor towards him.

 

“D-do you want something?” Junhui stammered, the stutter giving away his nerves, as Wonwoo slid upward and onto the couch next to him. “Just you,” the fox said softly as he pushed his head into Junhui’s hands and the man began to stroke his hair and ears.  The tv blared in the background as Wonwoo curled into a ball and snuggled closer to Junhui. He made throaty thick noises of happiness as he wriggled closer to Junhui, his body hanging bare from the bottom of the hoodie, his long brush waving around freely.

 

Wonwoo whined and made grabby hands in the air and Junhui chuckled. He knew what the little fox wanted and reached behind him to grab Baby. “Baby...” Wonwoo breathed softly as the toy was nestled in his arms and Junhui felt his whole body relax. 

 

Junhui stroked his hair, he always stroked his hair, never letting his hands wander anywhere else. But something felt different tonight, like a shift in the dynamic between them, and he let one hand wander down to rub between Wonwoo’s shoulder blades. “Nice...” the fox whispered as he arched his back into the touch and Junhui rubbed his lower back. He was completely distracted from the tv now, nothing existed outside the man and the fox, and Wonwoo’s enthusiasm for Junhui’s strong hands.

 

Junhui’s hands grew brave and he wound one gently around Wonwoo’s tail. When he sensed no resistance he rubbed it gently, stroking the wiry grey fur between his fingers, delighting in the fox’s writhing enjoyment. “Feels nice Jun,” Wonwoo said as he shifted his body into Junhui’s lap. He nosed at the creamy caramel skin of Junhui’s neck and inhaled deeply as he stretched his long legs again. He stretched and revelled in the feeling of Junhui’s admiration, he drank in the scent of Junhui’s arousal, he luxuriated in the warmth and security of arms he trusted. Instinct took over and his mouthing and nosing turned into a series of gentle and tentative licks pressed against Junhui’s neck.

 

Junhui held him and stroked his tail, rubbed his ears and back, closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of the fox’s rough tongue on his skin. He kept petting the fox as his licks slowed down and soon stopped as his breathing grew slow and heavy. Junhui smiled when he realised the little fox was asleep.

 

He stood up carefully with the sleeping featherweight in his arms and walked into Wonwoo’s room. He bent, rather awkwardly, and put the sleeping fox down on top of his bedding inside the den. Wonwoo stirred but didn’t wake and Junhui tucked his Baby into his arms before backing out and heading into his own room.

 


	21. realisations and symbiotic reciprocation

 

 

Wonwoo’s eyes flew open. He blinked in the darkness and his eyes quickly adjusted to the dimness of the room. He was just as at home in the pitch of midnight as the middle of the day and he sat up and looked around. Something had woken him. He wondered what.

 

His nose tested the air and his ears flickered in their search for a sound. He could smell the heady mix of sweat and testosterone that he knew belonged to Junhui. It was especially strong and he could hear the man’s laboured breathing and he was driven to investigate.

 

He was as silent as the creep of dawn as he slipped out of his den and out of the room. He sat down on the floor and pressed his ear against the door to Junhui’s room as the scent of the man invaded his nostrils.

 

The thickness of Junhui’s breathing had him worried, the heavy smell of sweat and hormones hung in the air, and Wonwoo worried something was wrong. He listened again and was just about to fight every instinct he had and throw the door open when he heard a soft groan of pleasure. 

 

Wonwoo was confused. He didn’t understand arousal. The brief encounters he’d had with the human state of need and excitement were clouded with aggression and lust. This was different. He could smell Junhui’s pleasure and his fear, his guilt and his desire. Fire burned in the fox’s belly as a warm feeling washed over him. He was curious and he wondered what would happen if he opened the door.

 

But he was too scared.

 

When he heard Junhui’s pants turn heavy and fast he grasped at his stomach. He was hard again and it was less scary this time. He knew what to do now and reached under the hoodie and began to stroke his erection. It felt so good and he closed his eyes and listened intently to the sounds coming from the other side of the door. 

 

His own breath began to shorten and gasp in time with Junhui’s and the rich scent of arousal was seeping from him as well. He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the door as his breath became laboured and his orgasm neared. Every stroke edged him closer, his soft hands working quickly, his legs squirming together in ecstasy as he pressed against the door. He listened harder as Junhui’s moans got louder, they were muffled and feint, and Wonwoo could tell he had his face pressed into a pillow. 

 

He was overcome with the urge to hear those sounds out loud, to hear Junhui’s noises of pleasure, to feel the man’s face pressed against his neck instead of into a pillow. He wanted the man’s hands on his body, his hot breath on his skin, he ached and hungered for the weight of Junhui’s body on top of his.

 

When he heard the man gasp loudly he spilled into his hand. His orgasm flooded his body with pleasure and his brain with endorphins and he rode waves of ecstasy as he writhed on the floor. His mind cleared and he quickly scuttled back into his den where he could lick his hands clean in peace and privacy. And now he understood. This was when Wonwoo learned the truth of arousal.

 

 

Now his arousal had relented Junhui felt sick. He was so ashamed of himself, thrusting into his hand, groaning into his pillow. Imagining the soft skin of the hybrid underneath him. Wondering how sweet his skin would taste, how it would feel to grip his hips and drive his body down hard, to feel the fox from the inside as well as out. He stared at the roof and listened to the heavy sound of silence as he reviled the mess in his hands and the clench in his chest. Guilt, shame, infinite and indescribable sadness. The weight of his actions made his stomach churn but he couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t help the way Wonwoo made him feel no matter how hard he tried to deny it.

 

His ears strained for any sound but the night was eerily silent. Junhui sat up and took a deep breath before swinging his legs over the side of the bed. The floor was cold under his bare feet and he ignored the mess in his pants as he padded noisily towards the bathroom. Reluctant to turn on a light, Junhui bumped into the dresser and the doorframe, before quickly making his way into the only bathroom in the house.

 

He didn’t want to wake the little fox but he had to wash. He needed the metaphorical and literal cleansing a hot shower would provide. He stripped and dropped his soiled boxer shorts into the hamper in the corner before running the water as hot as he could stand. He soaped and lathered his skin all over as he closed his eyes and enjoyed the restorative cleansing of the shower.

 

When he opened them and ran his hands through his hair he thought he must be mistaken. The door, previously closed, was open a crack. The ajar door may or may not have been a mistake but the amber glow of the fox’s curious eyes was unmistakeable. As soon as Junhui met their gaze he was gone. But this time Junhui knew for sure. 

 

Wonwoo was watching him.

 

And the fox wanted to be watched.

 

It wasn’t his imagination. The display of the fox’s sinewy lithe body, the sensual stretch of his limbs, the barely concealed nudity and the breathtakingly sensuous licking at his neck. It was deliberate and tempting and purposeful. And it made Junhui weak at the knees.

 

He’d never take advantage of the fox. He’d never trick him or deceive him or force him to do anything he didn’t want to do. But he couldn’t resist the lure of Wonwoo’s burgeoning sexuality. How could he? He was absolutely enamoured with everything about the beautiful creature that shared his home and had already made a place in his heart. He’d take Soonyoung’s advice and enjoy as much of Wonwoo as he could, as the little fox allowed, and make the most of what little time they had.

He’d make the most of every day they had before Wonwoo was free.


	22. Building something special

 

 

The den was dimly lit but Wonwoo could see so clearly. The sun had just risen and it’s rays broke through the curtains painting the walls in a cold grey light. The den was warm and blue, the fox restless, his body itching and tossing around relentlessly.

 

He got up and sneaked into the bathroom in search of the treasure he could smell. His nose twitched in the damp room which never really dried out in the winter. Everything in here smelled of Junhui and Wonwoo loved it. This tiny little rundown bathroom was his favourite place in the house besides his den. He padded softly across the cold floor and began to dig into the clothes hamper but he didn’t have to dig too deep. He found them near the top and brought the boxers to his nose and inhaled. 

 

The scent of Junhui’s body, his fertility and his arousal, filled Wonwoo’s senses overwhelming him for a minute. His knees felt weak and his skin tingled with goosebumps as he inhaled again. A smile crossed his face as he clutched the dirty fabric to his chest and rushed with it back into his den before he was discovered. 

 

Wonwoo scratched around in his den trying to get comfortable. He felt restless and irritated and just couldn’t make the den the way he wanted it. It just wasn’t soft enough. His ears pricked up and strained for any sound but the house was still silent. He slipped out of the den again, bare feet barely touching the cold wooden floor, as he made his way to the linen cupboard. His hand lingered on the handle and his stomach churned but he trusted him.

 

“I want you to know that it’s okay to take what you want. ”

 

He trusted Junhui implicitly. It was a strange feeling, this unshakeable bond, this absolute confidence that Junhui would never hurt him. That Junhui would never hit him or shout at him or turn him away. This was his home and everything in it was his to use if he needed. He grasped the handle and pulled and marvelled at the contents of the little cupboard.

 

There were sheets and blankets and towels galore stacked in neat piles of whites and greys and blues. Wonwoo ran a hand over a soft fuzzy blanket and smiled as he pulled it free from the pile. He nosed at it and inhaled and it smelled like Junhui. It smelled different to the shorts he’d scavenged from the hamper. This was the fresh side of Junhui, the clean side, the polite and funny and caring side. Wonwoo loved this smell. He also loved the other smells, the ones carried on his soiled shorts and running shirt, the scent of the primitive core of what made Junhui a man. He loved it all.

 

Wonwoo let a little giggle slip free as he rubbed the soft blanket against his face. He gathered it in his arms and looked over the other contents, selecting a few sheets and an old looking comforter, pulling them free as well. On the way back to his den he took two cushions from the couch and a throw run and when he piled them inside his den he felt satisfaction. He kicked and tossed them around until the shape was perfect and finally laid Baby in the centre with triumph. The den was completely filled with a soft and shapely nest and Wonwoo curled himself around his Baby and went back to sleep.

 

When he woke again the sun was higher in the sky. He walked out barefoot and bare legged and found Junhui in the kitchen cutting fruit for a health breakfast. “Good morning,” he said brightly as he smiled at the grey fox’s sleepy steps. “Good morning,” Wonwoo said, his voice deep as it reverberated with the heaviness of his dry throat. He found his cup and filled it with water and took a few sips before putting it down. He moved closer to Junhui, wrapping his arms around the man’s waist, nestling his body as close as he could. Junhui chuckled a little as he tried to keep chopping but the fox was making it too difficult to ignore him. Finally Junhui our down the knife and wrapped the little fox up in a tight hug and heard him sigh in satisfaction.

 

“What do you want to do today?” Junhui said into Wonwoo’s hair as the fox began to rub his face against Junhui’s shirt. “Take a bath...” he said into the fabric and Junhui burst out laughing. “Wonwoo! I was serious! That’s not an activity,” he chuckled as Wonwoo gripped his tshirt harder and began to nose at his neck and chin. “Do you want to call Soonyoung and go out somewhere?” he asked and Wonwoo shook his head as he began to lick at Junhui neck. “No Soonyoung,” he said softly in between the short gentle drag of his rough tongue on Junhui’s skin. “Just Jun today. Just Wonwoo and Jun and Baby. Please?” When Junhui looked down and saw Wonwoo staring at him with black pools of intensity he nodded distractedly. “W-whatever you want,” he managed to stutter out and Wonwoo sighed again and moved his arms to wrap around Junhui’s neck.

 

Finally Junhui had to break free. “Wonwoo, petal, I can’t finish your breakfast like this...” he said as he tried to untangle himself from Wonwoo’s arms. The little fox whined and settled for clutching at the back of Junhui’s pyjama top as the man finished cutting the fruit and got the yoghurt and juice from the fridge.

 

They took their breakfast into the living room and Junhui looked around for the nice blue throw rug he liked to put over his knees but he couldn’t see it anywhere. “Wonwoo, petal, have you seen the blue rug?” He asked and was surprised when Wonwoo jumped up and hid behind the couch. He quirked an eyebrow at the little fox before realising some cushions were gone as well. “Petal?” He called out as he peeked over the back of the couch and found Wonwoo curled up in a ball. “What’s wrong?” He asked softly as Wonwoo hid his face in his arms. Wonwoo shook his head but Junhui leaned over and began to run a hand through his quickly lengthening hair. “Did you take it?” He asked and Wonwoo nodded without looking up. “Well, that’s okay, I was just wondering where it was. I’ll just get another one,” 

 

Junhui got up from the couch and went to the linen cupboard and frowned when he saw it half empty. “Wonwoo, petal, did you take all the rugs?” He called out and laughed a little. The fox amused him every day with his little quirks and behaviours. He must be too cold at night.

 

“Come out petal,” Junhui said as he leaned over the couch again. “I told you it’s fine. You aren’t in trouble.” Wonwoo’s dark eyes sparkled with the unshed tears of his fear and trauma but he smiled though them when he saw Junhui’s loving gaze.

 

“Come and see,” he said as he climbed back over and pulled Junhui by the arm towards his den. He smiled shyly as he pulled back the door and showed Junhui his nest of blankets and sheets with Baby nestled in the middle. He waited expectantly for Junhui’s approval and held his breath while the man looked inside.

 

“Wow, petal you’ve made such a nice bed for Baby, you’re so clever,” Junhui ruffled the fox’s hair and rubbed his ears as the hybrid beamed with pride. He wasn’t in trouble, Junhui really meant it, he could use all the things he wanted. And, better than that, Junhui was proud of him for making such a nice nest. He’d never felt pride or satisfaction before but it warmed him inside all the way down to his toes. He was proud of himself too, not just for building a nice nest, but for trusting Junhui and being brave. It was a nice feeling.

 

Junhui walked back into the kitchen in a bit of a daze. Wonwoo was acting strange and had been for a few days. He was so clingy, clutching on to Junhui’s clothes every chance he could, mouthing and licking at his face more than usual. And Junhui had seen him watching him shower; of that he was certain. And now the hoarding of all the bedding and making his den nicer. It added up to something but Junhui wasn’t sure what yet.

 

He filled the sink and watched Wonwoo through the doorway. He’d fetched his Baby from the den and was pacing around with it clutched to his chest. His ears were pert and his legs were still bare, thin and white, the milky expanse of exposed skin making Junhui’s heartbeat quicken in his chest. Guilt churned in his stomach but it wasn’t enough to override the attraction he felt for the fox. 

 

He let the dishes run through his fingers as he washed them distractedly. He didn’t know how many times Wonwoo was going to walk past the doorway, how many times he already had, but he did know that every time he wandered past Junhui’s gaze his hoodie seemed to ride up higher. 

 

Maybe it was just his imagination. Maybe they just needed to get out of the house.

 

 


	23. Cheap cherry blossoms and constant craving

 

 

“Wonwoo, do you want to walk through the park and down to the shops by the school? “ Junhui called out from the kitchen. He decided he might as well kiss goodbye to the last of his meagre savings and buy Wonwoo some things for his little den. Maybe he just needed some things of his own. Junhui wasn’t going to make the same mistakes all over again after seeing how much the little fox loved his Baby.

 

Silence greeted him and he wondered if the fox maybe just wanted to stay home. He reached for a towel and began to dry his hands when Wonwoo bounded into the kitchen with his collar in his hands. “Yes please!” He said brightly as he pushed the collar towards Junhui who took it with a smile at the hybrids enthusiasm. “Not yet,” he said as he wrapped an arm around Wonwoo and guided him out of the kitchen. “First you need to put on some pants.”

 

An hour later they walked along the street towards the park. It was a beautiful winters day but the streets were almost deserted. Wonwoo’s eyes sparkled and the glimmer was matched by the gems on his collar blinking in the cold winter sunlight. His cheeks were flushed with the cold despite the jacket and scarf Junhui had wrapped him in. The fox had refused a hat as soon as he felt the unfamiliar sensation crushing his ears. He wore his collar but no leash, instead he clutched at Junhui’s hand and swung their arms as they walked. His other hand clung to his Baby which he insisted on bringing along.

 

The little row of shops was nothing special. There was a tiny grocery shop, a second hand shop, a laundromat and a variety shop that sold all sorts of cheap junk. Junhui knew it was a pretty dismal outing, he didn’t have the car to drive Wonwoo to the modern brightly lit mall, or the money to take him somewhere special. Wonwoo seemed unbothered though. He clung to Junhui’s hand and chattered excitedly like a toddler as they walked into the second hand shop and began to rummage around.

 

“These things all smell weird,” Wonwoo giggled as he picked up a soft fleece rug. “If you like something I’ll buy it and wash it at home. Then it won’t smell weird anymore,” Junhui smiled as he watched Wonwoo inspect the shelves full of blankets and rugs before his eyes lit up. “Can Baby Have this?” He asked as he pulled a beautiful coral fleece baby blanket from the shelf. It was pastel pink and edged with satin ribbon and Junhui indulged him immediately. He would give Wonwoo whatever he wanted.

 

Finally, with a bag filled with a huge thick feather-stuffed quilt, they made their way to the variety store. They walked in and Wonwoo’s eyes widened. He’d never seen anything so wonderful.

 

Junhui hung back and let the fox take the lead. He had a red plastic basked clutched in his hands and he looked like a child on Christmas Day. Which he was, in many ways, so childlike and so deprived of luxuries and pleasures anyone should expect. Junhui watched his fingers trace the cheap silken petals of a fake sprig of cherry blossom and when the fox turned a little Junhui nodded. The flowers went in the basket quicker than Junhui could nod. 

 

He followed the fox and smiled to himself as Wonwoo added a big bunch of fake sunflowers and a little red satin cushion. Junhui suddenly had an idea and pulled Wonwoo down an aisle and towards a big stand of fairy lights. “Do you want me to make you a night sky?” He asked and Wonwoo nodded quickly. Junhui added a few strings and led the fox towards the register to pay for their stuff.

 

Weighed down with two bags, Junhui led Wonwoo towards the tiny grocery. They chose pork and vegetables and rice for dinner and headed back towards home with their bags filled with their treasures. Wonwoo skipped along besides Junhui and suddenly stopped when he noticed the man struggling with the bags. “I can help...” he said and for once Junhui let him. He let him take the bag of flowers and fairy lights and they walked along in silence.

 

He let Wonwoo take his bags into his room and into the den while he began to braise the pork. After a while Junhui figured he should go and check on him and he found the little fox sitting forlorn in front of the den. Tears streaked his cheeks and Junhui’s chest clenched at the sight. No matter what he’d been though, how painful his memories were and how deep his scars ran, junhui had never seen the fox cry. “Petal,” He crooned softly as the fox slowly turned around and hid his face in his sleeve. 

 

“I c-can’t do t-this...” as soon as he opened his mouth. Wonwoo broke, his trembling body shivering as it was racked with sobs, his breath coming in shaky and out barely. Junhui pulled him as close as he possibly could as they sat on the floor in front of the den. Junhui held him and the fox cried until he couldn’t cry any more and Junhui wondered if he even knew why he was crying. Was it something recent or was he finally allowing himself to open the wounds of his past and cleanse them of the pain and the rot that they trapped inside? Junhui rocked him on his lap until the soft sobs became sniffs and finally stopped.

 

“I’m sorry,” Wonwoo whispered and Junhui stroked his head. He ran his fingers gently around the edge of his ears, where dark fur met soft pink flesh, and buried his nose in the scent of the hybrids hair. “Don’t be sorry,” he said as he nuzzled into the shiny dark locks as they curled around his nose. “It’s okay to cry. It makes you feel better.”

 

Wonwoo’s face was puffy, his eyes red rimmed and tired, the glow of his smile ethereal. Junhui had climbed into his den and helped him string the lights up all over the roof and stick the flowers around the edge and when it was done Wonwoo yipped with happiness. His den was beautiful with flowers and blankets and the soft silky pillow that felt cool on his face. Most of all he loved having Junhui inside his space and he was hit with a sudden and unexpected craving to find out what it felt like to sleep next to the man. To put his head on his chest and curl up with his brush lazing languidly across their bare bodies as their heartbeats fell slowly in sync. To snuggle the man deep inside his nest and keep him warm all night as they slept in a warm pile.

 

The craving hit him hard and hot and he couldn’t contain it. He threw himself into Junhui’s arms and wrapped himself around the man as they sat inside the den. No one spoke as Wonwoo pushed himself into Junhui’s space and nosed his neck and chin. His tongue darted out, desperate to taste the skin of the man who made him feel safe, soft little licks satisfying his urgent craving. His lips pursed and poured into a gentle kiss as he mouthed Junhui’s jaw and the man stroked his hair.

 

“I have to check the food...” Junhui said as he gently shifted the fox from his lap. “Are you okay now?” Wonwoo nodded and Junhui crawled out of the den and went back into the kitchen.

 

 

He hid around the corner and tried to slow his breathing. He couldn’t do this, it was getting harder and harder to resist, the heat of the gorgeous squirmy little fox in his lap. The gentle press of lips into his skin. The eyes black as ink which seemed to be asking for something intangible and incomprehensible. Wonwoo needed answers and he couldn’t even ask the questions.

 

Junhui sighed as he turned to the stove and stirred the braised pork and vegetables. He had to stay strong and push his urges deep down where they couldn’t hurt anyone. He wouldn’t hurt Wonwoo for anything.

 

 


	24. the little fox likes to watch - but we already knew that

 

 

 

“Wonwoo,” Junhui called out as he stood at the back door, “I need to ask you something.” He waited with his eyes searching the yard before the slight rustle of leaves announced the fox’s movements. He dropped from the big tree into the grass, noiseless and weightless, and scampered over towards Junhui’s open arms. He was so affectionate lately, seemingly unable to be in Junhui’s space without seeking out his touch, his nose always in Junhui’s neck as his ears tickled his chin.

 

“Petal, I have to ask you something, and it’s okay to say no.” Junhui’s hand went to Wonwoo’s hair to search for the soft fuzzy edge of an ear and when he found it and rubbed it he felt Wonwoo melt against him. “Can we have friends over for dinner tonight?” Wonwoo’s eyes narrowed as he pulled out of Junhui’s arms. “Soonyoung?” He asked and Junhui shook his head. “Minghao. He wants to bring someone over. Someone he wants me to meet.”

 

Junhui never expected Wonwoo to agree. He was skittish around Minghao at the best of times, for reasons Junhui never really understood, and the prospect of a stranger in the house wasn’t going to sit well either. Wonwoo searched Junhui’s face, reading the anticipation of him saying no, the hopeful glimmer of him saying yes. The urge to see Junhui happy overrode the fox’s shyness and he nodded. “Minghao can come. Will you make rabbits?” “No Petal,” Junhui smiled that broad happy grin that made Wonwoo feel warm inside. “I don’t think we need to scare Minghao and his friend away by serving them up a rabbit.”

 

This confused Wonwoo a little. Rabbits were delicious. He thought everyone liked rabbit.

 

“Chicken?” he asked hopefully and Junhui nodded. “Chicken it is! With rice? How about chicken and cashew?” Wonwoo jumped up and down at the thought of his favourite stir fry and followed Junhui into the house clutching at the back of his hoodie.

 

 

 

At the familiar sound of Minghao’s van Wonwoo began to hackle. “Shhh...” Junhui ran a soothing hand down the back of his head, lingering across his nape, “it’s going to be fine.” Wonwoo wasn’t so sure. He didn’t mind Minghao coming into their home but he better not touch Junhui or even think about going near his den. He wouldn’t be able to stand it.

 

“Hi,” Minghao smiled as he walked in. He leaned over to hug Junhui, thought better of it, and just nodded instead. “Hi Wonwoo,” he said as he smiled gently at the little fox clinging to Junhui’s hoodie. “This is Mingyu.” The man who followed Minghao into the house was _huge_. Wonwoo’s nose tested the air, finding the scents of Minghao and Mingyu muddled together with something familiar but unknown, confusing his sense of who was who. “Nice to meet you Junhui,” Mingyu bowed politely as he shook the man’s hand and his eyes widened when he caught a full view of the fox hiding behind Junhui shyly. “Wow,” Mingyu breathed softly as his eyes wandered all over Wonwoo’s face and ears. “Cute.” He turned to Minghao with eyes sparkling full of delight. “Hao! He’s so cute!” 

 

Wonwoo felt more comfortable than he had before. Minghao’s attention was unwavering from Mingyu as they sat next to each other around the tiny dining table. Wonwoo watched them, observing them curiously, their interactions drawing his attention. They were always touching, hands on knees or arms around shoulders, eyes heavy with flirtation and lust. Wonwoo could smell it on them. He began to relax a little as Minghao’s attention focused on the tall man seated next to him but after they ate Minghao gave Junhui a pointed look and they began to gather the dishes.

 

“Wonwoo, Petal,” Junhui whispered, “I’m just going to clean up a little with Minghao. I’ll be back in a minute.” Wonwoo’s longing gaze followed them all the way into the kitchen until they disappeared behind the door.

 

“So...” Mingyu said a little awkwardly, “how long have you been here with Junhui?” “I’m not sure,” Wonwoo said as his eyes downcast at the table. “I can’t count days. I think he said two months.” Mingyu smiled and the strange scent that lingered on him began to unpack itself in Wonwoo’s mind. Now that Minghao was gone and the scent of attraction was clearing Wonwoo was able to pinpoint why he felt comfortable with Mingyu so quickly. “How many dogs do you have?” the fox asked and the man laughed loudly displaying an endearing row of odd looking teeth. “I’m a dog walker. It’s what I do for a job. Training, walking, looking after them when their owners go away. I love dogs. They’re my life.”

 

“Can I?” Mingyu held his hand out and Wonwoo sniffed it tentatively. Mingyu held it still as the fox scented the hand and inhaled deeply against the pulsing throb of his wrist before shuffling closer. He leaned his head towards Mingyu in a clear display of affirmation and closed his eyes as Mingyu reached up and stroked his ears one at a time. “So cute...” he whispered before stopping and waiting for the little fox to open his eyes. “I suppose we don’t know each other well enough for me to rub your belly?” Mingyu asked and Wonwoo laughed out loud catching them both by surprise.

 

 

“So,” Minghao smiled at Junhui, uncharacteristic in his sudden shyness, “What do you think?” “He seems great,” Junhui enthused. He meant it. Mingyu seemed nice and Junhui had never known anyone to hold Minghao’s attention longer than a day or two so he must really be something special. The silence coming from the other room was a little unnerving but it was suddenly broke by a raucous laughter and Junhui was sure it was Wonwoo’s. “Told ya,” Minghao winked at Junhui’s surprised expression, “he’s amazing!”

 

 

The movie flickered in the darkness as Junhui and Wonwoo curled up on the couch. Minghao and Mingyu were squashed onto the old two seater by the window and the lights were off. Wonwoo snuggled close onto Junhui’s lap, his head resting comfortably on Junhui’s thighs, soothing hands trailing through his hair the way he liked it. The darkness meant nothing to Wonwoo as his glowing amber irises cut through the night. He watched in silent fascination as Mingyu hauled Minghao closer until he was seated in his lap. He watched Mingyu lean forward to whisper something in the other man’s ear making Minghao giggle in an especially endearing way. When Minghao turned his face towards Mingyu Wonwoo frowned in confusion. He’d never seen anyone mouth like that. Maybe Minghao was looking for more food? He felt like he should get up and push the bowl of popcorn over towards them but then he noticed Mingyu was searching Minghao’s mouth just as intensely.

 

Wonwoo looked up at Junhui’s mouth and wondered what it would feel like to lick inside it. It made him shiver a little and he laid back down across Junhui’s lap. “Cold?” Junhui asked quietly as he pulled at a throw run to wrap around the fox. The fox snuggled closer as he watched Mingyu mouthing at Minghao’s neck. It was a lot like the way he did it, whining and licking when he was hungry or sorry or just wanted to. But he saw Mingyu use more lips, softer and slower, biting a little and using his teeth. Mingyu was great at mouthing, Wonwoo could tell, because Minghao really seemed to be enjoying it. 

 

Junhui wasn’t. As Wonwoo watched on in quiet curiosity Junhui shifted uncomfortably and threw a cushion at the others. “Get a room,” he grumbled in the darkness as Mingyu seemed contrite and Minghao just laughed.

 

The noise of the movie filled the silence again but still Wonwoo watched. He was drawn in fascination to the display of affection and attraction playing out in front of him. He’d never seen anything like it. He watched Mingyu’s hand trail from Minghao’s side down the outside of his thigh before curling around to caress the inside. Minghao whimpered a little and leaned into the touch, his tongue flicking across his bottom lip, his heartrate increasing a little. 

 

Wonwoo recognised the scent filling the room. The scent of man’s arousal. The scent he found so irresistible when he detected it seeping out from under Junhui’s bedroom door. He could smell Minghao and Mingyu, similar but different, their scents and breath matching and reciprocal.

 

“I think we’ll call it a night,” Minghao said suddenly. He got up and Mingyu plastered himself to Minghao’s back as they gathered their things and dressed in their jackets. “Thanks for having us,” Mingyu grinned. “It was so nice to meet you both,” he took a covered plate of leftovers from Junhui and winked at Wonwoo who blushed and hid behind Junhui’s hoodie. “Hope you’re still here next time we come over!” Mingyu grinned and Minghao elbowed him gently in the side.

 

 

They waved them away at the doorstep before closing themselves inside again. “Wow,” Junhui said softly as he embraced the little fox. “You handled that so well,” “Mingyu was nice. But why was he licking the inside of Minghao’s mouth?” Wonwoo said as he stared at Junhui. “He seemed to be liking it though,” Wonwoo shuffled back towards the couch. He was swallowed up in a huge fluffy hoodie and tracksuit pants and the fuzzy socks on his feet detached from his usually graceful gait. Junhui didn’t know what to say. He just followed Wonwoo back to the couch.

 

When he settled back by Junhui’s side Wonwoo found his curiously stirring in his stomach. He looked up at Junhui fixated on the movie and decided to ask again. “Junhui, why were Minghao and Mingyu licking each other like that?” “Well Petal,” Junhui took a deep breath as he chose his words carefully. “Mingyu and Minghao like each other a lot.” “Oh!” Wonwoo grinned brightly at that. “Like us! I like you Junhui.” Junhui had to smile at that. He couldn’t resist. “I like you too Wonwoo. But sometimes when two people like each other a lot they want to kiss. And other stuff...” 

 

Kiss? Wonwoo didn’t understand. But he did understand the implications of Junhui’s soft words. ‘Two people’ meant two people, not a man and a hybrid, and Wonwoo’s curiosity was thwarted before it had even really sprung into life. What Mingyu and Minghao had, the closeness and the heavily scented heat of arousal, there was no place for Wonwoo in that world. The realisation left an aching emptiness inside the fox. He wanted to find out what the inside of Junhui tasted like and what made it so exciting to taste someone else’s mouth. But only Junhui’s. No one else’s.

 

 

* no update next week*

 

 

 


	25. Wonwoo’s primal instincts arise and awaken

 

 

Wonwoo felt strange. His sleep had been restless and unsatisfying and as much as he’d tossed and scratched at his nest it just felt too hot and oppressive.

 

He stalked Junhui around the house as he got ready for his regular dawn run. “I don’t think I’ll run today,” Wonwoo said softly as he watched Junhui lace his sneakers. “I don’t feel well.” 

 

Junhui eyed him with concern before pressing a cool hand to his forehead. “Warm...” Junhui mumbled, “maybe you’re coming down with something. Do you want me to stay home?” Wonwoo did. He desperately wanted to cling to Junhui’s shirt and cry for him to never leave his sight but he knew he was being silly. “No,” he said as he pulled away, “run with Soonyoung.”

 

He paced incessantly as he waited for Junhui to leave. The hot sick feeling wouldn’t leave him and he began to sweat a little. “Here,” Junhui pressed his cup into his hands. “Drink this before I go.” Wonwoo sipped at the water and tried to keep it together and finally relaxed a little. Until the arrival of Soonyoung’s car in the driveway triggered something deep inside. He paced and growled as Junhui stared at him. He circled near the door, every hair on him standing on end, sweat glimmering across his brow as he seethed and snarled. “Petal?” Junhui approached him softly as the snarl turned feral, “Do you want me to stay?”

 

Wonwoo turned and his dark eyes flashed as he crowded Junhui towards the corner. His breath was coming in and out in fast and frantic gasps. He pressed himself against Junhui and leaned in close enough to smell his skin and he inhaled and closed his eyes as they clouded over with a little aggression and way to much possession. Every instinct he had told him to trap Junhui with his body, to protect him against the intruder, to keep him safe and for himself. When he realised Junhui was trembling he snapped out of it. “Sorry,” he mumbled, ashamed of himself, he had swore he would never make Junhui afraid of him.

 

“Go run,” he said as he turned to hide in his den. Junhui thought about following him but in the end he let the little fox have his space. He just stood, slightly shaken, watching him disappear into his room and into his den.

 

 

When he returned the house was silent. “Wonwoo?” he called out as he lifted his shirt to wipe the sweat from his forehead. “Wonwoo? Where are you petal?” He usually wouldn’t intrude but he had to know he was okay. When he unzipped the door to the blue tent he was hit with a wall of damp oppressive heat.

 

“Oh.... Wonwoo are you okay?” The little fox was pressed up against the back of the tent. His hair was damp with sweat and he was wearing nothing but one of Junhui’s T-shirts. “D-don’t come closer...” the fox panted as a sickly sweet smell hit Junhui’s nostrils. “Okay...” Junhui backed away from the doorway. “I won’t come in. But I need to call someone to help you. Can I do anything to make you feel better?” Junhui was worried and knew he had to call a hybrid doctor. Wonwoo was really sick. “Wait..” Wonwoo called out, his voice thick and hoarse, “I want something.” “Anything,” Junhui said quickly as he turned back to the tent. “C-can I have your tshirt please? The one you’re wearing?” Junhui frowned in confusion but pulled the sweat soaked shirt off and tossed it into the tent where the fox snatched it up and pressed it to his face.

 

 

“Sorry Hao, it’s an emergency, otherwise I wouldn’t ask.” Minghao said he understood and he did. Junhui never took sick leave unless something was really wrong. Junhui hung the phone up and dialled the number of the first hybrid doctor he found and breathed a sigh of relief when he said he would come right away.

 

 

“Thank you for coming,” Junhui said when he opened the door. “No trouble at all,” the doctor said as he walked inside. He was handsome with a kind face and a little black carry bag which he placed on the dining table. “I’m Doctor Hong. Can we sit?”

 

Junhui quickly filled out the paperwork and handed it over for the doctors inspection. “A fox? Very unusual,” Doctor Hong mused as he read the information Junhui had supplied. “Age unknown, history unknown, it’s not ideal but I guess the best thing is to just have a look at him.”

 

Junhui went to the doorway of the tent and opened it again. Wonwoo was curled up with Junhui’s dirty workout tshirt pressed against his face and a hand under his tshirt. “Wonwoo,” Junhui called softly as he tried not to stare. “I’ve brought a Doctor here. He’s going to make you feel better.” “Better?” Wonwoo echoed as he sat up. His nose tested the air as he crawled towards Junhui and held his hands out. “Stay with me. Don’t leave me...” tears streaked his face as he fell into Junhui’s arms and the man immediately felt the force of his illness. His body felt like it was on fire as Junhui helped the little fox out of the den.

 

Doctor Hong took one look at the fox and smiled. “I know exactly what this is. I’ll just check a few things out though,” Wonwoo clutched at Junhui’s hand as the doctor took his temperature by poking a device in his ear. He hissed at him when the doctor lifted the hem of his tshirt to check what was underneath but the doctor was unbothered. “Congratulations,” he beamed at Junhui. “He’s a late bloomer, you were probably getting impatient, but your hybrid had finally gone into heat.” Junhui scowled a little as he tried to process what the doctor was saying. “What? Like... in heat?” He’d barely skimmed over the vague information in the hybrid pamphlets he’d been given by the pet store. Wonwoo blinked at Junhui, then the doctor, before scuttling off back into the safety of his den.

 

“Yes. I assume you’ve been waiting patiently for a while?” The doctor smiled at Junhui who vehemently shook his head. “No, what kind of sick pervert do you think I am?” “Oh, I am sorry, I just assumed...” the doctor suddenly seemed very uncomfortable. “I am sorry. Hybrid owners usually get their hybrids neutered before their first heat if they aren’t, erm, interested in them in that way. Or they have a breeding pair. I just assumed because you only have him that you would be, um, excited about this. It’s quite normal and common, sexual relations between hybrids and their owners, and nothing to be ashamed of.”

 

Junhui sighed. “Can you give him something? Something to make him feel better? Like a pill or injection for something?” The doctor chuckled a little as he stood up and collected his bag. “I’m sorry. He’ll get through it with plenty of fluids and a fair amount of pain. But there’s only one thing that’s going to make him feel better.” He didn’t have to spell it out. Junhui knew what he was implying.

 

“Do you take bank transfer?” Junhui asked as he pulled his phone out and Doctor Hong handed over a card with his details. “If he isn’t back to normal in three days call me. Being late to mature, and this being his first heat, he’s really going to struggle. Unless you’re prepared to be a fully responsible pet owner and help him.” “Isn’t that, I don’t know, using him?” Junhui whispered as he looked around conspiratorially. “No,” the doctor laughed again as he opened the front door, “his body is struggling but he’s fully lucid and coherent. He’s able to consent if that’s what you’re worried about. See you next time.”

 

The doctor was gone.

 

 

 

Junhui didn’t know what to do.

 

What was the right thing to do?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	26. cold hands warm heart

 

 

 

In the end he did the only thing he could. He called Soonyoung and told him it was an emergency and the man was at his door in ten minutes.

 

“What’s the big emergency?” Soonyoung asked Junhui opened the door. “And why couldn’t you tell me over the phone?” “It’s Wonwoo,” Junhui whispered. “He’s.... h-he’s gone into heat and he’s sick.”

 

Soonyoung’s face dropped into a sad scowl. “Heat?” He walked in and looked around for the fox before it dawned on him what Junhui was saying. “Oh. In heat? Did you call a Doctor?” “Of course I called a doctor. Do you know what he told me? That there was only one thing that would make him feel better. Well, he didn’t exactly say it, but he definitely implied it. He needs to mate.”

 

Soonyoung’s face twisted again, from a scowl into a smile, and he began to giggle as he settled onto the couch. “Well what are your waiting for? And why am I here?” Junhui waited for it to drop and when it did Soonyoung shook his head. “No way. No, nope, definitely not.” He got up and Junhui grabbed him by the arm. “Please? Please Soonyoung he likes you. He doesn’t like anyone else...” “He likes you just fine,” Soonyoung interrupted him as he got his car keys out of his pocket. “You do it.”

 

“I can’t.” Junhui stared at the ground. He dragged his toe across the carpet as he felt Soonyoung’s eyes burning into him. “I-I just can’t.” Soonyoung didn’t have to ask why. He knew. He knew better than anyone how strong Junhui’s feelings were for the little grey fox. He knew he loved him dearly and he knew he was going to struggle to let him go as it was. He knew that doing this was opening a door to a world that was filled with pain and grief and suffering. When he heard the fox cry out in pain from his den he sighed with resignation. “Fine,” he said as he put his keys back down. “But this is weird. I’m only doing this because he needs it so don’t get all jealous and possessive on me.”

 

“He’s in there,” Junhui said as he showed Soonyoung to the den. “Hi Wonwoo,” Soonyoung called out gently as he opened the door of the tent and leaned inside. The wall of heat hit him like a brick as the damp atmosphere overwhelmed him. “Don’t come in,” Wonwoo hissed aggressively as he backed up against the back of the tent. The hairs on his ears were standing on end and his tail was curled tightly behind him. “I’ve come to help you,” he said as he moved a little closer and Wonwoo began to howl.

 

“No,” the little fox sobbed into the dirty tshirt he was still clutching, “no don’t come in. I want Junhui....” his breath was coming in short sharp gasps as he pushed himself into the back of the tent. “I only want Junhui,” he sobbed and trembled and Soonyoung shook his head.

 

“This is too weird. Sorry Jun, he only wants you, I’m not game to even try and get any closer.” Soonyoung patted him on the shoulder as he walked off to get his keys and he was gone just like that. It was only when his car pulled out of the driveway that Wonwoo’s howling sobs slowed down to a soft sniffle.

 

 

Junhui remembered what everyone had told him. He remembered Soonyoung telling him to stop pushing Wonwoo away, to give him the love and care he needed, the comfort his body craved. He remembered the doctor telling him Wonwoo was fully able to consent, that he needed it to be well, that it was a normal thing to do. He took a deep breath in and out before crawling into the tent.

 

“Hi Petal,” he said and Wonwoo brightened immediately. “Junhui,” he dropped the dirty tshirt and crawled across the pile of blankets into Junhui’s arms. Junhui could smell him, the sweet scent of his slick was strong and sickly, his eyes couldn’t avoid the swollen erection bulging out from under his tshirt. His hair was stuck to his skin with sweat and tears streaked his cheeks. “Poor Petal,” Junhui crooned softly as he stroked his hair and Wonwoo began to shake with excitement and pleasure. “Will you lay with me?” he asked with shining eyes. “I showed you what a nice nest I can make. You said I did a good job. And I always take good care of Baby you know that...”

 

Junhui nodded his agreement. “Yes. You did make the best nest I’ve ever seen. And you do take such good care of Baby.” He ran a tentative hand down Wonwoo’s back before stroking his tail and the sound that escaped the little fox’s mouth was sinful. “Junhui...” he breathed as Junhui stroked his tail and Wonwoo shuddered with pleasure. Junhui could feel the fire in his body and the heat of the erection pressing against his stomach and he knew he had to do it. More than had to, he wanted to, as soon as he admitted it to himself he knew. He wanted it so bad.

 

“Come on,” he said as he took Wonwoo’s hand in his. It must be the only place on the fox’s body that was cold to the touch. “I don’t want to leave the den,” Wonwoo whined and buried his face into Junhui shoulder but the man knew he had to get him out of here. “Let’s take a nice bath,” Junhui said as he began to shift and move the fox to the door. “Then you can come and lay with me in my bed. Would you like that? It’s a lot cooler.” To his relief Wonwoo nodded and followed him out of the den and only then did Junhui see what a state he was in. He was a mess.

 

He led him into the bathroom and began to peel the damp clothing from the fox’s body while the bathtub filled with water. He lifted the shirt off Wonwoo and tossed it aside and ran hands down his arms as he stared into his eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you, or scare you, I’d never forgive myself if I did something bad to you,” Junhui said softly as the fox stared back at him with sparkling eyes. “I trust you Junhui,” the fox said softly as a small smile danced across his face. “I know you won’t hurt me.”

 

When the fox stepped into the water Junhui made a decision. He began to strip his own clothing and discard it into the hamper. When he was naked he stepped into the water and slid in behind the fox. The heat of his body was less oppressive in the water and, to his relief, Wonwoo leaned back into the closeness. He grabbed a jug and poured water over Wonwoo’s hair to wet it and began to lather the sweat away, his fingers working gently at his scalp and ears, the noises coming from the fox’s mouth a symphony of pleasures. 

 

He rinsed carefully and Wonwoo leaned back against Junhui’s chest as he handed him a bottle of shower gel. “Wash me please,” he begged and the need in his voice was heavy and pleading. Junhui rubbed the soap all over Wonwoo’s shoulders and back, under his arms and down his chest. “Lower,” the fox urged him breathlessly as whimpers of pain slipped out and Junhui obliged. He ran his fingers lightly across Wonwoo’s stomach and felt him arch into the touch. “Lower.... please, Junhui, it hurts....” Wonwoo pleaded and when Junhui touched his cock he came instantly. He grabbed it and milked him gently watching in fascination as Wonwoo’s cum spilled into the bath water and the fox groaned with relief. He arched his back and leaned into the touch and when he was done his head fell backwards onto Junhui’s shoulder

 

“Thank you Jun,” the fox whispered as he turned to face Junhui. His hands went to press against Junhui’s cheeks as he stared at the man’s lips. “I know you told me I could ask for anything I wanted,” his eyes dropped down and Junhui could feel them on him, taking in his naked skin and his own arousal visible below the bubbles. He remembered the fox watching him shower, showing himself off, mouthing at him in a desperate display of need for affection. He suddenly didn’t feel so guilty anymore.

 

“I know you said it was only for ‘people’ but I want to ask you to kiss me. Please.....” the fox dropped his eyes shyly again as if he was afraid to speak the words. “I-I want you to lick me like Minghao licked Mingyu.” His voice shook and broke a little as he lost whatever nerve he’d summoned to ask. “Unless you don’t want to.”

 

Junhui was so sick of his own stupidity. This precious creature before him knew only how to take his words literally and he really needed to chose them more carefully. He never meant to imply that there were things in the world that weren’t for Wonwoo. He never meant to tell him there was anything he wouldn’t do for him. “I want to,” he whispered as he leaned forward and bathwater sloshed out as their lips pressed together. 

 

Junhui lost himself instantly. All the feelings he’d been repressing came flooding to the surface. He raised a hand to cup Wonwoo’s cheek as his tongue licked gently into the little fox’s mouth and when their tongues met he felt the other shiver. Wonwoo’s tongue was raspy and rough, the feeling of it stroking against his made Junhui shudder with pleasure, the sensual feeling leading his imagination down another path. “Let’s get out of the bath” he said breathlessly as they pulled apart and Wonwoo nodded. 

 

The water was getting cold anyway.

 

 


	27. A perfect afternoon for washing

 

 

Junhui pulled the covers back on his bed while Wonwoo looked around. “Sorry, you’ve never really been in here before, have you?” He said when he noticed Wonwoo’s fascination. “Sometimes I come in here when you’re at work,” Wonwoo said as he moved in close to Junhui. “I like the way your bed smells when it’s still warm....”

 

He crowded close and dropped his towel and Junhui could feel he was hard again. “I like to scent your sheets, I can smell you in here when I’m alone, it makes me feel good... happy...” his body was burning up and Junhui’s fingertips danced lightly down his sides. Wonwoo’s skin felt scalding hot and his eyes looked like they were glazing over and he suddenly grabbed at his stomach. “It hurts again,” he groaned as he began to thrust against Junhui’s body. “Please, help me, I want you Junhui.” His arms clung to Junhui’s neck as he rutted his feverish body against the man and all he could think of was getting naked with the hybrid nestled in his embrace.

 

Junhui dropped his towel and the burn of their naked skin was like pure fire. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered again as he drew Wonwoo over to the bed. “I trust you,” Wonwoo said as he pushed Junhui down and climbed on top of him. “Can I take another kiss please?” he asked as his deep dark eyes burned right into Junhui’s soul and he just nodded. 

 

He let the little fox take what he wanted. His guilt was dampened by the fox’s enthusiasm as he kissed Junhui long and slow. Junhui could feel the leak of his slick warm against his leg but the sickly smell had turned fresh and sweet and so alluring. He kept his hands soft and gentle as Wonwoo broke their kiss and mouthed reverently at his jaw before smiling shyly at the man underneath him. “Can I lick you? Please?” he asked and Junhui nodded. The feeling of his raspy rough tongue lapping at his neck and shoulder was like nothing he’d ever felt before. He bit down on his bottom lip to hold in the noises threatening to escape and Wonwoo stared into his eyes again.

 

“Why do you do that?” Wonwoo asked him and Junhui frowned in confusion. “Do what?” “Hold it in. Those noises. I hear you at night, I like to listen to you through the door, I can always hear you holding back.” His mouth was on Junhui’s skin again and the man twisted in ecstasy. The feeling of Wonwoo’s mouth making its way down his stomach was incredible. “Can I scent you?” Wonwoo asked and Junhui didn’t know what he meant but he nodded his agreement anyway. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t let Wonwoo do to him in that moment.

 

Wonwoo pressed his face deep into Junhui’s crotch and inhaled sharply. He exhaled slowly as he nosed gently into Junhui’s short tangle of public hair and Junhui arched in pleasure. Hot breath washed over his cock before Wonwoo nuzzled into him and inhaled again. It was so intense he couldn’t hold it in anymore and he moaned loudly and thrust his fingers deep into the little fox’s hair. 

 

“Can I taste it?” Wonwoo asked and Junhui nodded again. The rough tongue darted out of Wonwoo’s mouth and lapped at the precum dripping from Junhui’s cock and all he could do was moan into the sensation. His hands carded through Wonwoo’s hair before becoming bolder and gently stroking his soft fuzzy ears and when he rubbed the tip of one between his fingers Wonwoo moaned around his cock. It was overwhelming, the sensation bordering on overstimulation, and Junhui quickly begged Wonwoo to stop. “I-I need to hold on...” he gasped as Wonwoo released him. “I want to be inside you. Is that what you want Wonwoo?”

 

Wonwoo nodded and for the first time ever the smile on his face was uncontainable. It broke across his face with a freedom Junhui had never seen before. “Are you finally going to mate me?” Wonwoo yipped in delight and his tail curled up as he quickly moved onto his hands and knees. Junhui was stunned at how breathtaking the sight was. Wonwoo was still slight and delicate, the thin curve of his waist, the gentle slope of his back so beautiful and perfect. Junhui had to touch. He reached out and ran hands down the perfect curve of his ass and thighs, using his thumbs to part Wonwoo’s cheeks gently, his mouth watering at the sight of his hole shiny and slick and waiting.

 

“Not like this Petal,” he said as gently as he could, “I want you to turn around. I want to see your face.”

 

Wonwoo rolled under him and lay back on the pillows and this was the final straw. Junhui had never seen anything so beautiful and so arousing. Wonwoo’s thin body, his pale skin and pink nipples, the thick thatch of dark hair below his bellybutton. It was all for him. And so he gave in. He had known all along this was where they were headed, ever since that day when destiny threw him at the mercy of the little grey fox’s charms, the universe conspiring to drive them together. The last wall between them came tumbling down. Junhui pressed a finger inside Wonwoo and waited for him to wince, to flinch, but all he got was the fox’s legs spread wider. He was so wet and so willing, his body crying out for Junhui to be inside it, he knew he wouldn’t have to prep him at all.

 

“I love you Petal,” he said as he gripped the base of his erection and pushed inside him. The tight clench of muscle accepted him willingly, less like an intrusion, more like he belonged. Like their bodies were made for each other. “I love you too Jun,” Wonwoo said as he relaxed at the fullness inside him. This was what his body had been craving for. Even before he realised it. It wasn’t just the heat and the hormones. It was his heart driving him to mother and nest and display himself. It was his love for Junhui wanting more than just affection. This was what he needed to live, to survive, to flourish.

 

He arched his back and drove his body down to meet Junhui’s slow gentle thrusts. His breath caught in his chest and sweat dripped from his temples as he whined and clawed and clung to Junhui’s body like his life depended on it. He could feel the slick running between his legs making every slide of Junhui’s cock slip in and out with ease. Nothing had ever felt so wonderful as the feeling of having Junhui as close to him as he possibly could.

 

He began to whine louder as Junhui picked up the pace of his thrusts. “You won’t break me,” he gasped out, his voice hoarse and raspy, his nails dragging down the golden amber skin on Junhui’s back. The heat in his body seemed to be climbing in time with the arousal coiling deep inside his stomach. He whined and clung and clawed as Junhui began to thrust into him harder and faster and just when Wonwoo felt like his fever was going to set him alight he came. He moaned loudly though his orgasm, the most incredible feeling he’d ever experienced, and as the space between their stomachs filled with his cum his fever began to finally subside. His body shivered and shook with pure unadulterated pleasure and he yipped a little in his throat. 

 

Junhui had been using every ounce of self control he possessed to hold back. He felt a rush of relief when Wonwoo arched his body underneath him and came hard, his nails digging into Junhui’s skin, the expression on his face pure wanton ecstasy. As Wonwoo shivered beneath him he thrust deep and hard and came inside him. The feeling was so satisfying, so warm and so wonderful, he couldn’t help but whimper. “Wonwoo...” he whispered as he reached a hand up to stroke the little fox’s ear and he felt him shift underneath his body. “Wonwoo, Petal, I’m so sorry,” his voice husked out as he buried his nose in the pale skin of the hybrids neck. “I really should have pulled out...” Wonwoo shook his head and when Junhui lifted his eyes to meet Wonwoo’s they were clear and bright and sparkling with joy. “No, Jun it was good, just what I needed,” he sighed and smiled and Junhui shifted from on top of him.

 

He laid flat on his back and as soon as he hit the mattress Wonwoo was on him. His rough tongue started at his neck, making quick work of the sweat glistening down to his collarbones, before moving lower. He licked and lapped at the skin of Wonwoo’s stomach and thighs, cleaning them of sweat and cum and slick, his tail curling in satisfaction as he worked quickly and enthusiastically.

 

By the time Wonwoo had completely washed him all over with his tongue Junhui was hard again and Wonwoo climbed on top of him with a giggle. “I like cleaning you,” he breathed as he straddled Junhui’s hips and the sweet scent of his slick filled the air again. And for one brief moment in time, coddled in the hazy glow of late afternoon, everything was perfect.

 

 


	28. What they should have known but didn’t

 

 

He’d slept for a while but now he stirred. Junhui tried to open his eyes in the darkness of 3am but he couldn’t see well and soon realised he couldn’t move. “Jun,” the fox on top of him whispered in a hushed ode to the night’s silence, “Jun, again please?” 

 

The smell of the fox was intoxicating, sweet and enticing, indescribable in its allure. He smelled of sweet fruits and fresh rain, of cloudy mornings and damp grass, of soil and wind and sky. The true nature of him as a wild animal was never more evident than in the raw and beautiful scent seeping from his pores. He was ethereal.

 

“Of course Petal,” Junhui mumbled still half asleep. He tried to shift but the fox pressed down on his chest holding him in place as he began to slowly grind his body on top of Junhui. He was so warm, Junhui basking in the contrast of Wonwoo’s skin against the cool night air, the warm run of his slick cooling on Junhui’s goosebumped skin. He was hard again before he’d even woken up properly.

 

“It’s okay,” Wonwoo said as he shifted and raised himself up on top of Junhui. “I can do it. I know what to do now Jun...” he sank slowly onto Junhui’s erection making the man groan out loud. His back arched uncontrollably under the slow grind of the fox on top of him, Wonwoo’s flesh like fire, his tightly strung muscles working in perfect harmony.

 

Junhui could see his perfection in the cold grey light. Every muscle working in harmony as Wonwoo fucked him slowly, squeezing and rolling, little sighs of pleasure escaping his throat. “A-am I doing it right?” Wonwoo asked as he sank even lower, completely bottoming out on Junhui’s hard cock, his slick leaking down the inside of Junhui’s thighs. 

 

“You’re incredible...” Junhui said as he lost himself in the slick slide of their bodies. The combination of Wonwoo’s skin and his scent, the thick heady hang of hormones in the room, all combined in an erotic pleasure that was almost overwhelming. He didn’t know how else to show his little fox how much he was enjoying himself other than to let go. He began to moan, louder when he saw the glimmer of excitement in Wonwoo’s eyes, thrusting his hips up to meet the fox’s grind. 

 

It wasn’t enough. 

 

He scrambled to sit, pressing their chests close, his arms wrapping around to hold the fox closer. “Jun...” Wonwoo whispered and he wasn’t going to make him ask again. He closed the distance and kissed him hungrily, desperately, as he clung to the fox’s writhing body.

 

He licked deeper into his mouth and reached down to grab his tail. As he stroked the soft fur he felt Wonwoo ride him faster, his breath drawing in sharper, his heat rising even higher. Junhui gripped the tail tight and stroked it firmly, running his hand all the way down to the base, and with one gentle tug the fox came. It was hot on Junhui’s stomach and pushed him over the edge as his own orgasm flowed through every nerve in his body. It was enough to force him to break the kiss and he panted for air as he nibbled at the fox’s jaw and down his soft neck.

 

“Thank you Jun,” Wonwoo chirped brightly as he climbed off and began his now familiar cleaning routine. Junhui closed his eyes and enjoyed the warm rough tongue of the fox as he licked the man’s stomach and thighs and cock clean of slick and sweat and cum. “All done,” he chirped happily when he was finished and Junhui smiled warmly at him. “You need more sleep,” he said and held a hand out but the fox frowned and quickly jumped up. “Sorry,” he said with a touch of guilt, “I’ll go back to my den now, I’m feeling a bit better anyway.” He really was. Junhui had mated him three times now and each time had pulled his fever back a little further and given him a longer period of relief. He’d imposed on the man’s space enough. Wonwoo knew he wasn’t a man, he was a fox, and the fox slept in a den.

 

“Wait,” Junhui’s arm reached out and grabbed him by the wrist. “Please don’t go,” he said in a hushed whisper as he wrapped his fingers around Wonwoo’s skinny wrist. He was so fragile, almost breakable, and Junhui was overwhelmed with an urge to hold, to guard and protect, to sooth and comfort and coddle. “I, um, I want you to sleep in here.” Junhui took a slow breath in and out before he voiced the truth of what he was feeling inside.

 

“I don’t want to sleep alone, Wonwoo, especially when I know you’re so close but so far away.” He pulled the fox, naked and flushed, gently back towards the bed. “If you need the den I’ll come with you but if you want I’d like for you to sleep here with me. All night.”

 

When the fox whined and yipped loudly in delight and buried himself swiftly under the thick covers of Junhui’s bed his heart skipped a beat. Somehow it seemed so right to snuggle him close, bare chests pressed together and hot breath mingling in the cold night, and Junhui tried to push the nature of their relationship aside. He knew their future was uncertain and was suddenly hit with a wave of guilt when he realised he’d taken the fox’s virginity without a second thought.

 

And when he’d asked the fox to sleep beside him all night what he really meant was every night. It felt so good, like the final piece of a puzzle slotting carefully in to complete the whole picture. Wonwoo in his arms, grey ears twitching in his fitful sleep, long brush tail curled possessive and tight around Junhui’s waist. He wanted this every night but the fox needed his freedom, needed to live the life he deserved, needed to run wild and free and vital in the sun and wind and rain. Junhui closed his eyes and comforted himself with the knowledge that at least he’d have his memories. No one could take that from him.

 

Maybe if he knew more about foxes he would have been more careful, more reluctant, more guarded. Maybe he never would have invited the little grey fox to share his body and share his bed. 

 

Because what neither of them knew, although they should have realised, was that when foxes mate they mate for life.


	29. He who dares doesn’t always win

 

The morning brought the first breath of warm air and it chilled Junhui to the bone. It was almost time. 

 

“Wake up Petal,” he poked at the little fox beside him now languid and fluid in his sleep. His skin had returned to its perfect vanilla glow and his hair was now fluffy and full instead of limp and sweaty. “Why wake up?” Wonwoo smiled a little as he rolled over and snuggled closer. “No work today Junhui. You promised.” “Yeah,” the man said a little ruefully as he began to regret making plans. He’d thought the fox would be thrilled but now he knew he wasn’t. “We’re going for a drive with Soonyoung. Some place you’ll like.”

“Drive?” the fox echoed as sat up and his ears flattened against his head. “I don’t like to drive.” “I know baby,” Junhui mused as his hands rumpled the soft dark hair surrounding the fox’s ears. “But you’ll like this place.”

Junhui got up and walked naked across the room to find his clothes. He could feel the eyes of the fox, sharp and dark, burning into him as he found some sweatpants and a t-shirt. “I’m hungry,” the little fox whined softly and that made Junhui smile. “I’ll make some breakfast. You want coffee?” “No,” Wonwoo shook his ears and pouted a little. “I’m thirsty.” Junhui left the bedroom in search of food and something cool and refreshing for his Petal to drink.

He found some apple juice and poured it into Wonwoo’s favourite rose decorated cup. He added a little ice and a straw and at the last minute, he grabbed the bottle and brought it with him. Wonwoo would be very thirsty after his fever the evening prior. He walked back into the bedroom to find the little fox still half-asleep lounging in the middle of the bed. Something had changed about him; something was different in the way he lazed so unselfconsciously in the middle of the sheets. The way he’d shed his shyness, stretching his naked body on top of the white cotton bedding, it seemed almost intentionally alluring and seductive. It made Junhui feel hot all over but the fox’s heat had broken and Junhui wasn’t going to break the trust they’d built by being pushy.

“Wonwoo, petal, I’ve brought you some juice.” He didn’t want to disturb him but he wanted the fox to drink something. He pushed at Wonwoo’s shoulder and the little fox pretended to be sleeping but the tiny smirk that crept across his lips gave the game away.

“Hurry up,” Junhui said chidingly, his voice gentle but firm, “Soonyoung will be here soon.” He expected the fox to start shaking in delight at the mention of the other man but instead he moved slowly from the bed and over to the door. “I’m not going out without my bath,” he said with a small smile and Junhui swore there was a hint of flirtation there. The bath had once been so innocent but now meant so much more to both of them. Junhui, completely whipped, jumped up and followed the fox into the tiny bathroom. If he wanted a bath the man was only too happy to oblige.

Finally, pacified by Junhui’s attentions, clean and dried and dressed, Wonwoo was ready. He was dressed in a warm hoodie and sweat pants but his feet remained bare. Junhui found himself staring at them. They were always bare but they were soft, they were never dirty or callused or hard, they always looked clean and soft and beautiful. Junhui found himself wondering absentmindedly how well equipped the fox was for leaving and living wild. Tears filled his eyes and he quickly blinked them away when he heard the sound of Soonyoung’s car. He wouldn’t cry in front of his friend. He wasn’t ready for the ‘I told you so’ or the condescending look on his face when Junhui tore his heart apart just trying to let the little fox go.

Any other day the little fox would drop Junhui in favour of the novelty of his friend. Any other time he would throw the door open and leap into Soonyoung’s arms and giggle as the man swung him around in a delighted embrace. But something had changed and today he seemed to hang back, not quite shy, but almost restrained. “Hi Soonyoung,” he said as he clung possessively to Junhui’s arm and stayed by his side. “Hi Wonwoo,” Soonyoung smiled gently. “I’m glad to see you’re feeling better.”

 

 

 

 

The wind blew in their hair as they drove out of the city. The road was long and swung around past the beach before heading through farmland and deep into a wooded area. They’d driven for about an hour and a half before finally stopping deep in the forest by a river. They climbed out of the car, Wonwoo shaking a little although significantly more used to the vehicle now, and Junhui watched Wonwoo’s eyes widen in pure joy. “Wow!” he said brightly, delighted by the verdant canopy and the gentle babble of water, his toes curling into the loamy damp earth. “Go,” Junhui waved him away, “have fun, we’ll wait for you here.” The two men stood and watched the fox vanish into the trees before a rustle up over their heads told them he’d headed straight into the leaves.

Junhui smirked at Soonyoung who supressed a giggle. They began a slow stride under the treetops where Wonwoo had vanished and waited for a telltale rustle above. “Waaaahhhh!” Wonwoo yelled in joy as he dropped down almost on top of Junhui and the man had to pretend to be startled. “I scared you!” Wonwoo laughed as he threw himself into Junhui’s arms and the man laughed as well. “You did scare me Petal,” Junhui giggled as the fox did too and snuffled his face against the other man’s shirt. “Go,” he pushed him away gently. “Go play.”

“How was last night?” Soonyoung couldn’t resist asking and Junhui’s face burned. “Incredible,” Junhui kicked at a rock as his eyes planted themselves firmly on the ground. When he looked up Soonyoung was quirking an eyebrow at him and he smiled a little sadly. “I don’t want him to leave me,” he said as he watched Wonwoo in the distance. He’d stopped running and was seated on top of a small rise, surrounded by grass and fresh air and warm sun, his hair blowing wild in the wind and his tail waving gently from side to side. He looked so free. He looked like he belonged. “But I have to let him go, don’t I?” When he turned to face Soonyoung again his cheeks were streaked with tears and Soonyoung’s own eyes filled in sympathy. “Yes. You have to let him go. This is his place Junhui. He’s not a pet.”

Junhui knew it was the truth. As much as he loved having Wonwoo share his home this was where he was meant to be. He sniffed back his tears and wiped his cheek with the back of his sleeve and watched as Wonwoo stood up, nose in the air, ears twitching in search of something intangible to the humans.

“Junhui,” he whispered, breathless, as he ran back into the man’s arms. “I could smell you, you were crying, why?” His words came out jumbled as Junhui held him close and stroked one fuzzy grey ear between his fingertips. “I was just a bit overwhelmed Petal,” Junhui lied as he pulled away. “Do you like it here?” “I love it,” the fox said as he squatted to pluck a flower from the grass. It was just a simple wildflower, black in the centre with petals radiating pale yellow and gold, but it made Wonwoo smile beautifully as he plucked it and handed it to Junhui. “Can we come here again?” “Petal,” Junhui said softly as he took the flower and placed it gently in Wonwoo’s soft dark hair, “I was hoping this might be where you want to live. It’s got the little river and lots of trees..” his voice cracked and broke as he tried to push through but eventually it wavered. “It’s beautiful here and we can always drive out here and visit you sometimes,” Soonyoung jumped in and the fox’s face dropped before curling up into a smile. “I do love it here,” he said slowly as he dug his toes into the earth again. “I think this is the place for me.”

The car ride home was mostly silent as Soonyoung drove and Junhui cradled the sleeping fox’s head in his lap. He carded his fingers through his dark curls, picking at the little bits of grass and flower petals tangled in the wild mess, and tried to hold his tears back. It was all becoming too real.

He dared to love a wild thing. To give himself freely and unselfishly, to care for it until it was strong. He gave his heart willingly to a wild and broken creature, healed it, making it strong enough to run fierce and unhindered and vital. Strong and beautiful enough to take his heart and run away with it. Nevertheless, he’d given it willingly. It wasn’t the little fox’s fault Junhui had fallen in love with him. It was his own burden to bear and he’d bear it alone.

And Soonyoung drove the car, eyes flicking into the backseat through the rear vision mirror, watching his friend’s internal conflict. Soonyoung understood Junhui and how he’d managed to get himself into this situation and now he just needed to help him survive it.


	30. Chapter 30

 

 

“I’m scared,” Wonwoo whispered just loud enough for Junhui to hear him. “I know,” Junhui rubbed his back with a soft flat hand. Wonwoo was so scared but he knew he had to do this. It was all he’d ever dreamed of since that night he was taken from his family. He wanted to be free.

 

He was scared to be alone but he would have Baby. He was taking his Baby and Junhui said he could take his den and he would even help him build it in the forest so he wouldn’t be too cold. He was taking his pillows and his blankets and his warm soft hoodie that used to be Junhui’s and still carried his scent.

 

“I’m just...” Wonwoo was never great with words. He didn’t always know what to say to convey his innermost feelings. But he did know how to to show Junhui inside his heart though actions. He slid his body against the man’s, pressing their chests together, nosing into his neck with little puffs of hot breath. This was probably going to be their last night together. Junhui had offered up dinner with Minghao and Mingyu, a trip to the movies or a drive withSoonyoung, But Wonwoo had refused all celebrations. There was only one thing he wanted to do.

 

“Jun, I want us to bath together, can we?” He murmured into the soft skin of Junhui’s long elegant neck. “Together?” Junhui asked with trepidation and Wonwoo nodded as his hot breath turned into a series of little licks on the man’s skin.

 

“I thought your heat was over..” Junhui said and Wonwoo looked into his eyes. Junhui’s eyes were dark and almond shaped, chocolate speckled with flecks of gold, filled with warmth and love and a little confusion. “It is,” Wonwoo said as his own ink black irises shook with emotion. “I’m not just a fox Jun, I’m also a man, tonight could you treat me like one? Just this once?”

 

Junhui led him by the hand to the little bathroom. It was dimly lit by a single bulb and smelled musty from the cold damp winter. But for a man, and a fox who sometimes felt more like a man, it was heaven. It was their place of solitude and love, a place where trust was formed and hearts were mended, where Wonwoo healed and Junhui understood.

 

The water churned as the tub filled and Junhui kissed Wonwoo gently. His hands were soft as he slid the tshirt off the fox’s body. The skin and bone were now tempered with a layer of fat and muscle making him much healthier looking but the raised scars still ran down the length of his back. Junhui trailed his fingers down them as his tongue explored the fox’s mouth eliciting the softest of whines from Wonwoo’s throat.

 

“Feels nice Jun,” he hummed as he dropped his pants to the floor and stood naked and unselfconscious in the sallow bathroom light. Junhui’s breath was stolen at the sight of Wonwoo, bare and beautiful, standing in the middle of the room. “You’re so....” he couldn’t finish. Instead he kissed him with all the longing and hunger he felt in his heart. He kissed him and touched him, stripped his own clothes and dropped them, dropped to his knees in front of the fox. He pressed soft kisses to his thighs, to his hip bones, caressing and imprinting every inch of skin into his memory forever. 

 

“Y-you’re cleaning me...” Wonwoo stuttered out as Junhui took his cock in his mouth and sucked. His knees burned on the harsh tiles but Wonwoo moaned loudly and gripped his hair and pulled. The pain was raw and fresh and just enough to distract Junhui from the pain in his chest. Wonwoo was so gorgeous like this, legs trembling in pleasure, eyes clenched shut in ecstasy. Junhui watched him as he sucked him hard and enjoyed the taste of Wonwoo’s cock on his tongue and the look of excitement on his face.

 

Wonwoo never learned to hold back and so he gave in. He let Junhui bring him quickly to the edge and then right over, his whole body racked with tremors as a pleasure he never knew existed flooded his veins. The intensity frightened him a little and he choked back a whine as Junhui kept sucking until he’d spilled everything he had. This wasn’t like during his heat, when instinct and hormones drove him to mate, this was driven by something else inside and it confused him. He enjoyed it immensely so why did he want to just curl up and cry?

 

He was distracted by Junhui getting up off the floor and smiling gently at him. It drew Wonwoo back from introspection and headfirst into reality. As Junhui stepped into the water, hissing slightly at the heat, Wonwoo saw his own arousal obvious and neglected between his legs. A hunger filled him, an aching need to be close to the man, and he climbed in the water and sat with his back pressed against Junhui’s strong chest.

 

No one spoke as Wonwoo closed his eyes and let Junhui wash him so gently. So reminiscent of their first few days together when Wonwoo needed help with everything; from how to wash to how to drink. And now he knew enough to be independent. To live as wild and free as he was supposed to.

 

“Thank you so much,” he said, breathless and hoarse from the steam and the heavy weight of his words, the sound tasting bitter and empty on his tongue. It wasn’t enough. He turned around and nestled his head into the crook of Junhui’s neck and began to stroke the soft skin of the man’s erection. When Junhui closed his eyes, an exhale of resignation on his rosy lips, Wonwoo understood why. His lips parted and he licked at Junhui’s neck before chewing gently on the sweetly salty skin as he worked his hand a little faster. The feeling of Junhui’s cock in his hand and the man’s head on his shoulder was addicting and he wasn’t sure in that moment how he was going to walk away from everything Junhui meant to him. 

 

“Take me to bed Jun,” he begged softly under his breath as Junhui gasped with pleasure. “Take me to your bed and let me make you feel good.... please...” 

 

He didn’t need to ask twice.

 

Their skin was still wet as Wonwoo landed on his back with Junhui hovering over him. Wonwoo wasn’t sure if his goosebumps were from the cold or from Junhui’s hungry eyes on his body but either way he didn’t care. He spread his legs and let Junhui between them and sighed as the man settled comfortably before pressing a kiss to his lips. 

 

Junhui was surprised to find his little fox wet. His finger slid easily inside his body and, outside the frantic arousal of heat, he found Wonwoo relaxed and pliant underneath him. “More...” Wonwoo pleaded as he arched his back and spread his legs wider. “More...” he begged and whined as he threw his head back and his hips canted up to meet the thrusting fingers of the man hovering over him. “More... please Jun, more...” he whined and quivered as Junhui settled between his legs and lined his hard cock up with the fox’s slick hole.

 

“Ahhhh...” the sigh was soft and sensual as Junhui began to inch inside him. It felt so good Junhui’s head was a mess, the tight heat enclosing him, the warm breath on his neck, the soft sound of their hearts beating in the silence. When he looked down at Wonwoo’s face he melted. The little fox was gazing at him with what could only be described as complete adoration and it just made him want to hold on tighter.

 

What a beautiful way to say goodbye.

 

He didn’t moan or swear or make a sound besides the weight of each exhalation. Junhui rode his body slow but hard and gentle, sensual, thrusting and grinding as he clung to the little fox. He wanted to feel as much of him as he could so it would be forever burned into his memory. So he could never forget this feeling as much as he might want to one day. He’d rather live with the beautiful pain of this memory than the emptiness of forgetting.

 

“Jun, Jun,” the fox began to quietly whine and pant his name and Junhui knew he was close. One hand went into his hair, searching for the sensitive ears he found so sensual, and when Junhui stroked and pulled at one Wonwoo came. It was fast and intense and made his whole body shake with pleasure as his cum filled the space between them. The sweet scent of him was ripe in the air and, as Junhui drowned in the scent and the heat and everything that was Wonwoo, he came too. He came inside him as he drove his cock as far in as he could, feeling as much of the fox as possible, before grunting a low growl of sincerity and satisfaction.

 

“Junnie....” Wonwoo cooed softly and it made Junhui smile as he slid out of the fox and lay next to him on the bed. Of course the little fox had to wait until the very last minute to call the man’s name with such affection. “Come here little petal,” Junhui opened his arms and the fox curled into them with his head on his chest and soft grey ears tickling his chin.

 

_What a wonderful way to say goodbye_ , Junhui thought as he snuggled the fox into a swift and deep slumber.

 

_What a beautiful way to break my heart._

 


	31. To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die

 

 

_**“To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die,”** _

_**\- Thomas Campbell** _

 

 

They rose in the darkness and by the time, Soonyoung pulled up the sun was just breaching the horizon. It was a little cool, the air crisp and fresh, but with the hopeful premise on the wind of a lovely sunny day. Junhui’s brain was in denial as he packed the boot of the car with the rolled up tent, a bag of blankets and clothes, and a box of Wonwoo’s favorited fruits. “Time to go,” he said as the fox climbed into the car. There was a heaviness to his steps, a weight on his face that Junhui never expected, but he pushed it to the back of his mind. 

 

This was supposed to be a happy day.

The drive to the countryside seemed to pass in a blink of an eye. Junhui clung to every last second of his time with Wonwoo. It was so precious. They barely spoke during the ride, preferring to keep things soft and quiet, enjoying the things best left unsaid. When they reached the spot, they’d chosen Soonyoung parked the car and the three companions gathered Wonwoo’s stuff. Junhui and Soonyoung pitched the tent set way back in a verdant grove, a canopy of leaves covering most of the bright blue material, leaving it almost invisible. 

 

Wonwoo hadn’t been seen for a while and Junhui was just starting to worry when he suddenly appeared with his arms filled with wildflowers. He sat cross-legged on the grass in front of his den and wove them artfully into strings and crowns as Soonyoung and Junhui worked to cover as much of the tent as they could with dirt and fallen leaves. When they were done he was too and, with his tent filled with blankets and fruit, they all knew it was time.

“Bye Wonwoo,” Soonyoung said a little wistfully, ruffling the fox’s hair. “Brought you this to keep. Save it until we come to visit you and I’ll throw it for you until your legs can’t move.” He dropped the red ball into the fox’s hands and quickly turned away. “Take as long as you need,” he said as he walked to the car without looking back.

“Petal,” Junhui said as he opened his arms and held the fox close to his body. “Thank you,” Wonwoo sniffed into Junhui’s hoodie before picking up a flower crown from the grass. “Here,” he said as he placed it on Junhui’s head. “I know it will die but when it does come and visit me and I’ll make you another one. Thank you for saving me Jun, I’d be dead if you hadn’t rescued me, I know that for sure. Thank you for loving me and giving me my freedom back.”

Junhui took a deep breath. “Thank you for letting me love you, for trusting me to heal you, for making my life brighter. Even if it was just for a few months. I promise I’ll come and visit you.” He hugged the little fox tight against his chest and wished the world would stop spinning for just a while. He wasn’t ready yet. He wouldn’t ever be ready, he supposed, but he wasn’t going to hold Wonwoo back from true freedom.

“Goodbye Petal,” he said.

 

“Goodbye Jun,” Wonwoo replied.

Junhui stumbled across the grass to the car where Soonyoung was waiting. “Just drive,” he said without looking behind him. He couldn’t bear to look back. The crown of petals slipped from his hair and landed on the seat beside him where a few silver strands of fox fur still clung to the seat. “I won’t judge you if you cry,” Soonyoung said as his eyes flicked back to where Junhui was huddled on the back seat but the man didn’t break. He stared silently, catatonically, out the window all the way home. He stayed silent as Soonyoung pulled up in the driveway, waved goodbye with a small smile and the flower crown in his hand, held his nerve until he was alone. And when he was alone, truly alone in his home for the first time in forever, he finally broke down.

The walls seemed too wide, there was too much space, the rooms just seemed too empty. Wonwoo had filled every little gap and crevice in his life and made it all better. He’d brightened every single aspect of Junhui’s home and Junhui’s heart and now he was gone. Sure, Junhui had promised to visit him, but it wouldn’t be the same. He was gone and Junhui was alone.

He dragged his heavy feet across the house, the musty carpet dull and brown, the door slightly open to the bathroom. He slammed it closed on his way past. The room that meant so much to him was now just a hollow relic, a reminder of what he’d had, of what he’d lost. He crawled into bed, curled up under the sheets, and cried himself to sleep.

When he woke, it was dark and he wasn’t alone, but the flower crown was still clutched tightly in his grasp. “Sit up,” Minghao mumbled in the dimly lit room and Junhui sat. He felt the cool glass of water pressed against his lips and he accepted it willingly. His throat felt like it was on fire. “Junhui..” he said and the man cut him off immediately. “Don’t,” Junhui said as he closed his eyes and snuggled back down into his bed, “just let me grieve.” “He isn’t dead,” Minghao said and Junhui shrugged under the thick quilt that still held a lingering sense of the little grey fox’s slumber. “He might as well be. He’s not here and I miss him.” “I know,” Minghao said as he stroked his best friend’s hair. He left the man alone.

 

 

“How is he?” Mingyu asked as Minghao slid back into the passenger seat of the car. “Exactly as I predicted,” Minghao sighed with resignation. This was exactly what he feared. He knew from the very first day that they were going to end up here. He knew the little fox was eventually going to break his best friends’ heart.

On the second day, he was still in bed. Soonyoung made him sit up and eat a little soup but the pain in his friends’ eyes was almost too much to bear. He looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks. “You need to shower,” Soonyoung said as he wrinkled his nose. “Do you think he’s okay?” Junhui croaked out, voice hoarse and trembling, and Soonyoung nodded the lie despite not knowing. That seemed to relax Junhui a little, as he slipped back onto his pillow.

On the third day, Minghao turned up to find Junhui with fresh wet hair. “You showered!” he exclaimed and hugged his friend. “Yeah, well I was kind of gross..” he blushed as he wandered barefoot around his little home. “I’ll come back to work tomorrow. Sitting here all day missing him isn’t’ doing anyone any good.” Minghao nodded his agreement. That was definitely true.

On the fourth day, Soonyoung knocked on the door and no one answered. He messaged his friend to get the reply that he was feeling a little better and had gone to work. Soonyoung smiled at that. Maybe his friend would be okay.

On the fifth day, Junhui opened his packed lunch of strawberries and was inconsolable. Minghao took him outside and held him in a long warm hug until his tears finally dried and he stopped sniffling. “You can’t cry every time you see a strawberry,” Minghao giggled a little and Junhui chuckled in response. “I know,” he said as he wiped his nose with his sleeve. “It’s just hard.” “Why don’t you come out tonight with Mingyu and I?” Minghao said softly. “You could do with a night out. Mingyu is brining one of his modelling friends and I think you’ll really like him.”

Junhui didn’t want to like him. Nevertheless, he also wanted to forget. He suddenly felt weak at the overwhelming urge to drink and dance, to sweat, to stagger and forget his pain and sadness in the bottom of a wine glass. He wanted to forget the soft grey ears and gentle snuffles hot against soft skin that haunted him every time he closed his eyes.

 

He wanted it _gone_. 

 

He wanted it to be _nothing_. Empty, void, vacant.

 

He wanted to _feel nothing_.

“Okay,” he said to Minghao’s surprise. “I’ll come out with you tonight. Pick me up at 8.”


	32. without you my heart has no home

 

 

 

It was cold.

 

The first thing Wonwoo learned about freedom was how cold it was. Even though the season had broken and it seemed warm enough inside Junhui’s rundown little brick cottage it was actually still bitterly cold outside.

 

It was quiet.

 

The second thing Wonwoo learned about freedom was how damn silent the forest was. No background noise of the tv, no sudden blasting of the Chinese pop songs Junhui loved to turn on randomly when he was cooking or cleaning up, no endless chatter of the man who’s home he’d shared. Just the stillness of the night and vague sounds of crickets or leaves rustling or the occasions snapped twig. 

 

But it didn’t matter. He was free.

 

When he woke up at dawn he felt rough. He hadn’t slept well. Contrary to his assumptions the quiet hadn’t helped him sleep. Every tiny noise had stirred an anxiety inside him and he’d tossed and turned all night. He was too cold and the blankets didn’t seem to ease the harness of the ground beneath him. The plush warmth of Junhui’s bed already seemed like a forgotten remnant of a fever dream after only one night.

 

He cracked open the lunchbox Junhui had packed for him and smiled at the big pile of strawberries inside. They were his favourite and both Junhui and Soonyoung had assured him he’d be able to forage for them in the forest. But for now he still had a box packed with love and care by Junhui as another parting gift. The sweetness of the berries filled his mouth and the sweetness of the fresh air filled his lungs as he sat cross legged and watched the sun rise. And a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth almost unwillingly. He was free. This was the feeling of freedom.

 

 

The day seemed endless. He ran like the wind barefoot through a clearing and climbed a few tall trees. He chased a butterfly and rolled down a hill, landing with a laugh and a thump at the bottom. He ate the rest of his food for lunch and then lay down in some long grass for a nap. When he woke Wonwoo realised the sun was only halfway down the sky. He scratched his head and wondered what he was going to do for the rest of the day.

 

He froze in fear when he heard whispers coming from behind a big shrub. His teeth bared a little and his claws extended when two foxes tumbled out of the shrubbery and smiled at him. “Hi,” the shorter one said. “I’m Chan and this is my brother Seokmin. You must be new around here.”

 

Wonwoo blushed, bashful and timid, but smiled back through his anxiety. “Hi,” he said as he moved closer. He wondered for a second if they could be his brothers but their ears, on closer inspection, were tufted orange and gold around the base. They weren’t grey like his. The foxes in front of him were not grey but red.

 

“I-I’m new. I was taken as a kit and I’ve just been released. I’m free.”

 

His toes dig the earth as he stared at his feet, finally looking up at the other two foxes. “What do you mean taken?” Chan wondered aloud. He and his brother, fascinated, sat alongside their new friend as Wonwoo detailed the night of his kidnap. “You aren’t from arund here then,” Seokmin said as his dark fluffy ears twietched at every sound. “Ive never heard of anything like that happening around here.” “What was it like?” Chan asked, wide eyed, “not being taken. You know... being owned. Living with people.”

Wonwoo held his emotions in as he described the hybrid dealership, the cold concrete cages, the constant abuse. The beatings, the starvation, the torture. He sniffed a little as he described the cycle of being sold, abused, returned and rehomed. His tears were held firmly in check as he detailed his final indignity at the hands of the pet shop owner, skinny and cold, damp and deloused and terrified. But when he began to tell his story of Junhui saving him the tears finally broke free. They slid down his cheeks in little rivulets of emotion and heartbreak. “He saved my life,” he whispered more to himself than his new companions.

He sniffed back the tears as he described Junhui’s home, the wonders of a warm bubble bath, the endless supply of humble but delicious food. He described the joys of digging in the flowerbeds, the trips to the beach, the lavishing of attention and Junhui’s ability to produce whatever the little fox’s heart desired. He took the two brothers inside his makeshift den and showed them his silky satin pillow, his strings of flowers and fairy lights and, finally, his pride and joy. His Baby.

“This was a gift!” he showed them proudly as they marvelled over the stuffed dog now showing signs of being well loved. “From your owner?” Chan asked and Wownoo shook his head. “My friend Soonyoung. He’s Junhui’s friend too.” “Your owner let you have friends? Human friends?” Seokmin asked and Wonwoo nodded. “Junhui never really treated me like a pet. He wasn’t like an owner. He was more like a……..” 

 

He trailed off as he tried to think. The right word, the one playing on his lips, was mate. Junhui cuddled him and cared for him, stroked his hair and whispered soft words to him, he held his hand and took him everywhere and showed him off in front of his friends. “it wasn’t like that. He was always very kind,” Wonwoo snapped a little as he tried to remain courteous but he didn’t want anyone to think of Junhui as his owner.

 

“So why did you leave then?” The younger and more precocious red fox asked. “That kind of life sounds perfect and your human sounds kind and gentle.” “I wanted to be free,” Wonwoo said defiantly as he looked around at the forest surrounding them. “I’m a wild animal. This is where I belong.” The red foxes didn’t seem convinced.

“Where do you guys live?” Wonowoo changed the subject and Chan smiled brightly. “We have a den over there near the river. We share it but we’re going to split up soon. Seokmin wants a mate and so do I even though he says I’m not old enough.” Chan grinned as his brother pushed him over in the dirt. “You havent even gone into rut yet!” Seokmin snapped back as his brother grabbed for his ankle and Wonwoo craved for the feeling of roughhousing with his siblings. But, if Chan and Seokmin were correct, his siblings were nowhere near here, and he was never going to find his family. He watched the two brothers smile at each other and longed for a smile aimed at him, warm and loving, belonging to the only one who’d ever made him feel at home.

“Want to come see our den?” Chan asked brightly and Wonwoo followed them to a steep bank. They half climbed half slid down into the gully and pushed a thicket of branches aside. “Welcome!” Soekmin announced dramatically with a wave of his hand as Wonwoo slipped past him into the dark hollow hidden behind.

It was cold and damp inside, the dirt floor covered in places with dry leaves and piles of dead grass. There were a few old blankets scattered around and Wonwoo wondered where they got them from. “Sometimes we ‘borrow’ things from campers or from one of the farms near here,” Seokmin said, supposedly reading his mind. “Yeah, can’t take too much, don’t want to get followed!” Chan rolled around in a pile of leaves in the back corner and when he sat up again he had strands of grass stuck to his ears. “Cute,” Wonwoo said softly as he smiled at the younger fox. 

 

“Want to stay for dinner?” Seokmin asked as he rummaged in a corner. He dug in the dirt and suddenly tossed a whole dead rabbit proudly onto the ground in front of Wonwoo. “I’ll share my rabbit with you. I caught it today by myself!” He puffed his chest out a little as he pushed it closer to Wonwoo. “And I think Channie found some mushrooms as well,” the older red fox said dismissively “Thanks....” Wonwoo said slowly as he looked around for a stove or an oven or even evidence of a campfire to clean and cook the rabbit. There was none.

 

“I’m kind of tired,” he said as he began to shift towards the entrance. The light outside had turned golden and he wanted to go home. “Thanks for the offer but I think I’ll go home now. We can see each other again tomorrow though?” Chan nodded enthusiastically and Seokmin smiled brighter than the slowly setting sun as they waved Wonwoo away from the den.

 

He ran as fast as he could back to his den. The golden light spilling across the landscape awakened his instinct, telling him it was time to wait, that Junhui would be coming home soon. But he would be coming home to an empty house and Wonwoo was here in his new home where he was cold and lonely and hungry. But it shouldn’t matter, after all, he was free. This was what he always wanted.

 

On the third day he woke with a raw and ravenous feeling that had all but been forgotten. Wonwoo hardly remembered what it was like to feel hungry, truly hungry, the pain that cramped an empty belly. He tried to quell it with some river water, he tried to forage for something edible but he didn’t know what was safe and what wasn’t, he was never more grateful than when Seokmin turned up at his den with a handful of almonds and a tiny hard peach which he desperately accepted. He shook his head at the generous offer to share his rat that Seokmin had caught that morning. 

 

He didn’t miss the obvious disappointment on the other fox’s face. He knew what Seokmin was doing, he’d only recently been doing it himself, although self awareness had escaped him until now. Seokmin was trying to show Wonwoo what a good mate he would be, that he could provide for a family and make a nice home, and it just made Wonwoo’s heart ache in his chest. He’d tried so hard, albeit unconsciously, to demonstrate his mating skills to Junhui and it had worked. Junhui had accepted him and mated with him even outside his heat and Wonwoo had just left him and walked away. He tucked his tail around himself as he curled up inside his den and longed for the feeling of Junhui’s warm hands on his skin and soft kisses on his body. It was the best feeling in the world.

 

That night it rained. Hard. It wasn’t cold but everything was wet and the thunder and lightning had scared the little fox half to death.

 

On the fourth day he woke up cold and shivering and soggy. The rain had washed into the entrance of his den and his favourite silky red pillow was muddy. He was hungry and damp and cold, bored and lonely, and wanted nothing more than to curl under a warm blanket on the couch and watch National Geographic while he sipped a hot coffee. 

 

Seokmin and Chan didn’t come. It was too wet, Wonwoo guessed, and he spent all day shivering and hungry and alone. The time passed so slowly and when the sun finally began to drop, beaming bright rays through the scattered clouds, his chest began to hurt. 

 

Home.

 

Junhui would be coming home.

 

His thin body shook as he burst into tears. This freedom he had craved was nothing more than a figment of his imagination. It was an arbitrary construct of his tattered memories, misplaced in his desire to find what he was really searching for. He’d never felt more free than when he lay tangled in Junhui’s limbs, their bare bodies clinging to each other to share warmth and love, the rise and fall of Junhui’s chest making the most wonderful pillow.

 

Junhui’s love and care had given Wonwoo a different kind of freedom. A freedom to live and grow and love. A freedom to laugh loudly and run like the wind and fall back into Junhui’s arms when he needed to find safety and comfort. As he curled up inside his damp and silent den he sobbed himself to sleep. He’d never felt more trapped, more caged, more restricted by what was his own undoing. He didn’t know what had possessed him to even want to leave the warm little cottage with its huge garden and faded and dated bathroom.

 

It was what Junhui wanted too, right? He’d always planned for Wonwoo to leave. Would he even want him to come back? 

 

He had to find out.

 

On the fifth day, starving and dirty and so so cold, Wonwoo crept from his den at daybreak. He thought carefully as he remembered the position of the sun at this time of day, familiar due to the early morning runs with Soonyoung, and convinced himself he could do this.

 

In that moment Wonwoo found true freedom. Freedom to make a choice, to do what was right for him, the freedom to do what he wanted most in the world.

 

Nose sniffing the air, brushy tail held high, his Baby tucked securely under his arm; Wonwoo knew he could do this. He had to do this.

 

With a light feeling of liberation and a steadfast determination Wonwoo began to walk in the direction of the little cottage.

 

Wonwoo was going home.

 


	33. The hardest road and the loneliest journey

 

 

 

Wonwoo began to walk. He knew he was going in the right direction, he could tell, with his nose in the air and his Baby tucked against his body. It was hard, just the effort of putting one foot in front of the other, his stomach cramped from hunger and his head sore from lack of sleep. But he persisted. He had to at least find out if there was a place for him in Junhui’s home.

 

 

Maybe if Junhui didn’t want him to come back Soonyoung would take him?

 

That would be okay too but not as wonderful as being back in Junhui’s arms. Wonwoo smiled as he thought of waking up next to Junhui, bare skin on skin, gentle kisses that made his tail curl up under warm blankets. He thought of how happy he was just wandering around the house, cleaning up and playing in the garden, and waiting for Junhui to come home.

 

Nothing compared to that. The pure joy and excitement he felt every day when the sun dipped and threw copper and crimson shards across everything he could see. The way the golden light reflected in Junhui’s bright eyes when Wonwoo would throw himself into his arms. “Hello Petal,” was always the greeting and the response was always Wonwoo’s nose against Junhui’s skin, inhaling as much of him as he could. Where he’d been, what he’d eaten, and always the scent of Minghao mingled with the others.

 

Wonwoo was used to it now. Maybe if Junhui didn’t want him and Soonyoung didn’t want him then Minghao would take pity on him at least for a while.

 

“Ouch,” he whined out loud as he trod on a rock. He lifted his foot and picked the sharp stone out and kept walking. As the sun rose higher the forest gave way to farmland and he crouched by a creek to take some water. He was careful to keep out of sight. Chan and Seokmin had told him the farmers around here saw the foxes as pests and wouldn’t be kind if they caught him. It didn’t help that Chan was always breaking into their coups and verbs, after their chickens, or even just an egg.

 

After a short restful break Wonwoo stood up, stretched, tucked his Baby under his arm and headed in the direction of the highway.

 

 

*****

 

 

Junhui leaned closer to the mirror as he tried to see better in the dim yellow light. He dragged the eyeliner heavily along his lower lid before stepping back and checking it. He looked like a different person. Perfect. Exactly what he intended.

Just for tonight, he wanted to pretend that he wasn’t the man who let his love go. He wanted to pretend he was the sort of man who fought for what he wanted and tried to make Wonwoo stay. Would he have stayed? If Junhui had cried, begged, pleaded with Wonwoo would he have forsaken his freedom for a life in a cage? If Junhui had gotten down on his knees and spilled the truth of the love carried inside his heart would it have mattered? Would it have made a difference?

A part of him felt so guilty at the thought of even trying to keep him. He was a wild creature and he was where he belonged. Junhui began to style his hair up as he tried to imagine Wonwoo running barefoot through long grass, rolling in the dirt and swimming in the river, taking long naps high above the ground in a verdant canopy of forest leaves. He tried to focus on Wonwoo’s happiness, foraging for fruits and nuts, maybe even the thrill of his first catch of prey. He pictured him so proud, dragging a rabbit or bird back to his den, enjoying the reward of his efforts. He might have even found someone to share it with by now. He might have found himself a……

_Mate…_

Junhui’s knees buckled and he gripped the sink as his stomach twisted in grief and jealously. The thought of someone else holding him, touching him, sliding inside him was too much. He was a horrible person and had never hated himself more. “Why can’t you just be happy for him?” he shouted at the mirror before slamming his hand against his own reflection. The mirror shattered into a million pieces, the shards sharp and falling like last night’s rain around the scattered remnants of Junhui’s heart, the pain in his bleeding hand a welcome distraction from the pain in his chest.

When Minghao arrived at 8pm exactly he found Junhui waiting and ready, his hair and makeup perfect, his smile fake and his hand bandaged. When Minghao looked quizzically at it the other man just shook his head, grabbed his keys and wallet, and locked the door behind him. “Let’s get out of here,” he said as he slipped into the backseat of Mingyu’s car and they headed off towards the centre of the city.

 

******

 

The sun had long risen to the midday peak and began to drop. As the farmland turned into houses Wonwoo knew he was getting closer. He had taken a short break by a storm drain where he hid himself away, drank a little stale stagnant water he found in the bottom, and inspected his feet. They were bleeding in places, cut and grazed, hurting more than he ever imagined. The harsh asphalt and bitumen were a far cry from the soft carpet and silky grass he was used to walking on. He dipped his hands into the puddle of filthy water and tried to scrub some of the dirt from his feet to find out where he was bleeding from but it just mingled with the dirt and blood and made more mess. He sighed to himself and got up to keep walking.

He was glad for the hoodie to hide his ears. In his blind dash for freedom he’d disregarded the need to bring his collar. Why would he have? And now he was alone and vulnerable and uncollared. Hybrid control would be able to pick him up immediately and he had never forgotten that his chip had him marked as dangerous and for immediate destruction. So he hid inside the hoodie as deep as he could and kept his head down as he walked in the dirt and scrub besides the highway. At least he was partially hidden from the constant stream of vehicles rushing past at high speed. Hopefully no one would notice him. 

 

 

As the sun dropped even lower and his head began to spin from hunger and exhaustion he found his energy renewed. It was almost time, Junhui was coming home, and so was Wonwoo. He wouldn’t be there in time to greet him but the buildings and roads were becoming increasingly familiar and Wonwoo was sure he was almost there. Just a few more hours, one painful step after another, and he would be in front of Junhui and ready to throw himself on the ground and beg for his home back.

 

*****

 

 

“Drink?” Minghao asked and Junhui had already waved the bartender over. He ordered two shots, downed them both, then clutched at his beer as Minghao and Mingyu watched on in concern. They eyed each other but both remained silent. Minghao decided he’d give him an hour or so to settle down before starting an argument he didn’t want. Hopefully the alcohol would relax him. 

 

“Hey!” Mingyu waved over the crowd towards another tall man. The crowd seemed to part as the man glided gracefully towards them and only then did Junhui click. “This is a fucking set up,” he mumbled at Minghao who just smiled gently and nodded. “Yanan is really nice and just your type. Plus he’s Chinese as well. And human...” The last part made Junhui’s nose wrinkle a little. His feelings for Wonwoo were no less valid because he was a hybrid and it instantly irritated him that his friend felt that way. “Hi,” the man said softly. He was stunningly gorgeous, tall and painfully thin, long graceful limbs and beautiful dark eyes accentuated by a stylishly messy mop of platinum white hair. “You’re pretty,” Junhui said as the alcohol warmed his stomach and made his head feel light.

By 10pm he was a mess. “Sorry,” Mingyu apologised to Yanan who brushed it off as Junhui drunkenly waved the waiter over for another shot. “You’re cute,” Junhui slurred as he turned to face the man sitting beside him clutching at a glass of lemonade. “Shame you don’t have any ears.” “Ears?” Yanan echoed, confused, as Minghao’s eyes widened. He shook his head but Junhui had already heard the question in his tone. “Yeah,” he said as his hand went to Yanan’s white blond hair. “Where’s your ears? You’d look cute with nice grey ears here. Nice to pat and rub. Nice to touch and make you feel good….” His train of thought eked out to a soft hiccup that was barely holding back a sob. “Time to take you home I think,” Mingyu grabbed his keys and Junhui just blinked at him. “I’ll come back if you guys want to wait here,” Mingyu said to the other two who nodded and ordered more drinks. “Come on Junhui. I’m going to drive you home.”

 

 

******

 

The cover of darkness had given Wonwoo a little security until he realised it was harder to find his way. His eyes glowed in the darkness and he could see just fine. The problem was the way everything looked different at night. He bent over behind a bush and vomited again as he cursed himself for drinking the stagnant water in the bottom of the drain. He should have just put up with the thirst. Any decent fox would have known better. His stomach cramped and heat spread across his forehead but he kept moving. He just knew he was going in the right direction.

When he saw the tiny collection of shops where Junhui had bought the fairy lights he began to cry. Silent tears streamed down his dirty cheeks as he finally found comfort in the knowledge he was almost there. The streets looked familiar now, he knew if he kept moving along this road he would eventually come to the big school oval where he chased the balls Soonyoung threw and then he was almost there. He barely noticed the pain in his bleeding feet now he had the fever and cramps from the water to deal with.

 

“We’re almost home,” he whispered aloud to his Baby still clutched tightly in his hand as he turned off the main road and headed towards the school. When he reached the damp grass that looked and smelled so familiar he began to run. His bruised and bloody feet felt like broken wings as he flew as fast as he could towards the little rundown cottage at the end of the street. When he finally reached the front yard he had to stop and vomit again. He was so weak he could barely bend over and didn’t notice the foul yellow trail smeared down the front of his hoodie. It didn’t matter. He was home.

With Baby still in one hand, the other banged furiously on the door but no one answered. Where was Junhui? He never went out at night, he liked to stay home and just relax, watch some tv or play games on his phone with Wonwoo’s head in his lap. Wonwoo’s head spun, he was so weak and dizzy, his mind clouded with fear and worry and his sick stomach churning with nausea. Had Junhui left him? Had he gone somewhere and was never coming back? He lifted his arm to knock again but his eyes went all fuzzy. He sat down to try and clear his head but all he could do was howl in sadness before everything went black.

 

******

“I just miss him so much,” Junhui said as he stared out of the window. Mingyu had rolled it down in case he wanted to vomit but the cold night air combined with the bottle of water he was holding had cleared his head considerably. “I understand,” Mingyu said. Others didn’t, they saw Junhui and Wonwoo for what they were supposed to be, master and pet. Owner and animal. Mingyu had seen so much more when he observed them together. He’d seen something wonderful and precious to be cherished.

 

He’d wanted to intervene when Minghao told him Wonwoo was leaving. He’d wanted to warn Junhui that Wonwoo wasn’t a wild animal. He was a pet, always living in captivity, that he’d missed out on experiences when he was young that he would need in the wild to survive. But he didn’t really know Junhui that well and so he didn’t interfere. He wasn’t surprised the other man in the car was a wreck. People who hadn’t experienced the love of a pet could never understand the strength of the bond between a man and his animal. Wonwoo was so much more than just a pet, he was also a man, and so it made sense their relationship was more. “Do you think he misses me too?” Junhui’s voice was small as he turned to Mingyu who smiled warmly at him with eyes shining in the darkness. “I don’t doubt that for a second. You’re all he has in this world.” That seemed to make Junhui feel a little better as he went back to staring silently out the window.

 

When the car pulled up in the driveway Junhui’s stomach flipped in excitement. He could see something curled up under the dim light, a dark shadowy figure, ears twitching in the cold night air. “Wonwoo?” he asked as he got out and ran towards him and when he reached out for the little grey fox he got no response. “Mingyu,” he called out to the other man, “help me Mingyu, help me get him up.” Mingyu jumped out of the driver’s seat and ran to the porch where Junhui was cradling the fox in his arms. “I’m sorry Wonwoo,” he sniffed as he began to rock him, “I never should have let you go.”

 

 

Mingyu took the keys from Junhui’s hand and unlocked the door. Junhui stood on wobbly legs and carried the little fox inside the house. He bypassed the living room and went straight into the bedroom where he laid him out on the bed. “He’s breathing,” he said as he scrambled for the phone in his pocket and began to dial. “Dr Hong, sorry it’s so late, it’s an emergency,” he explained down the phone and was slightly relaxed by the Doctor’s reassurance he would come soon. “What do you think happened to him?” Mingyu asked as Junhui, sobered by stress, began to strip the dirty soiled hoodie off his beautiful little Petal. “I never should have let him,” Junhui sniffed as he pulled the hoodie over Wonwoo’s head. “I should have begged him to stay. If he dies it’s all my fault.”

When he saw the state of Wonwoo’s feet, his perfectly soft and beautiful feet, he choked back a sob. It was a long way from here to the forest. He must have walked all day. “I’m sorry,” he whispered as he stroked the tufted grey ears he’d missed so much and the touch roused the fox a little. “Jun?” he asked quietly, his voice a hoarse whisper, “am I home?” “You’re home,” Junhui sobbed and the fox relaxed as he slipped back into unconsciousness.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he pressed soft kisses into the dirty dank hair on the fox’s head. “I’m so sorry, just please be okay Petal, please be okay…” Junhui climbed onto the bed and checked the fox for obvious injuries. Finding none, he wrapped his arms around him and lay in silence bedside his love as they waited for the Doctor to come.

 

 


	34. where the heart is

 

 

“What happened to him?” Dr Hong asked as he rushed into the bedroom. Wonwoo was slipping in and out of coherence, his eyelids fluttering at the sound of voices, each low groan accompanied by the heavy dry retch of his empty cramping stomach. “I-I happened. I’m so stupid,” Junhui whispered as he held his hand. His voice sounded out of place, too loud in the silence, but it also brought with it a flutter of dark lashes as Wonwoo opened his eyes and tried to sit up.

 

“Junhui, am I really home?” he asked and Junhui crowded close just in time to catch the fox’s vomit with a bucket. “I let him go free. It w-was what he wanted….” Junhui helped Wonwoo to lay back down as Dr Hong shook his head slowly. “Mr Wen, Wonwoo isn’t equipped to live in the wild, he’s been domesticated ever since he was a child…” 

 

He took the fox’s temperature and listened to his chest before inspecting his feet. “He’s sick because he’s eaten or drank something he shouldn’t have. I’m going to give you an oral antibiotic in case of any infection in his body but he’s mostly just hungry, thirsty, tired and dirty. All things which I assume you can help him with.”

Junhui withered under the Doctor’s gaze as he steered him from the bedroom. He knew this was all his fault but he needed to hear it. The words from the Doctors mouth would give him licence to follow his instinct and make sure this never happened again. “Mr Wen, part of being a responsible hybrid owner is making sure you know what is best for them, regardless of their wishes. This isn’t a wild animal. This is a fully domesticated pet in terms of skills and instincts regardless of how he feels. Please keep him safe from now on.” 

 

Junhui nodded, suitably chastised, as tears welled up in his eyes. “Besides the fact that he cant take care of himself; what would have happened if animal control got a hold of him? They can remove him from your care.” The slow drip of tears down Junhui’s cheeks were all the proof needed of his chastisement. “I just wanted him to be happy,” he stammered and the Doctor reached into his bag and pulled out a bottle of white liquid. “He is happy,” Dr Hong stressed, a warm hand on Junhui’s shoulder. “He’s happy here, warm and safe and loved, he doesn’t know how to survive out there.”

Dr Hong put the bottle of medicine down on the table and got a notepad out and began to write down instructions. “20ml twice a day after food until it’s all gone. Keep him warm and well hydrated, light foods as he starts to want them, and keep his feet clean. If they itch or look infected call me and I’ll come back.” “Thank you so much,” Junhui said as he reached for his phone with shaking hands and Dr Hong shook his head. “No charge for you tonight,” he smiled gently at the man still lit up from within with nervous energy. “You’ve both been through enough. Just keep him safe, yeah?”

When the door closed behind him Junhui realised Mingyu was still lingering in the hallway. “Do you need me to stay?” he asked with uncertainty and Junhui shook his head. “Leave us,” he said as he walked back towards the bedroom. “Please, I just want to be alone with him, just us…” He never even saw Mingyu leave.

“Jun?” Wownoo croaked out when Junhui walked back in the room and the man rushed to his little fox’s side. “Don’t try and sit,” he said as he began to move pillows to support his head a little. “I’m sorry,” Wonwoo whispered as his eyes flickered open, tried to focus, then closed again. “I never should have left. I thought it’s what you wanted…. What I wanted…” “No, I’m sorry,” Junhui said as he lifted a bottle of water close to the fox’s lips. “I never ever should have let you go. And I wont ever again.”

The fox’s weakness was evident when he couln’t even move his lips to take the water. Junhui looked over him, dirty and pale, his cheeks sunken and his eyes shallow pits of darkness and devastation. He instantly knew what to do. “I’ll be right back Petal,” he said softly as he went into the bathroom and began to fill the tub like he had so many months ago.

It seemed like so long ago, how had they come full circle? How had he ended up back at the beginning, Wonwoo sick and thin, dirty and exhausted? Junhui shook his head. All he knew was he had to fix it and this was the best way he knew how. Steam filled the tiny bathroom lit dimly by a dusty yellowing light bulb, the air thick with moisture and the scent of Wonwoo’s favorite orange shower gel, the tiles dingy and old. But the warmth in the room was familiar and palpable in its comforting weight as Junhui carried Wonwoo from the bedroom to sit down on the bathmat.

 

“It’ll be fine Petal,” he said as he gently stripped the filthy clothes from his little fox. “I’ll fix it, I promise, I’ll spend my whole life making sure you’re safe....” Wonwoo seemed to hear as he smiled a little and Junhui scooped his bare body up into his arms.

When he helped him into the water the fox breathed out a low sigh of relief. This was his homecoming. His favorite place in the world, where nothing mattered outside the solid brick walls, where it was just the two of them together and everything ceased to exist. They coulnd’t stop the world from turning but they could pretend it wasn’t there just for a while. Junhui leaned over, his shirt soaking around the edges, as he squirted shampoo into his palm. He washed Wonwoo’s hair gently, rubbing softly around the base of his ears, checking for any obvious signs of injury and finding none. When his hands wandered down

His feet, once soft and white, perfect in their untouched state, were grazed and scratched and sore. Junhui used a washcloth to gently wash away the crusted dried blood and caked grime away as Wonwoo sighed gently under his breath.

The water turned murky and brown, just as it had all those months ago, but this time no one was afraid. Fear washed away as easily as the dirt and mud as the water reinvigorated the little fox, rehydrating him, brining him slowly and gently back to life. “Junnie…” his voice croaked out as a smile finally returned to his face, “I’m home Junnie, I’m never leaving again.” “That’s good to hear Petal,” Jun smiled as he reached down and unplugged the bath. The water began to drain before he plugged it again and let it refill clean and fresh. “I don’t want you ever out of my sight again,” he murmured as he began to strip his clothes, piling them on the floor, climbing into the warm water behind his little Petal. He didn’t know how long they sat there, the warm sensuous feeling of their naked skin pressed together, but the water went cold before either of them had enough of the feeling of being back together.

Wonwoo swallowed the thick bitter liquid with it’s fake peach taste when Junhui held it to his lips. All his life he’d been searching for home and now he knew for sure he’d found it. It wasn’t in a den or a brightly lit pet shop, it wasn’t even in the forest or the four warm brick walls of the little rundown cottage. It was right here in Junhui’s warm arms, holding him close as they snuggled together in bed, and home had never felt safer.


	35. I’ve kept my heart empty just to save a space for you

 

 

 

“I’m hungry,”

 

Junhui leaped from the bed and dashed into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and checked for things Wonwoo liked and soon had his hands full of strawberries and grapes, cheese, and some leftover pancakes Soonyoung had dropped off but had remained untouched. He fixed the unusual little platter of breakfast and balanced it with a big apple juice in the other hand and rushed back into the bedroom as quick as he could.

 

“Thank you Junnie,” Wonwoo smiled shyly as he looked over the sores in front of him. Food, something he would never take for granted, a symbol of his place in Junhui’s life. His eyes flicked up as the man watched him expectantly and he reached for a strawberry. “Here,” he aimed it for Junhui’s mouth but the man shook his head. “You need to eat,” he said and Wonwoo smiled again. This time it was brighter and a little more confident. “I will eat. I want you to eat too because I don’t want to eat alone. I don’t want to do anything alone....” Junhui parted his lips and let the little fox press the strawberry between them. He reciprocated the gesture, feeding Wonwoo carefully with his own hands, and soon enough the little fox was full. “I want to go back to sleep now,” he said and Junhui leaned over to out the breakfast tray onto the floor. He wouldn’t sleep alone. He wouldn’t have to do anything alone ever again. They were paired for life and nothing was going to break them apart.

 

 

Junhui slid back under the covers and snuggled into Wonwoo’s cool skin. He’d always been skinny but the poor thing seemed to have lost any weight he’d gained while living with Junhui and he let his hands travel gently over Wonwoo’s sharp hip bones, feeling every dip and rise of his ribs, the narrow waist that felt so good beneath his fingertips. He inhaled deeply, enjoying every sensual delight that was Wonwoo, the scent of him mixed with the delicate sound of little puffs of sleepy breath. He’d fallen asleep again and it made Junhui so happy, he needed to rest and heal, and he nuzzled closer to the sleeping fox enjoying their shared warmth.

 

“Don’t ever leave me again, my precious little Petal, I couldn’t bear it,” he whispered into messy tufts of dark hair and he knew the fox was sleeping but he hoped his heart would hear what his ears couldn’t. But the steady rise and fall of his chest, the splay of limbs abandoned to total relaxation, the sweet smile that flickered like a dying lightbulb told Junhui all he needed to know.

 

Wonwoo was home.

 

 

He must have slept too because he woke a little disoriented to find Wonwoo on top of him. “Y-you’re supposed to be resting,” he croaked out hoarsely but Wonwoo just smiled down at him. “I missed you so much,” he hummed as he leaned down and kissed Junhui. It was sudden and unexpected and the man quickly leaned into it, the slick slide of Wonwoo’s rough tongue flicking against his own. “Wonwoo,” he groaned softly as the fox broke the kiss to nip at his neck. “I missed you every minute...” Wonwoo nipped and kissed as his hands held tightly to Junhui’s waist. “I cried. I was so lonely, nothing mattered without you by my side...” he exhaled and the hot breath washed over Junhui’s sensitive skin.

 

“I cried too,” Junhui admitted. “I cried so much, I wanted to go back and get you, I hated myself for being so selfish...” his back arched as Wonwoo’s hands lifted his shirt and the fox trailed kissed down his stomach. “I never should have let you go.... I should have begged you to stay. I should have told you that I love you and I can’t live without you.” His breath caught in his chest as Wonwoo hooked his thumbs into the waistband of Junhui’s sweat pants. They were loose and he wasn’t wearing any underwear and he was almost embarrassed when Wonwoo found him already hard.

 

At the scent of his mates arousal Wonwoo whined. His ears flicked in excitement as he pressed his nose hard into the short tangle of pubic hair and inhaled deeply. “Please Junhui,” he murmured as his nose brushed along the length of Junhui’s erection. “Please let me mate with you. I need it Junnie, I missed you so much, and I’m so wet...”

 

He wasn’t lying. Junhui wasn’t sure if it was pure arousal or if his hormones were thrown off by the stress but his fingers found Wonwoo’s boxers stuck to him with slick. The scent of it was thick and heavy in the air and Junhui wasn’t going to reject him. Not after all they’d been through.

 

He pulled the shorts down just enough to reach inside. As he lightly teased the fox’s entrance with one finger Wonwoo’s hips rolled down in search of satisfaction. “Slow down...” Junhui tried to plead but the fox wasn’t having it. He was ravenous and moved to tear his clothes from his body, tail waving proudly in the air, sighing in satisfaction as he lowered himself down on Junhui’s cock.

 

“Feels so good....” Wonwoo whined as he rolled his hips faster. Junhui couldn’t say anything. All he could do was cling to the thin body of his little fox as he took what he needed from his human. “Feels good.... mate....” Wonwoo mumbled, entranced, his body moving instinctively and his eyes clenched shut. The primitive urge on display was erotic, compelling, utterly arousing and incredibly beautiful. “I love you Petal,” Junhui said as he drove his hips up to help the fox chase his high. 

 

“I love you too Junnie...” Wonwoo breathed out as his hips moved faster, rolling and thrusting, every muscle in his body constricting. Junhui was close and he knew he had to help Wonwoo get there first. He sat up on the bed, pulled the writhing fox close to his chest, held him close with one hand as the other went into his hair. As soon as his fingers rubbed the edge of one fiery grey ear the fox came apart. The warm spill between their stomachs was accompanied by a long low moan of drawn out pleasure as Wonwoo’s orgasm flowed through his body like water. The clench and tightening of his hot body around Junhui brought the man to the edge as well and his own breath quickened as he filled Wonwoo with warm hot seed.

 

Panting, recovering, they clung tightly to each other for what felt like forever as their bodies came down from their high. “Don’t pull out,” Wonwoo urged and Junhui was ready to acquiesce to every single desire his little fox had. He held him closer and looked over to the dresser where a lone crown of flowers sat dry and brown. It had died quickly, just days after Wonwoo placed it on Junhui’s hair, but it didn’t matter now. Life had begun to bloom again inside the tiny rundown little house that sat on the edge of the city. It was again filled with love and warmth and fuzzy ears and tingly ticklish cuddles. It was a home again in every sense of the word.

 

Wonwoo was home.

 

Junhui was finally home too.

 

 

The End

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for coming on this emotional ride with me. I think this is one of my favourite things I’ve ever written. It was hard; I don’t think I write good angst but I love to try so thank you to everyone who so generously complimented me. I read all your comments and I’m sorry if I don’t reply but I get a lot and I’m also bad at replying.
> 
> There is an epilogue which I will publish after Christmas and it’s mpreg so if you’re not here for it then I guess this is the end.
> 
> Love
> 
> abnegative xx


	36. Epilogue

 

 

He pulled the van to a stop in the driveway of the rundown little cottage. The work vehicle and the small payrise had been a welcome addition to Junhui’s life when Minghao took over from his father. Junhui now even had an apprentice, a bright and clever young man, and they were busier than ever.

 

It was needed. The extra money each week had gone straight into a savings account to prepare for the changes in their happy little home. The house was about to get a whole lot smaller.

 

 

“Junnie!” Wonwoo called out as he opened the door. His ears, shining in the late afternoon sun, gleaned silver and shining with good health. His skin was glowing and his brushy tail waved happily behind him. His belly, round and swollen, did nothing to slow him down as he moved with less grace than usual into Junhui’s arms.

 

“Feeling okay today?” Junhui asked as he led Wonwoo back into the house. The fox nodded and grinned as Junhui rubbed the enormous swell of his belly. Dr Hong had warned them the litter was at least two but it was hard to tell.

 

 

The home was warm although autumn was almost over.Wonwoo’s nesting instincts were in full swing and dinner was on the table, the fireplace was lit, and everything was spotlessly clean. “You’re supposed to be taking it easy,” Junhui said as he kissed his love gently on the lips. The shiver of happiness went all the way up to Wonwoo’s ears as he yipped a little. He moved slowly through the kitchen, piling a humble but delicious dinner onto a plate, Junhui always one step behind.

 

“Let me do that,” he tried to hustle the little fox out of the way but he was steadfast. “No,” Wonwoo finished piling the meat and rice onto the plate and handed it to the man. “I might not be able to do this much longer.” Junhui took the plate to the kitchen and the fox followed with his own. Pregnancy had finally given him the light layer of fat and flesh Junhui had always hoped for. His love looked happy and healthy and stronger than ever.

 

“You’ve still got six weeks to go,” Junhui smiled as the taste of the simple meal filled his mouth. “I don’t know if I will last,” Wonwoo shoved a big spoon of rice into his mouth and leaned back in his chair. His hands went to the swell of his huge stomach and he rubbed it lovingly as he chewed his food. Neither of them spoke the words that worried them. His belly was so full already. They knew he wouldn’t make it much longer.

 

 

He didn’t.

 

Junhui woke up to find Wonwoo washing towels at 4am. “Petal, are you okay?” Junhui asked with bleary eyes and Wonwoo nodded. “I can’t sleep. I feel restless,” he said as he folded the stack of fluffy towels he’d just pulled out of the dryer. “Come back to bed,” Junhui pleaded but deep down he knew what was happening. He didn’t go back to bed either. He went to the kitchen to make tea and wait as Wonwoo searched the linen cupboard for more blankets. He stayed out of the way while Wonwoo piled them high on the bed and lay in the middle of them before falling back into a fitful sleep.

 

Half hour later he sat up clutching his stomach and Junhui grabbed his phone. “Dr Hong, I think it’s happening,” he said down the phone. He was surprisingly calm. He unlocked the front door and settled into the nest with Wonwoo and held his hand while his Petal smiled through the pain. “You’re strong,” he whispered and Wonwoo nodded. He was strong. He knew that. He knew he could do this.

 

 

When he saw the doctor he hissed and Junhui had to rub his back to calm him. “It’s Dr Hong,” he whispered as he soothed the panting fox and he finally relented between contraction. “It seems to be moving quickly?” Junhui asked as the Doctor gently palpated the fox’s stomach. “He’s not a human,” Dr Hong reminded Junhui as the fox twisted away from his touch. “He’ll want to do this his own way. He needs to follow his instincts.”

 

 

 

 

“Is he okay,” Soonyoung paced with panic all over his face. “He’s fine,” Dr Hong smiled weakly at the odd little gathering. They’d been listening to Wonwoo’s guttural screams for about half an hour. Minghao was on edge and Soonyoung couldn’t stop pacing. Mingyu just made endless mugs of sweet tea. And Junhui kept them updated, bringing towels out and fresh ones in, keeping his Petal strong and as comfortable as possible. 

 

“It’s happening,” Junhui called our just minutes later. At the sight of the doctor in the doorway Wonwoo hissed again and Junhui had to calm him. “He’s not going to touch you,” Junhui held his arm while the fox crouched in the middle of the bed. “He’s just going to help me.”

 

“I can feel the head I think,” Junhui called out to the doctor as he tried to see what was going on. “Okay, just let him keep going,” Dr Hong replied from his spot in the doorway and Junhui rubbed Wonwoo’s back again. The little fox groaned and began to bear down and Junhui’s eyes flickered over to the doctor in panic. “He’s pushing,” he said and the doctor nodded. The towels under the crouching fox were wet and his forehead was streaked with sweat as he laboured his hardest to get his kits out.

 

With a gasp of relief and a rush of fluid Junhui saw a head with thick dark hair. “Check for the cord,” Dr Hong called out to him and Junhui’s fingers quickly checked the neck as Wonwoo sobbed. “One more push Petal,” Junhui urged him on and with another grunt the tiny kit slipped out and into Junhui’s hands. “She’s breathing,” he called out to the Doctor as a small but wilful cry filled the room. “Wrap her in a towel,” the doctor said and Junhui worked quickly because they weren’t finished.

 

The next few moments were a blur as the baby mewled and Wonwoo laboured. The next one was almost as big, her head almost bald, in contrast to her older sister. She too was wrapped and Wonwoo was able to see them as he sank back onto the pillows for a breather. “They’re perfect,” Junhui sobbed as he cradled them and Wonwoo wiped his brow. “I’m not done....” he groaned and crouched again and Junhui barely had time to react. The third one, easily the smallest, slipped out with ease. His hair was dark and his mewl was the softest and sprouting from his head was a pair of tiny ears.

 

“I’m done,”Wonwoo declared as he collapsed back onto the pillows. “Give then here.” Junhui wouldn’t dare deny him. “Please let Dr Hong check you all,” he begged and Wonwoo nodded. His primal instinct to birth in safety had been satiated and he was happy to welcome the Doctor closer. 

 

“Perfect,” Dr Hong pronounced after checking the two little girls and one tiny kit. He checked a whining Wonwoo over and declared everything to be just fine.

 

And it was just them. Junhui and Wonwoo alone in their nest with six sets of eyes staring at them. “How are we going to do this?” Junhui wondered aloud and Wonwoo just laughed. It was loud and wild, carrying all the joy and slight hysteria of adrenaline, but also raw and honest and beautiful. “It’s a bit late for that now!” He cradled the smallest one in his arms, the one with a tiny tail tucked into the warm towel, and smiled down at his miniature pert grey ears. They were just like his.

 

Junhui sat cross legged with the little girls in his lap and looked up when there was a knock at the door. “Can we come in yet?” Minghao asked when he poked his head in, “Mingyu is dying out here.” Junhui beckoned them in and the odd little friends group filed into the room silently. Until Mingyu saw the babies and one tiny kit and squealed with delight. “They’re perfect!” He exclaimed and looked over at Minghao who shook his head. “Don’t get any ideas,” he smirked but still smiled gently when he looked over into Junhui’s lap. “They look like you,” he said with uncharacteristic softness in his eyes and a little waver in his voice. 

 

“Please let me hold one, please please I’ll be careful,” Mingyu’s eyes begged the new parents and Wonwoo passed the tiny kit over with just a little reluctance. “I think I need a bath,” he said as he winced with pain and Junhui needed to get up. “Fine,” Minghao took one bundle and Soonyoung took the other and Junhui helped Wonwoo into the bathroom.

 

 

“With our family,” Junhui suddenly said as he filled the bath with hot water and Wonwoo’s brow furrowed. “You know, how are we going to do this? The answer is with our family.” Wonwoo nodded as he tossed his old tshirt onto the floor and let Junhui help his body into the bath. “Don’t drown,” Junhui said as he went to the door, “I have to check on them.”

 

He found Mingyu and Soonyoung on the couch still managing the towel wrapped bundles with ease. “Minghao is going to make soup,” Mingyu said as he swayed his big body with the tiny kit in his arms. “I’ll stay tonight on the couch if you want,” Soonyoung smiled his trademark grin at his friend with a baby girl in each arm and one started to cry. “She’ll want fed,” Mingyu said straight away and then the other little girl began to cry too and Junhui nodded. “Please stay tonight,” he begged over the sound of two mewling newborns. The scent of rich chicken soup began to waft in from the kitchen and their little home had never felt so full.

 

Full of life and love, full of warmth and laughter and tears. 

 

Full of family. 

 

 

The End

 


End file.
